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The ruble has collapsed, prices are rising, sanctions and lockdowns are taking their toll, and the threat of unemployment and major lifestyle changes has become real for many of us. The situation is very acute, and therefore we are confused to the point of panic, we don’t know what awaits us in the future and what we should do now …
How to regain self-control and support loved ones? In 2008, when we were also going through a difficult time, psychologist Julia Gippenreiter gave us some valuable advice. Now, despite her serious illness, she agreed, at our request, to revise her recommendations in relation to the new reality. It turned out that all the advice remained in force, but the emotions that the crisis causes have changed. “I have a lot of anger at our rulers, because we are stepping on the same rake again!” Yulia Gippenreiter noted. It is all the more important for us to cope with the situation without letting ourselves be overwhelmed by either anger or discouragement. Seven ways of family self-preservation.
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1. Recognize difficulties. Do not pretend that everything is going as usual and nothing special has happened. When we try to downplay the seriousness of what is happening, our anxiety grows, and this state is felt by our loved ones and children. Therefore, it is better to recognize that difficult times are coming, our incomes are decreasing and we will work together to find a way out.
2. Avoid reproaches. In difficult times, it is better to support each other, and not look in the family to whom you can shift the responsibility: “Now, if you exchanged money on time …”, “Now, if you bought a washing machine when I asked …”. Accusations and excuses will only break the relationship, not help find a way out.
3. Dose frankness. Openly acknowledging difficulties does not mean telling loved ones in detail about all your experiences. This is especially true for children. If you feel the need to be listened to, find the right interlocutor for this and make time, for example by asking him: “Please listen to me, I want to share my feelings and concerns.”
4. Plan. Try to discuss together what worries all family members and jointly develop a strategy that will help the family cope with difficulties in the near future. You can make such family meetings weekly.
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5. Talk about the future. Perhaps the crisis had a significant impact on your life, or maybe it simply reduced the purchasing power of the family. It is important to think about the specific changes that will take place in the near future. You may have to limit purchases, cut pocket expenses. When talking about these changes to children, do not forget to add: “we will manage”, “we will find a solution”, “we will succeed”. At the same time, not only your words will be important for children, but your business spirit, the search for ways to survive, self-sufficiency (during the years of trials, urban families began to plant potatoes). Let the children learn that it is necessary to respond to the blows of fate with personal initiatives!
6. Help each other. Pay attention to the family member who is having a harder time than others (like your grandmother) and discuss how you can help them together. By resisting adversity and helping others, we ourselves begin to feel more confident. And the children next to us become calmer: they feel that they can rely on us.
7. Expand your horizon. This proposal may seem strange, but it is important to bear in mind that fear and anxiety narrow the horizon, lock us in the narrow world of personal danger threatening us. Remember, your friends also need sympathy, support, and maybe help. Watch movies, read books, communicate with other people. The idea that we are not the only or the first people in history to go through a difficult period helps us feel less alone and more confident that we have predecessors who managed to cope with difficulties and persevere. And also that our example can help someone in the future.