Why you should not be distracted by the phone while communicating with children and in what situations is it important? Explains a specialist in developmental psychology.
Smartphones are changing the relationship between parents and children. I’m writing an article while I’m sitting in a coffee shop watching a toddler try to get the attention of parents who are on their phones. What happens to children when parents’ attention is diverted from them and directed to smartphones?
In 2017, psychologists from the University of Delaware and Temple University found that two-year-olds were worse at remembering new words when their mothers were interrupted by short phone calls. In 2018, researchers from the University of Illinois and the University of Michigan School of Medicine asked 170 couples with young children to complete questionnaires. Parents noted how often gadgets interrupted daily conversations or other activities with their children, as well as reported behavioral problems in children from bad moods to tantrums. The more often parents were distracted by the phone, the more children showed negative behavior.
In another study, Brandi Stupika studied how parents’ mobile phone use affects children’s athletic performance. As part of the experiment, she asked children to run between bases on a softball court. In one case, parents closely watched the children and expressed support, in the second, they immersed themselves in the phones and ignored the children’s attempts to attract attention. During the experiment, scientists recorded the time it took the children to run through all the bases. Also, the organizers of the experiment noted how often the children stumbled, stumbled, fell, or started ahead of time.
Children run faster and coordinate better when their parents are watching and responding to their efforts. Now smartphones are a part of life, it is unlikely that we will be able to abandon them in the near future. Studies show that the use of gadgets must be controlled so as not to harm children. Here are three tips to help you do just that.
1. Leave your phone in another room when you are with your child. When he lies nearby and announces new messages, it is difficult to resist the temptation and not to check it, even if you know about the harmful consequences. Children learn best when they are taught by involved adults. You need to focus together on one subject at the same time. Collaboration at a predictable pace and feedback help the child to focus on the main thing. Leave the device and turn off notifications.
Don’t check your phone thoughtlessly. Do it only when you need to complete a specific task
2. Do not take out the phone during sports games and competitions. Sports are an important part of child development. Many go in for sports and participate in sports games or competitions. When parents sit in the stands and stare at their phones, kids notice it and make more mistakes. If parents carefully observe the child and encourage him, he demonstrates higher sports results.
The next time you watch your son play football, follow him closely and express your support so that he knows that he is the center of your attention. Children need to feel that your main goal is to support them. Of course, you can take out your phone to take a few pictures or text your spouse that the game is almost over. Then put your phone back. You will be able to post photos on social networks after you return home. Look at the child, not at the screen.
3. Analyze the relationship between conflicts and telephone use. Parents who are fascinated by phones react more sharply to unwanted behavior of children. In addition, children tend to do dangerous things to get the attention of their parents. This can lead to child injury while parents are on the phone. If something like this is happening in your family, focus and awareness will help. Don’t mindlessly check your phone, only do it when you need to complete a specific task. Parents who make it a goal to regularly disconnect from their phones and practice a conscious approach to parenting experience more positive outcomes from interacting with their children.
On the one hand, I like a smartphone, on the other hand, I would like to return to the past when they did not exist yet. Of course, smartphones create valuable opportunities for social interaction. While sitting in the coffee shop, I also spotted the mother and son posing for a selfie, which definitely helps them feel closer to each other. The main thing is to use phones consciously.
About the Developer
Maryam Abdullah psychologist, specialist in developmental psychology.