Purpose as a lifestyle

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Expediency, like love, is a respected thing, but not very common: it is talked about a lot, but rarely used. Expediency is a reasonable fit with existing goals, but how many of us wrote down the cases for the day, have goals for a year, for three to five years?

An expedient action is an action that is reasonable, useful, appropriate, answering the question “Why? For what purpose? ”, Working in an orderly way for purpose and meaning, but when people live by feelings, there is no time to think about expediency.

Benefit — the necessary benefit, an objective positive result. What meets the needs.

Children do not use the category useful-harmful, preferring to operate with concepts: pleasant-not pleasant, like-dislike. Adults are more guided by useful-unhelpful, necessary-not necessary.

Although, by the way, adult children still continue to use the categories I want or don’t want.

A person who acts and lives purposefully builds his future, lives his future, while the majority of our citizens live by habits, live by their past.

How will be correct?

It is wiser to live with your head and set goals. In childhood, questions “Why?” are beautiful, an adult asks himself questions “Why? For what purpose?» Each significant action of a reasonable person is targeted and expedient, answers the question: why am I doing this? I get an education — why, all the more so — why exactly this? I work in the company «Horns and Hooves» — why? To obtain what resources or achieve what goal? Meeting with friends — why? Do I really need to go to my friends now, or do I have other priorities for today?

At the same time, there is really no need to weigh any small action on expediency. Reasonable people live without fanaticism. When it comes to washing the dishes after breakfast or getting dressed before going out, it can be done without thinking: sensible habits and good breeding are excellent substitutes for individual intelligence even when it is essentially absent. However, the best habit is to live consciously, observing your actions and being ready at any moment to clarify your choices.

The habit of acting expediently is rather a feature of internally mature people, realistic people with developed responsibility. A man-child is used to doing what he wants, and not what he needs, and in the event of a conflict, “I want and I must” will always agree with himself. Honesty with oneself is a prerequisite for truly expedient action.

It is advisable to act according to priorities, but you want to act differently. How do you do? If you consider it possible to think that to create your life you need a TV at night, a bottle of soda nearby and a bag of chips (we will not mention smoking and drinking), then you are still deceiving yourself.

The more a person understands his responsibility — responsibility to the cause, responsibility to people — the more important it is for him to control expediency. A child can play what he likes, an adult must do what is needed. If you are a leader, you know — «Every action of a leader must be responsible and expedient.» If relationships are important to you, you understand: “Every emotion should be targeted and expedient!”

When a person begins to seriously think about the expediency of his actions, life becomes more conscious, but more difficult. You have to think a lot and sometimes make difficult decisions.

The book is interesting — but is it advisable for me to read it when I have other tasks today?

TV beckons to watch the series — why? What’s the point of this?

The beggar asks for money — give? Is it advisable? Think about it… Is it right to transfer orphans to an orphanage? No, not right. Not advisable. Just because the children will not benefit from it.

It is curious that in the Russian mentality, expediency is practically a synonym for selfish, selfish behavior and is not honored, as something “American”. It is difficult for the average Russian layman to imagine that it is possible to act reasonably and consciously not only for oneself, but also for someone else, therefore, selfless actions are identified with actions “from the heart”, based on feelings, without a head.

A typical example: in the article “A Son Is Twelve: Raising Responsibility,” a smart dad wrote how he cultivates in his son the habit of thinking “why” he does this or that. Commentary on this article: “I see an adult young man with a question, why should I take care of my parents, show respect for them, for what purpose? Now I’m independent and I don’t need my parents anymore.»

We responded to this comment with: “Hmm. Do you think that parents can be loved only if for nothing, “without a head”? If parents really brought up children, children have values, and not just needs, and children already know how to take care of worthy people. That is, about the parents — in the first place, and precisely because the parents themselves set an example for them in this.

Whether selfish or not expedient behavior depends on the values ​​of the person. The expediency of the Consumer or the Parasite is always selfish, while the conscious actions of the Creator are focused not only on personal interests, but also on the interests of other people. As for the Romantic, he strives to be «above» expediency. Reasonable, expedient for him is usually boring and small, he is closer to the holy and high, everything is maximum (and, in fact, not very realistic).

It is expedient to act more often as result workers, and not as process workers; people are reasonable, but not impulsive and emotional, not prone to mysticism and rather a rational warehouse. Exactly as much as women are more emotional than men, men act more expediently, however, the habit of expediency often has a “regional character”, and the same person can act expediently in one area and impulsively in another. A person who competently sets his goals in business, successfully achieves them in his business, can be quite illiterate and helpless in relationships with loved ones and loved ones, watch the video from the movie «Negotiator». In business and in the workplace, where the expediency of actions is accepted and expected, especially under the supervision of the boss, most employees behave quite reasonably, and if a girl receives an SMS from her beloved, her reaction may already be dictated by feelings, and not by her head, and be in no way expedient.

The development of the ability to live and act purposefully takes place in stages, usually starting from one point — with substantive business goals (what and how we should do this month or year), and then goes in different ways for men and women.

Business is a more subjective environment than the area of ​​relationships, and perhaps that is why men are more willing to go there than women. On the other hand, a tough business atmosphere quickly develops the habit of acting expediently (if it doesn’t develop, a person automatically “falls out of business”), and already men begin to transfer it from business to the sphere of personal life: they become more organized, disciplined, consistent in everything. Life teaches. But this applies only to the subject area of ​​life, because in the field of relationships for many years many men remain, in fact, children. The ability to competently and consistently build relationships does not come to everyone and not soon, but if it comes, then again from the business world. Meeting the requirements of business relations, men begin to not only appreciate relationships, but also consciously build them, teach themselves to be friends with “necessary” people, become more actors, more politicians, more prudent and flexible in relationships. The last “bastion” is personal life, relationships with friends, parents, wife and children: in this area, the ability to consciously set and consistently achieve goals is most difficult for men.

Women, on the contrary, are great businessmen in their personal lives and in the sphere of relationships: flexible, artistic, helpless in time and wonderfully attractive, they almost always achieve their goals. What is usually lacking is awareness and consistency in achieving their goals, so their brilliant breakthroughs often alternate with terrible failures and depressions. However, business builds everyone, and if a woman in business is not just spinning, but has come into business, then the first area of ​​conscious and consistent application of the skill of expedient action is building relationships in business. Further, options are possible, only one regularity can be confidently stated: for both men and women, the starting point for mastering the ability to live and act expediently is business, business relations, and the most difficult peak is the circle of personal life, the area of ​​personal relationships.

As for men, their ability to act expediently is usually developed in the following sequence: 1) objective goals in business, 2) objective goals in personal life, 3) building relationships in business, 4) building relationships in personal life.

In any case, if you want to train yourself to live intelligently, responsibly and purposefully, you must have your goals written down. For starters, at least tasks for the day. Later, write down goals for a year, three and five years, and an action plan for these goals. Everything should be written down: while the goals and plans are in your head, even if you are sure that you remember everything, this is not expediency, but dreams. And the most responsible people will think about their life as a whole, determine their values, think about who they love — and write their Maximum life.