In this family, children live, not accustomed to shackling themselves with social restrictions. The great mom does it.
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In this model, the main task of parents is to remove education as such: if possible, remove any rules, instructions, edifications and prohibitions. Here parents are convinced that you need to educate only by your own examplewhile children have the right to be free. If children can be allowed something, then let’s allow it: children are more important, we love them.
If children break something while playing, it’s not scary, children are more important than things. Children can come whenever you want, TV — please watch; fight — you can, but if possible, let’s translate the fight into a fight.
This is not entirely permissiveness, but at the level of common sense, the principle “The fewer prohibitions, the better” works. It is clear that parents still teach the child what is vital, what will save the life of the child and others (“children do not play with matches, knives and axes”), however, ideally, all social prohibitions in this model should be removed. The child is free, as in an open field.
At the same time, unlike connivance, where there are no educational influences as such, in this model the educational process is carried out through the collision of the child with natural, natural limitations. Instead of prohibitions, parents arrange a collision with reality.
They don’t say “I won’t let you go without a hat”, but went without a hat — you got frostbite on your ears — who is to blame? Why didn’t you listen? I didn’t want to eat, and who will feed you later on the road? Listen next time. It was said before the road to go to the toilet, he did not go, and then whines. Please be patient, dear. Already fight not with me, but with reality. Mom and dad need to be obeyed not because they are so harmful, but because they tell you that life is like that.
This model has two varieties, which can be conditionally called «Honestly» and «According to Jean-Jacques Rousseau». In the “Honestly” variant, the child is brought up only on those life circumstances that have developed naturally. And if they didn’t work out, then it’s not brought up. In the “According to Jean-Jacques Rousseau” version, natural restrictions are created artificially by adults out of necessity, so that the child is more ready for life and able to cope with all the necessary life difficulties. In addition, by controlling the situation, it is possible to give the child life lessons without notation, when the child comes to everything “as if by himself”. And if the parents are creative people, then in fact the child is actively brought up by them, just not directly, but through a collision with skillfully selected learning situations. With diligence and some dexterity, parents can get wonderful results. Here, parents do not care that nothing puts pressure on the child, but that the child never feels pressure from the parents. Nothing is forbidden to the child, it’s just that as a result everything will be the way the teacher wants. The coercion of adults does not disappear, but parents try so that the child does not feel it, does not feel it.
What is the result of such upbringing? As always, very different, sometimes excellent, sometimes problematic. The strong side is that children brought up in this approach are confident and realistic people, familiar with life, more precisely, with natural life. Hence the possible problems: children are not very socialized, they are not accustomed to prohibitions, and in an ordinary school, after such home education, it is difficult for them.
The teacher does not allow them to leave the classroom during the lesson, but they do not understand: what, can someone forbid them something? They are accustomed to reckon with the walls: the wall is standing, it is made of stone, and they respect it. And the prohibitions from people are incomprehensible to them: “Why can’t I leave the class if I’m tired? I’ll be back and don’t disturb anyone!» Such children do not understand what social prohibitions are, any prohibitions cause them to protest: it is difficult for them, it is difficult with them.
As usual, the result of upbringing depends most of all on the art and common sense of the educator, and in capable hands, the Clear Field: Free Upbringing model gives excellent results.