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No more lines, stakes or even banning screens for a specific period of time! In the Internet age, parents have switched to 2.0 punishments. Indeed, in the United States, more and more of them are humiliating their children who have behaved badly on social networks. What does it consist of? Post a photo or video of their offspring in an uncomfortable situation to stop them from wanting to repeat it. And one of the most common punishments is shaving the hair or completely messing up, live. With the added bonus of derogatory comments from parents who try to justify their act. But sometimes it all ends tragically. In May 2015, a 13-year-old American girl committed suicide after her father posted a video of her cutting her hair on You Tube to punish her. A drama that demonstrates the negative and destructive impact of such acts. If this phenomenon does not yet affect France, it could well tempt some parents. “Everything that comes from the United States emerges here one day or another,” says Catherine Dumonteil-Kremer. According to this education specialist, “ posting videos of your child in a humiliating situation has consequences in adolescence. It’s going too far into the wound. These punishments are toxic and represent an attack on dignity. We do not get anything good! “.
The importance of setting a good example for children
Catherine Dumonteil-Kremer emphasizes another important point: punishments should not be found on the Internet. “We share what must remain of the order of the intimate. Not to mention that the published images are sometimes difficult to remove. Traces remain. It is important to see things in the long term and to set a good example, ”she explains. ” It should come as no surprise then to see children filming their parents in compromising situations and posting these videos on the Internet… ”. Considering that adults should be role models for their children, Wayman Gresham, an American dad, posted in May 2015 on his Facebook account a video going against these humiliating punishments. We see him getting ready to shave his son’s head before stopping dead. He then asks his son to come and kiss him. He also points out that throughout the video, he neither swore nor belittled his son. In just a few days, this post has been shared over 500 times.
In video: Punishments 2.0: these parents who humiliate their children on the Web
Punishment 2.0: an admission of weakness by parents?
“These parents who film their children in difficult positions feel powerless,” explains Catherine Dumonteil-Kremer. “They are looking for alternatives. Thisis an admission of weakness on their part, ”she explains.. And the latter, who opposes any form of punishment, insists that it is enough to set the right limits and communicate with your child to avoid overflows at home. Such videos are counterproductive. Indeed, for her, the main thing is to nurture the child’s confidence and to listen to his emotions. “For a child to integrate the right behaviors, his brain must be functioning normally. He needs optimal conditions and positive emotions. However, if we hurt him, he will be focused on the avoidance and not on the reason why. He will say to himself “I must not get caught otherwise I risk being punished …”. And it can become obsessive ”. In addition, as she indicates, stress has an impact on our behavior. “We don’t realize, but our lifestyle is often stressful. We do not always respect the rhythm of the youngest. This leads them to anarchic behavior. Sometimes they make a big deal out of it, they just want to tell their parents “take care of me!” “. “Children need more attention and appreciation. “There are many other tools to make yourself obeyed. And “it is not because we do not give punishment that we do not give limits”. To meditate on …