Our clients often ask this question, probably because it is impossible to give a clear answer to it. There are no significant differences between these concepts. As experience shows, they are interconnected so closely that at each moment of time both things happen to us.
I ran a three-day workshop called Gestalt and Video. During the work, each participant was asked to see his own image on the screen and thus realize the various manifestations of his being in the world.
The camera is in my hands, a ten-meter cable is stretched from it to the TV, which allows me to move easily. Jean is in the center of the group. This is his first contact with Gestalt: he chose this particular seminar. Jean works as a teacher in a small town and constantly feels under the gun of many pairs of eyes — his students, their parents, the city administration.
On the morning of the second day of our seminar, Jean asked me to work with him. At first, I took a few shots from a distance, catching him in the center of the group, and invited him to tell about his feelings — Jean noted that his muscles were tense and his breathing was difficult. Cautiously, since it seemed to me that trust had not yet been established, I moved to stand behind him and show him unusual footage. “It is from this side that my students see me when I write on the blackboard. They can shoot little arrows at me!”
Little by little, his work-related anxiety increased. Finally, I noticed a few micro gestures (his jaw opened, his hands relaxed) that are “usual” for him and suggest that you can get a little closer without creating an invasion situation. I stood right in front of him and focused the camera lens on his face.
He watched himself with excitement and suddenly exclaimed: “My little Jean, you have a frightened look!”
I lowered the lighting and moved the camera to show only the vague outlines. Now only his dark eyes were visible on the gray screen.
“But those are my mother’s eyes! They always look at me accusingly…”. I suggested to Jean that he talk to his mother instead of talking about her. «Go away, I don’t want to see you anymore. I don’t want to be judged anymore.»
What happened to Jean at his first seminar: psychotherapy or personal development? It seems to me that these two concepts can be distinguished in three ways:
- The first concerns the request.
The request for personal development is formulated as follows: “I come to you because there are difficulties in my relationship with my partner”, or “I want to develop my creative abilities”, or, as in the case of Jean: “I don’t want to be afraid of strangers anymore.” views.» Therefore, personal development is aimed at solving problems or finding resources. Much attention is focused on improving well-being.
In therapy, the request is often more open, more general: «I come because I suffer from…». It is often associated with general dissatisfaction and, as a rule, cannot be formulated specifically. For example, it can be existential anxiety that arose during one of the difficult periods of life (mourning, leaving children from the family, unemployment).
- The second relates to duration.
Personal development can be carried out over several months in separate seminars or individual sessions.
So, Jean first signed up for a three-day seminar in Paris.
Deep therapy is an exploration of one’s own psyche with its light and shadow aspects. Usually therapy lasts for several years.
- The third parameter is related to resistance.
Having chosen personal development, the client comes with a more specific request for change. Therefore, he works mainly on defense mechanisms that are directly related to the visible symptom. Jean, for example, was able to reveal that he projects his mother’s hard look on others, and therefore he is sure that everyone is watching him and looking at him with condemnation.
During therapy, the client explores various forms of resistance, checking whether they still perform their protective function or are «fossils», relics of the past.
Often, a request for personal development is initially formulated. And then, during the first months of work, some clients expand their request to a therapeutic one.
Jean called me a month later. Although his daily life as a teacher improved, his relationship with his mother remained difficult. Jean decided to undergo individual therapy. I was surprised, because even at the end of the seminar I did not expect such a request.
Jean was in individual therapy with me for two years. Our focus was on his relationship with his mother. I was undergoing a powerful transference. In different periods of therapy, I am a different mother: sometimes friendly, sometimes frustrating, sometimes admiring, sometimes loving — the list of epithets can be continued indefinitely! The pre-contact period lasted approximately three months, and the turning point in therapy came when Jean decided that he would no longer wear the chain his mother had given him. “I am an adult and I want to dress and live as I see fit – however, you are not my mother either!”