When a person is tormented by anxiety or depression, it is often very difficult to figure out what is happening. It happens that after numerous doctors, psychotherapists and drugs, patients do not get better. Often in such a situation, they fall into despair and believe that something is wrong with their brain and nervous system.
Sometimes the most simple and obvious things escape our attention. If the patient suffers from anxiety and depression and neither medication nor endless self-digging helps him, perhaps the reason is different. For example, he did not master the necessary life skills that could help him cope with stress, endure difficulties and just live a busy life, having time to cope with all the responsibilities.
Why does not everyone manage to master these important skills? There can be many reasons. Some grew up in dysfunctional families, and they simply did not have worthy role models, someone who himself possesses these skills. Even if parents wanted the best for their children and taught what they knew and could do themselves, this might not be enough. If they did not have a mentor in their lives who could instill critical skills, they could remain emotionally immature even into adulthood.
When we misunderstand what is happening and react inadequately as a result, things can go downhill. In psychology, this phenomenon is called dysfunctional thought patterns or cognitive distortions. Having worked with clients for many years, I realized that for emotional and psychological well-being it is necessary to master 8 key skills:
1. Perseverance, the ability to overcome difficulties.
2. Ability to resolve conflicts.
3. Self-organization.
4. Time management.
5. Social skills that help you get along with others, especially in group work.
6. Ability to solve problems and problems.
7. Ability to focus.
8. The ability to set personal boundaries.
Each of the 8 skills is important for emotional well-being. If we do not know how to connect with others at work or in other social situations, then we will find ourselves alone and may become depressed. If we allow life’s setbacks to unsettle us, then we too run the risk of falling into an anxious and depressive state and getting stuck in it if we do not understand what exactly needs to be changed in life. If we cannot pull ourselves together and cope with the chaos that awaits us at home, at the desk, in the car, we are in danger of overwork and burnout, which will also be followed by anxiety and depression. The same thing happens if we do not know how to plan time and all the time we are running somewhere, we are late and do not have time for anything.
The inability to focus leads to unnecessary stress, anxiety and a drop in productivity. If others constantly use us, demanding to give them all our time and attention, and we do not know how to respond, this is also fraught with emotional problems. In most cases, personal boundaries help to save time, but sometimes they are necessary to protect against emotional and psychological abuse.
After taking the first few steps, you will feel that you have become better in control of your life.
All this does not mean that depression and anxiety are always due to a lack of life skills, sometimes the cause may be hormonal problems, brain biochemistry disorders and other disorders, but this is not so common. Even if you’ve tried every treatment option, sometimes real progress isn’t made until you master life skills.
Treatment of depression and anxiety in any case should begin with a consultation with a doctor to rule out possible medical problems. If nothing is found, contact a therapist who can find the underlying causes of the disorder by examining your life, personal history, symptoms, habitual ways to deal with stress. There are many treatment options. Working with a therapist can help you learn to protect your personal boundaries, be more resilient, and overcome social anxiety. Online courses, self-help books, life coaches, business coaches can also help.
As soon as you start mastering these skills, taking the first few steps, you will feel that you have become better at managing your life.