Psychology of influence

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The psychology of influence is a semi-forbidden topic, since it concerns the technology of power and methods of real control over people’s behavior. And who will simply reveal the secrets of people’s power over people, who will share the power? There are none. On the contrary, it makes sense to take care that the knowledge of effective technologies of influence is not spread in schools, that these techniques are taught only among senior management personnel, and that only we … That is, not you, effectively influence.

A curious thing happens: those who use this science of influence every day shape public opinion so that no one else does it. Professional manipulators hire cheerful specialists who, actively influencing the minds of people, explain to them that it is not good to effectively and consciously influence the minds and behavior of other people and that you do not need to learn this. And now all educated and educated people know that only leaders of destructive cults and morally flawed manipulators are interested in brainwashing and training technologies.

That is, quite free people who effectively and consciously use all this rich arsenal without permission from above.

Given that “brainwashing” is easily called anything, from the psychology of advertising to technologies for instilling corporate culture or methods of an effective educational or even managerial process, then, as usual, the most creative and honest people who call a spade a spade come under fire.

… Colleagues, we live in a world where everyone influences each other – openly or covertly, subtly or gu.e., physically or informationally, from the heart sincerely or by common sense… Probably, it would still be better if we all to do it more consciously and competently, and the concern that, with any of our actions, the amount of good in the world will increase, will always be a guideline for all decent and civilized people.

Can, however, the psychology of influence be misused? Nobody is immune from this. Catherine II at one time was against the spread of literacy in Russia on the grounds that a literate people would write more slander and denunciations, and it cannot be said that her fears were completely groundless. However, a reasonable decision was all the same in the development of the school system, where children not only learned to write, but were also brought up as citizens of Russia. Similarly, now: we should not fight with those who teach effective influence techniques, but together with them learn to do it more competently, providing the moral component of this process.

The straightforward denunciation of unscrupulous manipulators in practice only leads to the fact that there are more and more people who like to dodge, and their tricks become more sophisticated and subtle. How does this happen? Easily! I am fascinated by Robert Cialdini’s Psychology of Influence, which is indeed a very sensible and informative book. Beginning it, the author admits that he has been fooled all his life by specialists in «achieving compliance», and emphasizes his condemnation of them. In the following chapters, he writes how people are affected by the patterns presented to them — no matter what kind. And then he presents the same patterns of manipulation, describing in detail how to fool the people and thereby successfully sell their goods — of course, without realizing how his book is creatively used by those who study the technique of successful sales.

Well, he has nothing to do with it. And the most interesting thing is that the author really gives the impression of a very sincere person. Don’t know what he’s doing?

Bottom line: if you do not influence, they will influence you. Do you want that? If you don’t want to be influenced, then start influencing these people so that they don’t influence you anymore!

Is it ethical to influence people close to you? Naturally, if you love them. If you love your old mother, you will (I want to believe) actively brainwash her so that she does not go into senile negativism ahead of time, so that she does not rush to become a helpless old woman, so that she does not forget that you all need her. If you love your children, you will actively educate them (that is, energetically influence them), if only because if you do not educate them, the street and the Internet will vigorously educate them.

I chose to influence my children a long time ago: by my example, and by persuasion, and by suggestion, sometimes by inspiration, sometimes by orders and direct pressure — with anything and in any way, as long as my children grow up smart, free, self-confident and decent people. Now look — it worked! So, great influence! Hooray!

The topic of influence, and especially effective influence, is of interest only to active people who want to influence people and the world. People in a passive or defensive position have little interest in the topic of influence, they are more often concerned with topics of protection (how to resist other people’s influence) or simply find an explanation for why everything works out this way …

At the same time, they influence others, the world and oneself — everything and always, although in different ways and in different forms. If a baby is a month old, discussing with him the appropriateness of his behavior and agreeing on something with him is inadequate, training methods are more suitable here. On the contrary, adults and reasonable people do not like being treated like animals, and it is better to negotiate with adults. When you need something, you can ask or demand a person, if there is an opportunity to interest him — you will offer what he will be interested in.

As a rule, the offer is more pleasant, the order is more effective. At the same time, it should be taken into account that the systematic transition from the form of a proposal to the format of orders marks a more general transition from the ideology of optional relations (free education, if we are talking about education) to business relations (in education, to a disciplinary approach). Whether it’s good or bad — see Parenting Models, and it’s also worth remembering that you can’t press after an offer. If you started in a good way with a request, the transition to a demand is perceived normally. But if you started in a good way differently, namely with a proposal, then the transition to a requirement will be perceived worse, as a sign that you are being deceived.

An effective influence is an influence that gives the desired result without undesirable consequences.

Or, to put it mildly: when the number of undesirable consequences is less than the desired result.

Often the most effective is the most direct, immediate impact. When you are strong, the world is friendly or the situation is not difficult — then you don’t need to be smart, you can act directly and openly.

Asked and received. Here’s the check, wrap it up, please. I have the right — I demanded, I have something — I bought it.

But life sometimes gives us more difficult tasks. Sometimes you can’t directly demand it, you can’t force it, there’s nothing to be especially interested in, or this is regarded as a bribe. In this case, hidden or indirect, indirect influences are more effective. How?

Indirect influence is a way when the influence is organized indirectly, through someone or through something, by something, but not directly. To launch an indirect impact, you need to find or create conditions that will launch natural processes or someone’s actions in the direction we need.

Sometimes natural processes can be used. Rafters do not drag heavy logs on themselves, they drag them to the river, which flows in any case and carries them on itself in the direction we need. The wind, which still blows, spins the blades of the mills and works for the miller for free. Instead of persuading drivers to slow down when driving through the yard, you can simply put a speed bump. Sometimes you can take advantage of other people’s opportunities. Men often like to help cute and a little helpless girls: girls open beautiful confused eyes, young men serve them. Women are ready to take care of those who remind them of children — adult men give them such pleasure.

Both in business and in the personal sphere, the practice of influence is extremely diverse. In addition to simple requests and direct demands, hidden manipulations are used, influence is organized through third parties or through building the right situation. In addition to persuasion, suggestion is used, emotional contagion is added to rational argumentation, direct instructions are enhanced by involvement and delay, words are supplemented by non-verbal means of influence, and sometimes direct physical means of influence.

As El Capone said, “A kind word and a gun are usually more effective than just a kind word!”

The main ways, and sometimes styles of effective influence:

• The use of force. Coercion, pressure, tension, onslaught, challenge, bribery, magic pendel. The Silovik is inclined to this
• The effect is soft, kind. Use of soft persuasion, inducement. Dushka is prone to this, see Motivation
• Organization (creation or alignment) of a situation in which the necessary actions occur naturally and naturally. Tactician is prone to this
• Managing vision, feelings and state. This uses the Manipulator.

Formula for Effective Influence: An intelligent man with an iron hand in a velvet glove. Effective influence is usually targeted influence. Influence is more effective when the source of influence is strong, and the addressee of influence is open (disposed) to influence. If not located, then unprotected or weakened. Therefore, the one who influences must take care of his reputation and his authority, and the impact is more effective when it is timely and targeted.

Point impact — the smart application of force, impact (or contact) on a point that affects the situation as a whole. Capture of consciousness is a point impact on a person’s motivation.

Specific combinations of different styles of influence, played as a single game, form Effective Influence Schemes.