Psychology of decision making

We are not machines, we have our own individual habits and preferences, there are emotions and desires, and all this affects our decision making, makes up the psychology of decision making. Yes, sometimes it’s scary to make independent decisions. Sometimes emotions and difficult traits of one’s own character interfere.

Is it difficult to make a choice? — It all depends on what type of personality and type of thinking a person has.

A person with negative thinking chooses from several troubles, and therefore usually the choice is long and difficult. A person with positive thinking chooses from several possibilities, so such a choice is interesting and joyful.

A person who is inclined to a rational analysis of the situation analyzes and comprehends what is happening: he thinks, understands, looks for causes and deduces consequences. This (sooner or later) gives him deep and well-founded solutions, but sometimes too late. A smart person is looking for a solution that is not the most profound, but which gives a solution here and now, the cheapest and fastest solution. “It just works, don’t worry why!” Which of them is right? There is no general answer here: sometime a solid “thinker” wins, sometime a smart and simply quick-witted person. In science, thinkers are more in demand, in sales — quick-witted ones. And outside of science and business, a large number of people (mostly women) make decisions based on their feelings — sometimes deep feelings, suddenly emerging from the depths of their subconscious (“Gradually, I felt that this is the only right decision for me!”), sometimes on a wave of impulsive surface emotions. “I wanted it, caught fire — so I bought it.”

Often such a decision is called an intuitive decision, although there is no more intuition here than in any random fantasy.

​​​​​​​Practically oriented people often make decisions in the simplest way — simply by asking smart people or turning to other sources of reasonable information, while people with mystical moods are looking for answers from the signs of the World or connecting to the energy-information field … Those who are fond of psychology the unconscious download the question into themselves and after some time find the answer in themselves: as a rule, for the person himself, it looks completely convincing.

When a person is not completely holistic, intrapersonal conflicts may arise in the decision-making process. For example, the decision of the mind (see conclusions) contradicts the decisions of the body (emotional decisions). If you yelled at a child, he may no longer approach you after that. It is not obvious that he drew conclusions with his mind, the natural decision was made at the level of the body. It happens that in one person the decision of the mind conflicts with the decisions of the body. With her mind, the girl decided — I’m getting married, but the body resists …

In the process of making decisions, mistakes can be made in various ways and in any direction. Someone makes decisions too quickly and thoughtlessly, someone seems to be putting off the simplest task on the back burner. It seems normal for someone to rely on intuition in everything, the other wants to reduce any decision to numbers, which is not realistic. Someone is looking for only simple solutions, the other complicates everything. This one pushes the decision to others, this one takes on what could well be delegated. For a long list of traditional decision making mistakes, see the article Bias and Decision Making.

The most traditional mistakes, however, are ruminating on matters of lesser importance (lack of priorities, inability to separate the main from the secondary), delaying the decision-making and sabotaging one’s own decisions (returning to a state of indecision after the decision has been made).

Time is one of the key points in competent decision making. If you rushed to make a decision, although there was still time, you hurried. If you haven’t made a decision in time, you’re too late.

When making a decision, clearly define the time by which the decision should be made. Do you have until the evening or just one minute? A belated decision is the worst decision. If you didn’t resolve the issue on time, you simply didn’t resolve it. If you are hesitating whether to take a plane, but the registration has already ended, do not be fooled: in fact, you have already decided not to take the plane. Therefore — allocate time while you can think and doubt, and determine the moment when the decision should be made.

And what to do with fears? In order to be less afraid of making a mistake, it is useful to master the Mistake exercise and teach yourself to analyze whether there are grounds for fear and anxiety.

While there is time, think calmly, relaxed, attentively, without wasting time, but not in a hurry. Calmly doubt, weigh the pros and cons. If there is an opportunity to consult with smart people — consult.

One of the interesting tricks: think about what decision a well-known person with a good head and a strong character would make in your place. If you understand what his decision will be, then this will be your decision.

Hints. Helps to make a decision:

Calm body. Here are the possible options: stop, stand — it is already easier to decide. Or: sit down, for example, in a half-lotus, put your back, hands (this calms), close your eyes — a decision will come in place of fears and worries. For the usual business — sit down at the table, take a blank sheet of paper and do a SWOT analysis (analysis of strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats). When everything is drawn and in front of your eyes, the solution is almost obvious.

Vigorous body. Sometimes it is more important not to calm the body, but to add energy to it. Good solutions come while jogging, great ones — during the shower, when the shower jets hit you right on the head and do an energetic massage to the vessels of the brain. In the shower, the best thoughts come to mind!

If the search for a solution does not give anything worthwhile, and time allows, sometimes it turns out to be useful not to bang your forehead against the wall, but to postpone the decision for some specific period — for example, until the evening or until such and such a date. You don’t always have to push yourself. It happens that when you load a question into yourself, the solution comes later by itself.

Once you have made a decision, set a time when it is no longer discussed. It can be two hours, or a week, or four years — but until this time has passed, you do not return to a new reflection.

Clarification: sometimes it makes sense to define force majeure. For example, you decide to start running in the mornings for a month, but a week later you have pneumonia. This is force majeure, you do not need to run yet.

Male and female in decision making

In general, decision making is more of a masculine approach to life. A woman is not inclined to make a decision, she often waits until she feels that the decision has matured, that she has understood everything for herself (about herself) and that she is already ready, after which everything happens. That is, her body did something for her or other people made a decision. Deciding is about action and that’s masculine, while understanding and feeling is about feeling and that’s feminine.

In making decisions, men are more often guided by reason, women — by intuition and their feelings, their emotional impressions. It is interesting to observe how, for example, men and women decide on the purchase of a book. Men (in the majority) will definitely look at the table of contents. Women, as a rule, will open several pages and see what is there. The impression of these pages will determine her choice — to buy or not.

Women are usually more anxious than men, and against this background, women tend to choose a solution that is not the best in terms of life prospects, but the safer one. Here is the case:

Lena wanted to leave her job and do her own business. She calculated her project from all sides and understood with her mind that she would receive more financially, there would be more free time, prospects and benefits open up for her, her mind does not give out any “against”. But at the same time, when she begins to think that she must make a decision and act, she begins to imagine herself in this role, her calmness disappears, she worries, loses sleep, feelings of excitement and bad mood overcome, this leads to a breakdown and insomnia. Lena decides to stay at work, because. he feels his demand there, love from customers, a feeling of flight and joy. Lena chooses to experience pleasant states in her life and be happy where she is now.

It is difficult to call such a decision rational. This decision was made not by the head, but by fears, after which the woman herself figured out why this decision was the most correct for her …

It can be difficult for women to make decisions using only their mind and will. Women are more emotional, pay more attention to their feelings, and the technique of choosing a female model has its own characteristics. The essence of the female model selection technique is that you take turns living through each of the possible options and carefully examine your emotional reactions and your sensations in the body. It is perfectly normal that this method is perfect for many men: no one has canceled individual characteristics and habits. This technique is especially suitable in cases where the question of choice has been standing for a long time, the possible options have long been considered, but it is still difficult to make a decision. See →

If a person needs to make a decision, then at the consultation, with the help of a consultant, he weighs all the pros and cons, takes into account the life experience of the consultant and consciously makes his own decision. If a woman needs to make a decision, but she can’t do it in any way and feels helpless, she comes to a therapist for counseling. See →

How do smart people make decisions? Reasonable people ask themselves how such things are solved in business (business is an island of common sense!), Consider risks and incredible opportunities — cross them out. After that, the most reasonable solution is almost always obvious. See →