Psychology of a man. How can women understand men?

Women do not always understand men: men’s reactions and demands seem to them — sometimes strange, sometimes tough. However, if a woman better understands the characteristics of male psychology, mutual understanding comes faster.

A man wants a woman’s love to be expressed the way he wants, and the love languages ​​of men are usually different than those of women. For a girl, the language of love is kissing; for a man, sex.

A reader writes: “Once I asked my husband how he understands that I love him, at what moments and what do I need to do for this so that he understands that I love him? His answer was: «When we have sex, and when you feed me» (meaning I cook him a meal). For my part, I assumed that he thinks that I love him when I cook for him, work with children and the family in general, communicate with his parents and friends.

For a woman, the language of love is to worry about a man and take care of him, for a man, the language of love is different. A man understands that he is loved when a woman feeds him and walks around happy, smiling like the sun.

He comes home — go out to him beautiful and smiling, hug him, kiss him and say: “Go eat! Probably hungry?

For a woman, the expression of love is to treat her beloved like a child, especially if the situation is a little tense and you want to defuse it. She wants to express her best attitude towards him and says: “Kitty, my little one, try it!”, bringing a teaspoon with a piece of tiramisu to his mouth so that he eats it from a spoon. If at this time he is even a little annoyed, he wants to bite this spoon along with the hand that feeds him like a little one. He’s not small! A man does not like to be treated like a child, even with tenderness, even with the best of intentions.

It is important for a woman when a man listens to her, and for a man it is important when a woman listens to him. This is different. If he said, it is important for him that this be done, and immediately. It is not clear to men that it is sometimes very difficult for women to perform “immediately”, she needs to be distracted from one thing and tune in to another. They do not understand this, because they “immediately” know how, and when a woman does what he asks — not immediately, a man perceives it as disrespect for him.

If you cannot do it right away, do not be silent, but say it and say it when you can. Men need certainty in everything.

A man loves business and does not like women’s feelings. Men do not need the emotions and feelings of a woman when he wants to talk about business. He wants to talk about the case, and the woman begins to turn on emotions and talk about her relationship, thoughts, what she thinks and how she experiences. This annoys men: “I’m with you on business, and you tell me about your emotions. Can’t talk to you seriously, like a smart one?

To make such misunderstandings less likely, ask him to speak clearly: “I am talking to you about business now.” It will be like a password between you, and men understand this. It will be convenient for you: if he did not say this, you will be — not to blame.

A man does not understand just «share». He still listens to abstract conversations in relation to himself: “What do they want from me?” A woman loves to dream very much, imagining a big beautiful house, big money, an expensive cruise, long journeys, a luxurious vacation. She just dreams, but a man in such a situation often feels uncomfortable, because he deciphers this as expectations for him, to which he often has nothing to answer.

So that a man does not create a feeling of guilt from scratch and does not get angry, it is better to accompany such dreams with a preface: “You are my best. Can I just dream? Here without tasks and goals, but just dream up for joy? Can?». He will allow, and you will rejoice together.

A man needs certainty. In everything, and the more, the better. A man wants certainty that a woman needs from him. Long and emotional long-talking irritates a man: “Finally, can you explain, but what is the actual meaning of your words?” Translation: «Give me clear instructions.» It is customary for a woman to talk about her condition, and a man is concerned about behavior — “Do what?”. Men in this respect are simple. They understand Yes and No, they need specific instructions, they don’t understand hints, feelings and vague conversations.

Often women talk to men in hints, but with men this is a very unproductive way of communicating. Firstly, a man simply does not understand what you want from him.

When a girl says to her boyfriend: “Marinka is getting married in a month,” her boyfriend perceives this simply as information. For the girl, it was a hint — and when are we at the registry office?

Secondly, if a man does not understand the hint (and most often this happens), then the woman is offended by him. At her suggestion of her friend’s marriage, she expects a proposal from her boyfriend. If it does not follow, then she is offended.

Women, tell a man exactly what you want from him. Hints don’t work for that!

A man is annoyed when, in the words of a woman, he does not understand the essence of the request, what she wants from him, does not hear the instructions. He may not agree with what a woman wants from him, but it is important for him to understand what a woman is addressing him with.

How to be here? Usually a simple wording helps out: “You sit down, I’ll just tell you. You don’t have to do anything, just listen and nod. I want to share with you.» Everything, after that he is ready to listen to you.

A man needs certainty when a woman answers his questions. If a man began to talk about difficulties and problems, he does not need a woman’s spiritual “yes, I understand you very much.” He needs options to think about how this situation can be resolved. But, so that he does not have the feeling that he cannot solve the issue himself, you should ask: “Are you interested in my opinion?” — and then look at the non-verbal. When a man asks for advice, advice can and should be given to him, only without emotional pressure: you think, he makes a decision.

Female wording: “Listen, firstly, you will come up with all this yourself, better than me, well, it seems to me that it might be worth doing this, but think about it yourself, you understand better.” It was, in fact, she gave him clear instructions, and in the form she said that you, of course, are the smartest, who argues against this.

If a man asked him to help, then he needs it, and it is better to do it: then and in the way he asked. If a man does not ask for help, the man does not need help. Don’t, women! A man hardly accepts help in general, and from a woman in particular. For a man, unsolicited help from a woman is an indicator of his insolvency: “You didn’t manage it yourself!”, And it’s important for him in everything: “I myself!”.

If your man is carrying a suitcase on wheels, you don’t need to tell him where it’s more convenient and easier for him to go around the stairs: men perceive this not as help, but as petty guardianship and distrust of him. It’s easier for him to deal with everything himself.

Husband and wife are going to visit, the husband is driving, and it seems they got lost. The husband is nervous, trying to figure it out on the map, time is running out … The wife gets bored with this situation and she says: “Let me go out and ask passers-by?” Here a man can explode, and his wife will be offended in the best of feelings. With her care, she wanted to tell him: “You are close to me, you are dear to me, and I don’t want you to be upset!”, And her husband perceives this as distrust of his abilities, as an accusation of his stupidity: “Where are you taking me to, you can’t be with you at all, you can’t take me to the guests!

How to behave correctly? Women, relax and trust your husband. Shut up, do not give advice that is not asked. It’s okay to touch his hand and gently say, «Don’t worry, we’ll make it, there’s nothing to worry about.» And after a few minutes, when he hears this and digests it, you can ask: “Can I help you somehow? Maybe I can ask passers-by? Emphasize that a man can handle everything on his own, and without your help. Then he will allow and accept your help.

A young man sends a resume and asks his girlfriend: “Tell me, please, are such accompanying comments normal?”, The girlfriend looked and formulated: “Yes, of course, everything is wonderful there, but it seems to me that it might be worth adding something.” Such advice was accepted with gratitude.