Psychologies editor’s explanatory dictionary

Chemicals, thanks to which information is transmitted from neuron to neuron, so that our brain can understand what we feel, see, hear … There are more than a hundred of them, and each is responsible for a complex range of emotions and sensations. For example, oxytocin causes tenderness and trust, and dopamine — the joy of achieving a cherished goal. So when it seems to us that “butterflies flutter” in our stomach, they actually flutter in our head.

The ability to live and think independently of other people’s opinions and assessments, with the awareness of responsibility for one’s life. This art is difficult to learn, because many of us constantly have the voices of our parents in our heads — smarter and stronger, and we feel that we must prove our right to be ourselves. Assertive behavior takes us out of childhood relationships into the real world, where everyone has the right to make their own mistakes, insist on their own, show emotions, and sometimes play the fool.

He may appear strange, cold, or indifferent because he values ​​solitude, is bad at understanding feelings (both his own and those of others), and does not need intimate relationships. At the same time, he thinks in an original way, notices patterns that escape the attention of others … Do you remember Sherlock Holmes? Yes, the famous detective is a vivid representative of the personalities of the schizoid warehouse. He is ready to solve the most difficult puzzle, but he is unable to understand why the girl who forgot to powder her nose is nervous.

The surprise is that it is not the prerogative of men, but is also characteristic of women, although it would seem … One of the basic concepts of psychoanalysis, meaning complex experiences that overtake a child after he discovers the anatomical difference between the sexes. It is assumed that children believe that once a penis was not only in boys, but also in girls, only girls have already lost it, and boys can still lose it if they misbehave. In boys, the castration complex manifests itself as a corresponding fear, in girls — as envy of the penis. But in fact, we are talking about an unconscious fear of losing power over one’s own life.

It is really dark, because we are talking about malicious behavior, when they enter into a relationship only to provoke a scandal, anger and manipulate the interlocutor to waste time and nerves on themselves. Three traits make up the dark triad: narcissism (the need to be the center of attention and at the same time the neglect of others); Machiavellianism (a tendency to deceive and manipulate others) and psychopathy (antisocial behavior and an inability to understand the emotions and feelings of others). So it’s not about arguing, rude and bullying.

There are no banking operations here. Although the transaction in psychology also implies that the exchange of actions should ideally be mutually beneficial. And if communication with a partner, mother or superiors is not going well, perhaps we should work with one of the three states of our “I” (Child, Parent, Adult). Let your inner child speak. Stop thinking the way our parents did. Or allow, finally, the Adult to objectively assess the situation and make an adequate decision.

We perceive the face of the interlocutor not as a combination of nose, eyebrows and eyes, but as a whole. The whole, complete, not reducible to the sum of parts form is called gestalt. And in psychology it is a unit of analysis of the psyche. So that an unfinished gestalt (relationship, business or desire) does not create a center of anxiety inside and does not interfere with living “here and now”, you can use the advice of Oscar Wilde: “To overcome temptation, you need to … succumb to it.”

Literally: polygamy, such an approach to relationships that allows you to love several at once without feeling remorse. You can imagine such a scene: “Darling! This is treason! — What are you, dear, it’s just polyamory! And I love you too!” And the interlocutor immediately understands that nothing terrible is happening … True, the question remains what to answer him when he says “This is polyamory”, being caught with a passionate beauty.

If I am unlucky with husbands and I divorced twice — what does my grandmother have to do with it? I didn’t even see her alive! However, it may turn out that the grandmother was also twice divorced at the same age as her granddaughter. They just didn’t talk about it at home. Then it’s already a recurring family scenario. Even without knowing anything about our ancestors, we can inherit their fate or problems, although these repetitions do not always lie on the surface. Psychogenealogy helps you explore your family history so you don’t live someone else’s life.