Contents
- Remove the fear of fear
- When fear is not fear, but a protest and a cover for unwillingness.
- Overcome fear with another emotion.
- Positive and negative reinforcement of success
- The Power of Positive Experience
- Dealing with Fear with Inner Dialogue
- Overcoming Fear with Imagination
- Can’t manage — lead
- Change scary picture
- Change the connection between pictures and feelings
- With difficult problems we go to a psychologist
This is work with the internal benefits of fear, the search for an opportunity to interrupt fear with another emotion, work with a picture of the terrible and its connections with feelings.
What lies behind the fears
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Remove the fear of fear
Expectation of the unpleasant: if the expectation is manifested in the fact that intense fear is created, then such an expectation triples the experience. If, in advance, against a relaxed background, to live an unpleasant situation, imagine it in detail, relax — then unpleasant experiences become less.
What are you most afraid of? Know all your fears! It’s just your vision… Let those fears go with the flow…
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When fear is not fear, but a protest and a cover for unwillingness.
Children know that if you don’t feel like doing something, you can say “I’m afraid!” and for persuasiveness start to be afraid. Small children and very adult children often invent fear for themselves simply because it is beneficial.
The child does not want to go to the doctor, the doctor can hurt, the child screams «I’m scared!» He screams furiously, in protest, and he screams because he saw: a girl recently screamed like that, and they gave in to her. The older boy does not want to go to the store and came up with: «I’m scared alone in the store!», And to make it more convincing, he tensed inwardly and stubbornly shrugged his head into his shoulders — it turned out quite similar to fear.
If parents are led to such scenes, soon the child will become accustomed to the behavior of fear and begins to be afraid of everything that he does not like. It becomes capricious and cowardly. Growing up, now grown men and women tell themselves and others a little about their fears, believing that this relieves them of responsibility for what they now refuse to do.
How do wise parents deal with this issue? Differently. The male way — «You can be afraid as much as you like, but you still have to do it.» Female — more often persuasion and seduction: «Don’t be afraid, it’s not scary, you’ll like it!» For adult children who act out fears, implosive therapy (flooding) was invented: a method of treating phobias (fears) by immersing the client in a situation of maximum tolerable fear for a sufficiently long time until the client gets tired of being afraid and realizes that being afraid is stupid and useless. The procedure is tough, quite masculine, but quite effective.
Softer ways are to turn the difficult into “easy”, distract from the terrible and confront the fact: you did it. So children gradually learn to swim through catch-ups on the water.
Tiger is afraid, Tiger needs to be supported. Mayon Payne supports him like a man, with his confidence and demand: «You can do it!»
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Overcome fear with another emotion.
A specific fear, like any other feeling, can be interrupted by another fear or another emotion: rage or fatigue, curiosity or laughter. See →
Positive and negative reinforcement of success
The body sustains us when we keep it alive with positive reinforcement for success and negative reinforcement for moments of fear. Small steps method or easy start. Driving a car. Squats as in Total YES
The Power of Positive Experience
Fear goes away when a successful, positive experience appears, when a person gains confidence that he can cope with difficulties, that he is a winner. Collect your existing positive experience and accumulate new successes. Learn new things and learn to remember first of all your luck and success↑.
For a positive experience, ensure you have an easy, successful start, and turn big difficult things into a sequence of small actions, each of which is within your power. Most fears of some action (especially if they arose from some traumatic unsuccessful first attempts such as the “throw in the water” method) in people are treated by the “easy start, feasible steps” method with a friendly and qualified professional nearby.
Dealing with Fear with Inner Dialogue
One of the differences between humans and animals is that humans constantly talk to themselves using such an evolutionary tool as an internal dialogue (we exclude those who have achieved enlightenment from this list!) See →
Overcoming Fear with Imagination
As they say, all diseases are from the nerves. Most fears, including the fear of public speaking, we create ourselves. But if we were able to do something with our thoughts that caused our fear, in the same way we can create in our imagination something that will return us peace, strength and energy! See →
Question: How to relate to fears (fear of being left without money and work, getting sick, illness of a family member, etc.)? Such fears arise from time to time. And in general — I’m afraid of this world. Too much negativity in it, I can not help but notice it.
Fears are normal, all normal people have them. Further, the only difference is that children begin to pay all their attention to fears and tell what is very difficult for them to do when they are scared. And adults remember what they need to do, and then they go and do it.
Then such a man receives the title of a Man, and not just a male being.
Terrible is only a certain background of our life.
Yes, it rains outside, but the situation can be terrible. And what are we going to do now? Sit afraid and go out into the street? Well, rain. But you can still run for bread. Yes?
Adult and developed people do not allow themselves inappropriate fears, they are not anxious. They are cautious and courageous at the same time, and they know how to work quickly and efficiently with emerging fears. All of this can be learned.
Can’t manage — lead
The use of fear in negative motivation. «Shock». «15 in the morning»
Change scary picture
Change size, color, position, mute… See →
Change the connection between pictures and feelings
Desensitization against the background of relaxation or a vigorous state. Again — laugh?
With difficult problems we go to a psychologist
Of course, in our culture it is not yet customary to work through your problems with a psychologist, as is customary in the West, where it is already considered good manners to visit a personal psychotherapist once a week. But nevertheless, it can be a good and effective way to solve deep-rooted problems that have arisen in the past, but prevent successful performance in the present. See →