Let us give an example illustrating how it is possible to discover in an adult a model of behavior that reproduces behavioral attitudes fixed in childhood with amazing constancy.
A thirty-year-old man of an extremely aggressive nature, who managed to achieve success and recognition despite a difficult childhood, came to the therapist in a state of deep depression, complaining that he had lost the desire to work and even live. As he explained, he is soon to be engaged, but looks to the future with extreme anxiety. He is tormented by jealousy, and he is ready to terminate the engagement. The facts cited by him to explain his jealousy are not very convincing, and since the young lady in question is not guilty of anything, it is necessary to find out the reason for his obvious distrust of her. He belongs to those individuals who approach another person, feel attracted to him, but immediately begin to be aggressive, which destroys the very contact that they wanted to establish.
Now let’s plot the lifestyle of the person described above by taking one event in his life and trying to relate it to his current attitudes. In accordance with our usual practice, we ask him to tell about the first childhood memory, although we know that it is not always possible to verify the reliability of this memory from an objective point of view.
He remembers being at the market with his mother and younger brother. The market was crowded and the mother took him in her arms, but then she decided that she should carry the smaller child in her arms, put him on the ground and took the younger brother, and our patient was pushed in the crowd, and he felt completely confused . He was then four years old.
In this recollection, we can see something that we have already heard in the description of his present mental disorder: he is not sure that he is being preferred, and cannot bear the thought that someone else can take his place. As soon as we pointed out this analogy to our patient, he, amazed, immediately saw it himself.
The psychological goal towards which all actions of each person are directed is determined by the influence and impressions of childhood, conditioned by the environment in which he grows up. The idea of an ideal state, that is, a goal, is probably formed in the first months of a person’s life. Already at this time, certain sensations can cause a child to feel joy or sadness. Thus, the first features of the future philosophy of life, expressed by the most primitive means, emerge to the surface. The main factors that affect the psyche are formed in infancy. Further, a superstructure is erected on this foundation, which, under the influence of various external factors, can be modified and transformed. Soon, under the influence of many factors, the child is forced to form a certain attitude towards life and decide how he will respond to the problems that life puts before him.
reflection
And under the influence of what factors did the child in the market feel completely confused, but, for example, did not get angry? or not upset?
Was it shaped by some other earlier events? And what shaped them? — In the end: a bad infinity.