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An extract from a Well-being session recounted by Anne-Laure Benattar, psycho-body therapist. With Louise, a 7-year-old girl who is tearing her hair out …
Louise is a pleasant and smiling little girl, although his nervousness manifests itself very quickly, in the form of annoyance. Her mother explains to me that Louise started her “seizures” since her complicated separation with the father of the little girl.
The decryption of Anne-Laure Benattar
When certain emotions could not be digested following a painful event or a major trauma, they can be expressed through a symptom.
The session with Louise, led by Anne-Laure Benattar, psycho-body therapist
Anne-Laure Benattar: I would like to understand what you are going through with your parents since their separation. Do you feel good with them?
Louise: I love my parents a lot, but they get angry a lot, so it makes me sad and angry, and I tear my hair out.
A.-LB: Did you tell them how you feel?
Louise: A little, but I don’t want to hurt them. They will cry if they know what I think of them! They are like children!
A.-LB: What if we question your sadness and anger? Kind of like he’s a character?
Louise: Oh yes ! this character is called Chagrin.
A.-LB: Great ! Hello Sorrow! Can you tell us why Louise is tearing her hair, what is the use of it?
Louise: Chagrin says it’s to show Louise’s parents that this situation is too difficult to live with and so incomprehensible!
A.-LB: Thank you Sorrow for this clarification. Now let’s see if your creative part has any ideas or solutions to replace this behavior, and show your parents differently what touches you. Anything that crosses your mind!
Louise: A very cute cat, dancing, singing, screaming, pink, a cloud, a hug with mom and also dad, talking to my parents.
Anna-Laure Benattar’s advice
Checking out what was going on in the child’s life when the symptom first appeared helps to better understand what is behind it.
A.-LB: That’s great ! What creativity! You can thank your creative part! Now let’s check with Chagrin which option would suit him best: a cute cat? To dance ? To sing ? Yell ? Try to feel for each solution whether Grief is okay or not?
Louise: For the cat, it’s yes… Dancing, singing, shouting, it’s no!
A.-LB: What about pink? A cloud ? A hug with mom and dad? Talk to your parents?
Louise: For the pink, the cloud and the hug, that’s a big yes. And talking to my parents is also yes… but I’m a little scared all the same!
A.-LB: Don’t worry, the solutions will work on their own at the right time. You just have to install in you solutions called the cat, the pink, the cloud, the cuddle with mom and dad, and talk to your parents, so that Grief can test them for two weeks. She can then choose one or more to replace the behavior you want to change.
Louise: It’s a little weird your game, but then after that, I won’t tear my hair out?
A.-LB: Yes, it can help you find solutions to get better and free the mechanism that has been put in place.
Louise: Awesome ! I can’t wait to get better!
How can you help a child stop tearing their hair? Advice from Anne-Laure Benattar
NLP exercise
This protocol cropping in 6 steps (simplified) allows you to welcome the part that triggers the symptom and put in place solutions to replace it, reinforcing the intention behind the symptom or behavior.
Verbalize
Find out if the child is wearing hidden emotions out of fear of his parents’ reaction or not to hurt them.
Bach Flowers
A mix of Mimulus forrelease identified fears, Crab Apple to change behavior and Star of Bethlehem to heal past wounds may be of interest to Louise in this situation (4 drops 4 times / day over 21 days)
* Anne-Laure Benattar receives children, adolescents and adults in her practice “L’Espace Thérapie Zen”. www.therapie-zen.fr