Proper upbringing of children is education built on the basis of rules and going in the right direction. In any business there are rules: both in the movement on the road, and in the matter of education. Children should know the rules of life, and parents — the rules of education.
Male and female approaches to raising children have their own characteristics. The male approach is rather demanding. The female approach is different, more often it is the ideology of “ill-bringing”, the ideology of “just living with a child, just loving a child”. Perhaps it is precisely for this reason that the idea of proper upbringing is closer to men and less readily accepted by women.
Proper upbringing teaches the child to reasonable prohibitions. The world in which the child lives should be spacious for him, but protect both the child and those around him from the problematic activity of the child. It is good when a child has both a sense of freedom and an understanding of reasonable boundaries. Prohibitions must be stable, strict and clear. If everything is forbidden to the child, but the prohibitions are “straw”, the child learns not to respect the prohibitions. If the prohibitions are numerous, incomprehensible and unpredictable, it is very difficult to navigate in such a world. Numerous prohibitions make the child’s world small and cramped, it is difficult to live in such a world. In response to the request of the child, the first desire of a loving parent is the desire to allow, but the second point — the parents must think. If it’s right to refuse a child, then you need to refuse. Saying no calmly and firmly is normal and is the natural right of a senior. In this case, it is useful to explain under what conditions the desire of the child can be realized.
In the zone of freedom (in the zone of permissions), the child should be guided by the line of preference for the best choice. The child is grateful when he is not abandoned in the freedom zone, but is offered what is most preferable. As if they are leading by the hand in the best way. It’s a game, an involvement… not violence, but guiding the child along the best route.
To educate means to instill in children things that are not quite natural for them. Cleaning, brushing teeth, going to bed, doing homework — this is not always a pleasure for children. If you manage to make these things interesting, attractive for children, this is good luck, but if such a maneuver fails, the children are likely to begin to resist what the elders want from them. What to do? See →
The main points by which it is determined whether education is going right or crooked:
- Contact with a child. The belief that the child is always good!
- The negative is only forced, it is not typical. Don’t hit! Understand.
- Positive attitude predominantly. Praise
- There is freedom!
- Experiments supported
- Mistakes are made by the child, but are corrected (as far as possible) by the child himself. Cm.
- Energetics of the educator
With proper education, the following methods are mainly used:
- Game,
- involvement,
- distraction, distraction,
- explanation,
- indirect and direct suggestions,
- situation of natural samples,
- positive reinforcement
This is the natural background of proper upbringing. Swearing, a magic pendel, slaps on the buttocks and threats to flog with the right upbringing are not used or are used as an exception, in extreme situations.