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– Before the pandemic, many people had extra-marital relationships. They reconciled family life with this “on the side”. In the face of the pandemic, this mechanism got complicated: the romances fell apart. Or marriages – prof. Zbigniew Lew-Starowicz tells about what problems Poles come to see a sexologist with today.
- What is the sexual life of Poles like two years after the pandemic began? We asked prof. Lew-Starowicz
- According to the expert, the quality of sex of many Poles has improved significantly
- – Let’s love each other because people with good sex are gentler to each other in difficult times – advises prof. Lew-Starowicz
- You can find more such stories on the TvoiLokony home page
Edyta Brzozowska, Medonet: It has been two years since the coronavirus pandemic affects almost all areas of our lives. Can you, professor, summarize this time in terms of the quality of Poles’ sexual life?
Prof. Zbigniew Lew-Starowicz, psychiatrist, psychotherapist, sexologist: Sex in the age of a pandemic is very diverse. If you look from the perspective of people who have been infected with the virus and struggle with covid fog or other complications in the form of respiratory problems and insufficient lungs, they sometimes have a hard time having a good sex. It is such a direct effect of the coronavirus to weaken sexual ability.
Covid fog, also known as cerebral fog, which is manifested, among other things, by notorious fatigue and a drop in mood – also affects libido?
Of course. The decrease in libido is also seen in those patients who passed COVID-19 without serious symptoms or complications. But another group of people are those who have lost something as a result of the pandemic, such as becoming unemployed. How many companies – cafes, restaurants, boutiques have gone bankrupt? How many small, medium and larger entrepreneurs had to “withdraw” from the market? Consequently, they fell into a depressed state. Depression is known to be one of the leading causes of sex problems, both in terms of the desire to have sex and the ability to have it.
Further part below the video.
Even if the couple’s life has been successful so far in terms of erotic experiences?
Yes, because in “normal” times they worked, had their routine jobs, and they met in the afternoons and evenings. During a pandemic, in this multidimensional crisis, these people were doomed to spend their time in their homes all the time. And during this time, numerous differences made themselves felt.
It turned out that when the couple is constantly together, the relationship is not as successful as it seemed?
And that’s why many relationships just fell apart. You should also sympathize or not, it depends on your point of view, the group of people who had their extramarital affairs before the pandemic. And it was in this system that people functioned, reconciling family life with that “on the side”. In the face of the pandemic, this mechanism became significantly more complicated and the romances fell apart as a result. Or marriage.
In terms of sex life, do you see any positive sides to the pandemic?
I know relationships that have constantly complained that they don’t have time for each other. Couples worked two jobs, taking care of children, shopping and everyday bustle. In the coronavirus slowdown, they found themselves again because they enjoyed being together more often. Still others have reevaluated their lives in the face of COVID-19, so there have been existential benefits for them.
Have they found out that, contrary to appearances, life before the pandemic was simply much more optimistic?
Exactly. And here it turned out that a virus can kill this life overnight, cause irreversible losses, and disrupt normal functioning. In view of all this, values such as family turned out to be important. It started to be appreciated.
As a result of this reevaluation, the quality of sex of many Poles has improved significantly. Contrary to appearances, it is a very large group of people, although little known.
Probably because happy and fulfilled people do not visit a sexologist.
But I see them on the Internet, I follow various websites and message boards. I treat others, I have no choice. Both during visits to the office and online. It is also a novelty that was not there before. Thus, the pandemic also changed the treatment style. There are patients who value online advice very much, although they started the therapy traditionally in the office. And they continue online and they praise it a lot, also for the possibility of filling e-prescriptions.
There are patients who would never have come to you if it weren’t for the possibility of such remote therapy, somehow forced by the coronavirus?
Of course. This form often allowed them to overcome the barrier of shame, not only in front of the therapist, but also in front of the entire procedure: recorders, waiting room, other patients waiting in front of the office. In the case of an online session, all this is not necessary, so she encourages.
You can make an appointment with a specialist on the haloDoctor.pl platform
It also mobilizes people from places where there is simply no sexologist’s office.
And those that are afraid of being recognized and commented in their small circles. Although of course I will always value direct therapy very much, I really appreciate this change in the new form of online therapy.
During the pandemic, have you noticed the increased influx of patients who discovered that sexting, or sending nude photos with a smartphone, and cybersex in general, is a problem for them?
I treated such patients before the pandemic. They sparkled and still sparkle on the web. They don’t see the need for a sexologist’s advice. Until a partner notices that they are avoiding marriage and are caught cybersex. So they are given the condition: «Do something about it, heal yourself. Otherwise, it’s over with us ». Then they come to therapy.
Because successful sex is bonding.
It is priceless, from the beginning of humanity. And it is bond-forming, otherwise our functioning would be limited to copulation only. There is a whole list of positive effects of sex, ranging from health effects – in the cardiovascular and respiratory systems, as well as in the social and mental spheres: after successful sex, we are relaxed and at ease, and our self-esteem increases. The level of fear is also falling, including that of the coronavirus pandemic. Let’s love each other because, after all, people with good sex are simply gentler to each other in difficult times.
This may interest you:
- Why do people make love more in December?
- Products that are better not to eat before sex
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