I’ll tell you straight: don’t count on me when you want to oppose pretense and authenticity/sincerity. We are very lucky that we can pretend: this proves that we are not completely subordinate to our essence, our emotions, our «identity» and our beliefs.
Pretense is a sign of freedom that distinguishes the civilized animals that we are. And in general, the one who is able to pretend to be a civilized being, isn’t he already at least partially? Does the actor who portrays a miser, Nero, or a jealous husband not find in himself (if he is a good actor) the traits of a miser, a madman, or a jealous man? If he is able to portray and pretend so talentedly, does this mean that he has found something of his own, real, in the depths of himself?
You can also think of pretense as an attempt, a test, the purpose of which is to reveal (or not) part of our true complexity. At a masquerade ball you can pretend to be a tango dancer, but nothing will resonate with you: then pretending is hypocrisy. But you can do something else: pretend to be Robin Hood and get in touch with the «Robin Hood» in yourself. Then pretense becomes a way to get closer to yourself, and the external ceases to be superficial. Moreover, it becomes necessary to identify something significant. This is a good metaphor for life: we have to pretend, throw sealed bottles of different images into the sea to see which ones will tell us something important about ourselves.
- The day I stopped wanting
Of course, in moments of the highest fullness of being, we stop pretending. This happens when we experience aesthetic pleasure, orgasmic joy, suffering… But these moments when we stop playing life differ from others in that we are present in them in all our complexity, our spiritual wealth, are involved in them all sides of our being. But in order to discover these various dimensions of our own personality, we had to pretend … Sometimes we even act as if we are pretending, for example, pretending to be angry, sad or jealous … but in fact we pretend to pretend ! So the circle is closed. Pretense is that adventure that is part of the discovery of one’s «I», but a «I» fragmented and multiple, partially changeable, that «I» that is not simply «identity». Man is a strange animal who has to pretend to get closer to himself.