Preparing for the wedding: what does it tell about your family life?

Preparing for your wedding is the first major and long-term joint planning in your relationship, and it is indicative of later life. By the way you approach this task, you can draw conclusions about how your family life will be built, namely:

• how the family budget will be created and spent;
• how decisions will be made;
• what values ​​and goals are your family’s priorities for the next year, three, five or even ten years.

Today, newlyweds have a huge choice. You can go to the registry office together, even witnesses are not needed. And you can gather all your friends and family. You can hold a wedding in a narrow circle or broadcast it online for millions of subscribers.

How to conduct your wedding, it’s up to you. The main thing is to approach its organization, as well as everything in life, with a clear head and a clear understanding of what and why you will do, whose and what needs to satisfy.

Here is the most common list of questions you should ask yourself and your fiancé to ensure your wedding day goes the way you want.

1. What is the purpose of the whole event?
2. What are the main tasks?
3. For whom do we arrange a ceremony in the registry office and do we arrange it?
4. Who are we celebrating for?
5. What is the budget?
6. What country are we getting married in? In what city, place?
7. When?
8. What environment do we need? Lush, humble, themed?
9. Which style?
10. What table?
11. Who will be the organizer?

Goal and tasks

The easiest way is when the purpose of the wedding for the groom is to please the bride. He will have the same goal in family life, and this is very inspiring. But the desires of the bride are not always a priority, and sometimes even contradict the intentions of the man. Therefore, it is better to immediately write down your goals and objectives and ask how your future husband sees them.

Here are a few goals that some acquaintances set before the wedding, and their corresponding values ​​according to the Shalom Schwartz questionnaire:

• Leave vivid memories so that the wedding is remembered for a lifetime (stimulation)
• Introduce two clans in expanded composition (kindness)
• Show all invitees how cool future spouse / beautiful spouse (achievements)
• Meet the expectations of relatives or friends (conformity)
• Reconcile some members of the family (kindness)
• Cause admiration and envy in certain people (achievement or power)
• Have fun with family and friends (stimulation)
• Become the most beautiful bride (achievements)
• Recoup wedding expenses with gifts (power)
• Skate a compulsory program (traditions)

It is easy to guess that in order to achieve these goals, different approaches to organizing a wedding are needed, as well as different tasks at all stages of the event. No goal is better or worse than the other, the main thing is to honestly admit to yourself and to each other why you will play the wedding. Or you won’t.

After all, if your goal is just to get married, you can do it together. With or without a dress, at home or away, with a photographer and cameraman or away from prying eyes. If you decide to organize a whole holiday, invite people, then you need to understand why. Then you can more easily answer the questions of when, how and where. And for all the rest – in style, budget and organizer.

Once you have set your goals, think about what the wedding needs to be like in order to achieve the goal. What is most important, what tasks at the event need to be solved? After all, you can achieve vivid memories by flying away together to a new place, and by doing something unusual in your city. And you can arouse admiration and envy without holding a wedding at all, but simply by arranging a professional photo shoot in an exclusive wedding dress and a chic place.

But in order to get to know their relatives, they will have to gather everyone together and organize a feast and interaction in such a way, give instructions to the toastmaster or host, so that everyone can talk to everyone. Yes, and you can have fun with friends in different ways, the main thing is that everyone understands the same thing by the word “fun”.

Having come to an agreement on the goals and objectives of the wedding, it’s time to discuss the concept and style with the groom. Interesting ideas that meet the goals and objectives of your celebration will be offered by professional wedding planners. I strongly recommend contacting them, even if you decide to invite only a dozen guests.

Someone will still have to keep track of the timing, communicate with the restaurant, be in charge of the music, provide the floor for congratulations, gather everyone for a photo, or give instructions to the operator. And it’s better if it’s not you or friends or relatives who came to relax.

wedding budget

Discussing wedding expenses with your fiancé will be easy if you have reached an agreement on the family budget in the previous step. This is your first family holiday and should be budgeted just like any other family event. The same applies to the purchase of wedding dresses and jewelry.

Discussing the concept of an upcoming event or guest list, you will see how decisions are actually made in your couple. Don’t worry if the groom has left decisions about venue, décor, menu or music up to you. If you agreed on the main thing – the goals and objectives of the holiday, discussed and agreed with the organizer on the concept as a whole – the details no longer matter to the man, unless, of course, they critically affect the overall budget of the event.

The most important thing is to keep your relationship warm during the preparation period and help love grow and grow stronger, including in wedding memories. Therefore, treat the preparations for the wedding as an important, significant, but not terrible event. Like a vacation – anticipating, rejoicing and choosing the details of your trip.