He was terribly small, skin and bone, ugly. I was afraid to touch him. Today he is a healthy seven-year-old. I am the happy mother of a premature baby.
Every year, about 18 are born in Poland. premature babies. For most parents – in a situation of complete surprise. As a rule, pregnancy is normal. Until the dramatic moment when the baby is born many weeks ahead of schedule or when it is necessary to make an immediate decision about such an early arrival. In order to save a child’s life.
– During my first pregnancy, I felt well, but because of my high blood pressure, I often went for checkups – says Katarzyna Michałowska, mother of Szymek, 30, and Nikodem, XNUMX. – When I was in the XNUMXth week, the gynecologist said that my son should be much bigger. She referred me to the hospital. There, the doctor diagnosed the loss of fetal movements. My son’s heart rate is barely audible. He announced: «Please make up your mind. Either we do a caesarean, or you will wait a bit longer, but it may end tragically for a child ”.
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– In 90 percent In cases of cases, the parent of a premature baby is suddenly, without preparation – explains Mariola Wachowiak-Jędrusik, a nurse with many years of experience at the Newborn Intensive Care Unit at the Multidisciplinary City Hospital in Bydgoszcz.
– This is a great shock for parents. Introducing them to a new, completely unexpected situation is difficult. Nobody had imagined their own little one in some glass box connected to the apparatus before. The reactions are really different, so we stand with the mother and father at the incubator and explain – step by step – how to deal with the baby. We have a “Essentials for Premature Parents” on the ward. It is a guide that helps parents to enter a new reality with their child. I have already seen different behaviors in the ward: anger, crying, feeling sorry for everything … We must then show support and calmly explain what is happening to the child and how to act. We are not looking to the future. With premature birth, a baby’s condition can change in an instant.
Rally of premature babies and their parents – watch the video.
34-year-old Ewa Wiśniewska waited a long time for her Nicola. First, many years of trying to get pregnant at all. Then one in vitro, the other …
– I finally succeeded. Two embryos were implanted. They survived. “So we’re going to have twins”, my fiancé and I rejoiced.
The problems started around week 23 of pregnancy. The cervix is too short. Ewa was in danger of premature birth. But she didn’t feel bad. The girl, who was more mobile, lay at the top of her stomach, and the son moved down. It was known that there would be no need for a cesarean, but children had to be delivered as long as possible.
– That day I went to my clinic in Ireland for a checkup. Before that, they just kept saying “okay.” Okay, it was never enough for me, that’s why I flew on additional visits to Poland, where I was made, among others, prenatal tests and a pessary was placed on a too short neck – says Ewa. – This time the Irish doctor didn’t say ‘okay’. She grabbed my hand and said, «I’m so sorry. Your little son is dead. Please buy your medications and come back to us in two weeks ».
For the next five weeks, Ewa carried a dead baby inside her to give the living one a chance – so that it could develop in her mother’s belly for as long as possible.
– I finally gave birth to my children in the 30th week of pregnancy. By caesarean section. There were tears of happiness and despair. I have my longed-for daughter. I had to bury my son.
– I know the story of Eve. I remember every child who visited our premature ward – says Mariola Wachowiak-Jędrusik. – Nicole, Ewa’s daughter, like every premature baby, first went to the incubator. It is a difficult time for both the child and the parents. Each day is one big unknown. I see mothers suffering and afraid, but we want them to find out exactly what prematurity is, we teach them a new role. It is very important for your little one to gain weight. We release him from the ward only when he reaches the prescribed two kilograms, can suck and breathe on his own, and his general condition is stable.
Katarzyna and her husband decided: we want to have a living child. However, when she saw her son after cesarean, she cried:
“How small, skinny, wrinkled he was!” I was afraid to put my hand in the incubator, to touch it. He weighed only a kilogram – remembers Kasia today.
It took time to step into the role of mum of a premature baby. First of all, she had to switch from thinking: ‘It was supposed to be so beautiful’ to: ‘What can I do now. How to help your child, how to deal with difficult emotions: fear for his health and life, fear for nursing ».
– Mothers of premature babies spend long hours on chairs next to incubators. Fathers come straight from work. They bring them food and nappies for the little ones. They stare at the small, wrinkled faces of newborns and learn how to read a barely perceptible change in skin color, a barely visible grimace – to read what they feel, what they need, whether it is necessary, for example, to call a doctor.
– Unforgettable feelings come when the nurse takes the baby out of the incubator and puts it on the mother’s breast. This is called kangaroo. The point is that the child should have body to body, even for several seconds. It felt her heartbeat, her scent – says Kasia.
An important and touching moment is also leaving the incubator and moving to the crib. Finally, you can pick up your baby more often and for longer periods.
– When they moved the baby to the crib, I was euphoric – recalls Ewa. – For me it was a sign that the worst was probably behind us. The little one breathes and eats on her own. It’s fidgeting. The rehabilitator laughs and calls her little Chodakowska. But soon after that, a medical examination and the news, after which she was knocking off my feet. The little girl has retinopathy. A common eye retinal disease in premature babies. It can cause severe visual impairment and blindness. Actually, you have to be patient. We cannot say now if the little daughter will see …
– It’s like that with premature babies. Before they live the first few years of their lives and reach their peer norm, their parents will shed many tears over them – says Mariola Wachowiak-Jędrusik. – I know many premature children who are now happy preschoolers, students. I also know how many hours of rehabilitation are behind them, visits to specialists, and hospital stays. That is why I always call them little warriors, and for parents of premature babies, I have set up a support group called “Thumbelina”. We organize meetings with neonatologists, specialists in nutrition, care, rehabilitation and speech. From nursing to mental support. I am happy that more groups are being formed. Recently in Brodnica and Wałbrzych.
The second major problem of prematurity is financial issues. Parenting a premature baby costs much more than parenting a full-term baby. According to calculations by neonatologists, hospital treatment of a premature baby (until he leaves the hospital) costs a minimum of PLN 50. zlotys. Some of these costs are covered by the National Health Fund, but others have to be covered by the parents themselves, e.g. the cost of some vaccines, and after leaving the hospital, long rehabilitation of the child, depending on the child’s needs.
– My son, a premature baby, who was born seven years ago, is now a healthy and developing first-grade student – rejoices Katarzyna. – When he was five, my husband and I decided to have a second child. Nicodemus was also born prematurely, but only a month away, so it was enough to wait for him to reach his birth weight. Although we suffered a ordeal with our first child due to his premature birth, we did not break down. A premature baby does not mean that the chance for a normal life is eliminated.
– Nikole is still in the hospital – says Ewa. – They plan to discharge her in early December. Every three hours I take food for them and take them to the ward. I am in the hospital day after day, from morning to evening. It’s not a big deal, that’s what every parent of a premature baby does.
Ewa does not know how serious the retinopathy will be in her daughter’s case. She has no idea, and now no one will tell her, will she suffer frequent infections, develop normal body motor skills, speech, intellect …
– We’ll do anything to help her. He is our beloved, awaited child. I have already lost one.