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Pregnant … and separate
The youngest of a large united sibling, Mathilde imagined reproducing the family pattern. But Thibault left one November morning without saying anything. Yet this baby, they had wanted it together. After a long career in assisted reproduction, Aude finally got pregnant. Her husband then started to move away. A few months later, he left her for good. ” These stories are rare but they do exist, confirms the psychologist Corinne Antoine, who receives every day in consultation with future and young mothers. Some men fail to take responsibility for their future fatherhood and flee. Without having chosen it, these women all found themselves alone at a crucial moment in their lives. To the pain of the breakup was added the upheaval of motherhood.
Pregnancy: an extraordinary adventure
Like adolescence, pregnancy is an extremely psychically intense period. This particular state can awaken or give rise to all kinds of anxieties and fantasies. Pregnant, we are generally more sensitive. We need benchmarks, listening and warmth. The future dad is often the only interlocutor called. The one with whom we share our fears but also our joys. His presence is fundamental throughout these nine months. ” The companion helps the woman to flourish as a woman and as a mother. It makes her stronger, that’s obvious. But what if he fails? So, worse does a new person share their life? “These future mothers are more anxious and more stressed than the others,” continues the psychologist. They are afraid of being alone at night, of having faintness. The further they go through the pregnancy, the more tired and panic they become because they realize that they have no one to help them. “
In video: Right: leaving home
Support from professionals …
Each will react in its own way and find the resources to overcome this difficulty. Despite the separation, “there are women who manage to project themselves into the positive, into the construction. On the contrary, others reject this pregnancy which they consider responsible for the departure of their spouse. »In this second case, when the pregnant woman does not live motherhood well and withdraws into herself, the risk is obviously that she will have a depression. Future mothers are not spared by this disease, the deleterious effects of which are known today on pregnancy and the baby. We also know that in 50% of cases it leads to postpartum depression. Early treatment is therefore essential. “When we realize that the context is difficult, we ask mothers if they are surrounded, assures Dr. Vahdat, gynecologist-obstetrician. If we detect psychic fragility, we ensure that the pregnant woman is taken care of before birth ”. Beyond medical follow-up, health professionals also have the task of listening to future mothers and directing them to the maternity or PMI psychologist if they deem it necessary. The 4th month interview was specially created to identify risky situations.
… to that of relatives
When the companion is no longer there, thefamily can also provide support at this key moment. “Some women abandoned by their husbands return to the city where their family is. They relocate near their parent because they feel that they need to be secure at that time, ”observes the psychologist. To get better and enjoy your pregnancy, a friendly or family presence is essential. People with whom we can free ourselves from our resentment, talk about our fears and especially talk about the future. Julia found solace in her closest friends. She says it is what saved her. “