pre-love

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​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Pre-love: a state of wanting to fall in love, an increased readiness to fall in love.

Spring, lilac blossoms, a young girl clicks her heels on the asphalt, a warm breeze plays with her light dress … She walks through the city, she is already in love. In whom? It is still unknown, but the eyes are already in love. “Where are you, my only one, about which the heart will say? ..” This is called the state of pre-love, the state when she cannot help but fall in love …

The nature of pre-love

For the emergence of the state of pre-love, two circumstances are sufficient: the state of excitement and the interpretation of this excitement as evidence of falling in love.

If there is no excitement, if the organism is completely calm — and as long as the organism is completely calm — the state of pre-love will not arise, falling in love will not happen. On the other hand, if arousal is interpreted by a person not as evidence of falling in love, but as fear, just excitement, or, for example, a consequence of the influence of drugs, falling in love will also not take place.

In this regard, the state of pre-love usually arises and intensifies based on the following components:

• sexual desire,

Well, for example, the guy was in the army for two years, he didn’t see women for two years. Came to the «citizen» — ready to love everyone. This is Love? No, it’s almost love, it’s close to love, but it’s more accurate to call it the normal, natural sexual attraction of a man to a woman. The guy cannot directly tell the girl: “I have such a sexual attraction to you! ..”, and everything “dresses up” in romantic clothes of love.

• Prestige and conformity reaction to social prescriptions,

All the girlfriends have already fallen in love, everyone already has boyfriends, but I don’t have one yet. What, am I worse than others? I must have something too!

From everywhere, like hypnosis, comes the suggestion: “It’s time to fall in love. To fall in love with such and such and not fall in love with such and such. It is especially fashionable this season to fall in love with such and such. So we fall in love — by state order …

• Neurosis,

If a person has a general state of dissatisfaction that causes a desire to escape somewhere from him, he can look for an opportunity to escape into love … Love frees from neurosis (albeit not for long), and all gratitude and joy («I found a person who! ..») poured out in the form of love on the liberator. Neurosis can also be created artificially, playing on the creation of desire and alternating alternately the feeling of success and «Damn, bummer …» — watch the video clip from the film Amelie.

• Romanticism.

Romanticism is the denial of a gray ordinary life and faith, the search for something extraordinary, dreaminess and readiness for idealization. The most productive neurosis for love, heavily advertised on radio and television. See →

Prejudice and love

The state of being in love creates the basis for imprinting the Beloved and is one of the important components in the formula of being in love: Pre-love + Imprinting the Beloved + Promotion of the experience of love. See formula of love