There are two types of positive thinking. You can be optimistic about what you think, or you can be positive about how you think. One of them is useful, the other is dangerous! And, unfortunately, the difference between them is barely distinguishable.
Optimism is dangerous positive thinking.
Optimism is the belief that everything will be fine, even if the evidence suggests otherwise. The problem with this kind of thinking is that it leads you away from the truth. Whenever you deviate from the truth about your situation, you will make weak decisions and get lousy results.
Consider the dangers of optimism:
- You keep smoking because you don’t believe you will get lung cancer.
- You continue to believe that relationships that are experiencing serious difficulties will miraculously improve.
- You keep going to dead end jobs that won’t get promoted.
- You don’t skimp on old age because you think you’re going to win the lottery.
Obviously, in these cases, believing that everything will be fine takes you away from opportunities to improve your life. Unreasonable optimism is dangerous!
Despite these examples, many people (and many authors) argue that there are advantages to lying to oneself in situations where a positive outcome is unlikely. This creates a lot of confusion around positive thinking.
Common examples of statements:
- Believing in yourself when no one else believes you can succeed.
- Optimism helps you stick to a goal in the absence of external support.
- Faith that your actions can prevent mistakes.
In these cases, optimism can be helpful. The problem is that it is impossible to neatly separate instances of truly beneficial optimism from dangerous optimism. A lie is a lie, no matter how you present it!
You must accept the truth about your situation! Here are a few things to keep in mind:
- Better to try and fail than not to try. Quite often, we simply sit idle, letting life pass us by. As they say, “an attempt is not torture”, and “a negative result is also a result”.
- We learn from failure, not success. Each failure gives us new knowledge. Every mistake brings us closer to success.
- Purpose motivates action. Goal setting is not an achievement, it is the creation of inspiration and motivation for action. Even if success does not come, you can continue to work towards your goal.
These are just a few of countless others. In order to stand firmly on your feet, you do not need to lie to yourself. A realistic look at the situation will help you find the best solution. Developing a really good form of positive thinking can help you with this.
A positive attitude is a useful form of positive thinking.
Optimism is positive thinking about things that will happen. A positive attitude, on the other hand, allows you to stay positive in the way you think about these things. Unlike optimism, a positive attitude does not use lies. A positive attitude is in line with the truth of your reality, and you can be as positive as you like without the threat of overbearing or arrogant positive thinking.
An example is enough to explain the difference between a positive attitude and optimism. Let’s say you’re unwell. There are several ways you can interpret your state:
- 1. I am dying.
- 2. I am unwell.
- 3. I have problems with diet and work.
- 4. I have habits that need to be changed.
- 5. I received a challenge and opportunity to improve the quality of my life.
All this is true. You can’t look at a list of these statements and disagree with them unless you’re really in shape. You can only think of one point of view at a time. A positive attitude suggests cultivating the perspectives that are most helpful in getting change.
Optimism includes delusions about results. With it, you will assert that you are not going to suffer because of ill health. You can also claim that you can easily cope with the disease (and quickly get back on your feet, even if the disease is really serious). A positive attitude does not accept such statements.
How to cultivate a positive attitude in yourself without deceiving yourself.
Developing a positive attitude is a search for new perspectives. The more perspectives you have at your disposal, the more ways you have to get out of the situation.
A positive attitude is like having a very spacious garage that can hold a lot of tools. When tu.e. leaks, you have many different tools to fix it. It’s not about lying to yourself that tu.e. not leaking, or that you have a hammer and nails to fix it.
Find helpful thought patterns.
If you have not yet developed a positive attitude, there are two possible reasons:
- 1. You don’t have enough tools.
- 2. You are too familiar with one ineffective set of tools.
In the first case, you must find additional tools. If all you have is a hammer, find a screwdriver, drill bits, and wrenches. You can do this by reading more books from different authors. Joining new organizations introduces new ways of thinking, as does meeting new people and cultures.
The second case is problematic, you have to force yourself to think with a different set of tools. You may consider the problem unsolvable without the intervention of luck or higher powers. This can be useful in some cases, but if you force yourself to think with a different set of tools, you will be able to get out of more situations.
The value of a tool determines its usefulness. Any remedy, even if temporarily helpful, that causes you to lie to yourself is ultimately dangerous. However, even with a precision tool, there is a huge range of utility levels.
The tool is useful if it:
- 1. Gives more energy.
- 2. Focuses you on the actionable part of the problem.
- 3. Motivates you.
Positive thinking is not about what you think, but how you think. If you remain optimistic about the results, it will eventually lead you away from reality, into self-deception.