Suspicion.
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On my window there grows a cute, but thin and extremely emaciated plant, from contact with which we both tremble with our whole bodies — both I and the plant. And it, in my opinion, is very offended by this — like a real asthenic. If you were once very mentally tired — so that everything hit your nerves, when any one of someone’s caustic word cut you as if alive and your only desire was for everyone to leave you behind — then you were an asthenic.
We all are asthenics, just asthenics are more often.
From childhood, doctors explained to his mother (dad did much less work on him) that the child had a weak nervous system and was very impressionable. Restless sleep, poor appetite, whims, fearfulness, stuttering… He was afraid to stay in kindergarten without his mother, he was afraid to fall asleep alone in the evening, he often cried, whimpered, got sick… He was taken to clinics, but his fears did not go away from communicating with doctors, but only intensified .
Whether his mother was the same weak and helpless creature or, on the contrary, crushed him with her demands, shouts and discontent — it does not matter, the result was that he was sent to school with great anxiety. And it’s true — he was not ready for school workloads or school wildness.
At school, he was often tormented by his peers precisely because he was timid, shy, did not know how to fight back impudence, did not understand jokes, and it was easy to bring him down. If you quietly approach him from behind and knock the briefcase out of his hand, he will startle simply from surprise and become confused. Then, picking up the crumpled briefcase, he will turn pale with anger, clench his fists … — but remain in place, blushing with shame for his own cowardice and helplessness. Yes, he is afraid: he is afraid of sharp knocks (the door slammed), he is afraid of unexpected touches (a slap on the shoulder!), he is terrified of a public failure (and he must speak in front of the class), he is afraid of animals (and all the dogs bark at him), and most of all he is afraid that he will be accused of being afraid … Multiply all this by his sick pride and you will feel that his soul is like one taut string, twitching between naked nerves.
Feel — and forgive him for his incontinence and irritability. And the fact that he breaks down more often on the weak.
Due to the fact that his emotions are so unstable, the asthenic could be called a person of mood, but in fact they are very different — they have different content of emotions. In a person of mood, due to a change in mood, the picture of the world as a whole changes, while in an asthenic, all experiences revolve around his personal successes or failures. A person of mood feels like a part of a huge world, an asthenic is its center.
More precisely, a wedge on which white light converged. When life is so painful, you begin to appreciate yourself …
Hypochondria often accompanies his life: constant thoughts about health and illness, against which he constantly listens to his bodily sensations, and most often to his heart. Asthenik is willingly treated, put to bed, undergoes examinations …
— How are you feeling?
— I feel it, but it’s bad …