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Be positive, they taught. Always say yes, they said. Get out of social networks, they urged. But do all these tips apply now? Or can we reconsider our attitude towards them?
We know that flawless Instagram pictures have little to do with real life. And, perhaps, in the past, temporarily deleting this or other applications really had a good effect on the mental state, as did the time spent without gadgets at all. It used to be like that, but now something has changed.
During the pandemic, the smartphone and computer have become for many the main means of keeping in touch with the world. The daily Zoom meetings, the celebration of friends’ birthdays online helped to feel that we were not alone.
“On the one hand, thanks to social media, we feel connected to others and gain support,” says behavior and development specialist Christine Gernon. On the other hand, they do contain a lot of false information that can be misleading and increase fears. And comparing yourself with unattainable ideals has never done anyone any good.”
In order to continue to continue to feel community, belonging, and at the same time protect yourself from negative emotions, he advises to carefully approach what you read and watch. Social media algorithms will give you content that is similar in topic to what you were looking for. Therefore, do not get hung up on news alone – let inspiring quotes, funny videos or extraordinary culinary recipes appear in your feed.
Focus on the positive
“Now it’s definitely not worth denying, let alone trying to suppress “bad” feelings in yourself: fear, anxiety, uncertainty about the future,” says social worker Jessica Meister. “The sooner you accept them, the sooner you can deal with them.”
Trying to “squeeze” optimism and gratitude out of yourself at any cost is a sure way to “toxic positivity” that harms your mental state.
Take your mind off problems with different activities
There is nothing wrong with distraction in itself – on the contrary, it is even useful to dilute monotonous affairs with something. But by trying to stay busy all the time, we won’t be able to solve every problem.
“It is impossible to deceive the body, make it believe that everything is in order with us,” Meister is sure. – It is worth starting to listen to the state, to follow thoughts and emotions without judgment, just to allow them to be. Meditation will help you learn how to be at peace.”
Saying “yes” to all possibilities
We’ve been told for a long time that it’s important to stay open to new opportunities and connections, but why say yes if you don’t want to? Hardly. Looks like it’s time to learn how to say “no”.
“It is useful to refuse others in those cases when everything inside resists the offer, even if the brain says that we must agree,” says psychotherapist Hillary Schoninger. She advises to listen to yourself and do what you want, and not what we think should be done.
Find any therapist
The key word here is “any”. Therapy as such is now shown to many of us. But it is very important to find a specialist with whom you will be comfortable, only then the joint work will bear fruit. Schoninger advises to spend time looking and not stop at the first option that comes across (unless, of course, you immediately understand that this is the right one).
“Fortunately, there are now all the possibilities for this,” she notes. – On the Internet you will find many services for finding psychologists and psychotherapists. You can meet with specialists online without wasting time on the road and without exposing yourself to the risk of contracting the coronavirus.”
If the financial situation does not allow you to apply for paid services, you can start with the city’s psychological services: usually the first few consultations are free.