The desire to have a harmonious sexual relationship with a partner is a natural need of every person. But very often during the intimate process, women cannot fully open up. Our brain plays an important role here. How to achieve an orgasm and what to do if you don’t experience it, says Anton Antonov, a clinical psychologist and specialist in psychosomatics.
Conventionally, we can distinguish two groups of reasons that prevent us from enjoying sexual relationships: physiological and psychological.
The first is related to the second, because the body follows the commands of the brain, and not vice versa. It is important to consider that the female ability to experience an orgasm in comparison with the male one is much more dependent on the psychological state.
Physiology of sensations
There is an opinion that the ability to experience orgasm depends on the tone of the muscles of the pelvic floor. Indeed, working with intimate muscles can help a woman get closer to her desired goal. There are many techniques for this, for example, the famous Kegel exercises. Intimate training allows you to better control the movements of both partners during intercourse and increase sensitivity.
Sexual life becomes brighter due to new sensations. In addition, such skills should not be neglected in terms of women’s health. Exercise requires regularity, however, as well as classes in the gym. However, sometimes the problem goes much deeper.
Psychosomatics and sex
Often the reasons that a woman does not get relaxation in bed are not physiological, but psychological. Experts in psychosomatics associate the lack of orgasm with a ban on femininity.
For example, you forbid yourself to show yourself as a woman, because the brain has a “children are dangerous” setting. Perhaps you have nothing to support the child, or you do not trust your partner. Or maybe your family treated children badly, and you are afraid that you will not cope.
Another common attitude is «sex is dangerous.» If you had a traumatic experience, for example, rape, abuse — your father beat your mother or you, then the body, at the suggestion of the brain, forms a ban on femininity, on sexual pleasure.
The body is wisely arranged: it will protect us from danger. Even if there is no real threat, the brain finds «reminders» of the past, but they prevent us from enjoying sex in the present. In this case, it makes sense to work with a specialist in psychosomatics or a psychologist.
If sex was forbidden in the family, and the mother was closed and cold, then the child learned this model of behavior. Then, already becoming an adult, he suppresses his sexuality and cannot openly demonstrate his desires, because they seem dirty and shameful to him.
sexual states
How to get around the installations that prevent you from making sex more sensual and exciting? Ask yourself now: «Can I be feminine?»
If inside your head sounds «no», ask yourself the question — what are you afraid of? Try to «get to the bottom» of the causes of fear. What can happen if I am feminine? What happens if I have an orgasm? What happens if I open up to a man? What happens if I choose the wrong man for sex?
By understanding the reasons, you will relieve tension and remove powerful blocks in your body. This means that you can open up more to your partner and experience an orgasm, if you dream about it.
fool your brain
The brain doesn’t care if the action is real or imaginary. The more you imagine in great detail the moment of getting an orgasm with a partner, the more the brain believes you and subsequently begins to help the body.
Try to feel the pre-orgasmic state with every cell of the body, get used to the situation. Scroll through the most explicit pictures step by step in your head and listen to how your body responds. Each time, the sensations will become more intense, and the visualization itself will be easier. This is a good way to get in touch with yourself.
By imagining moments of release, you get your brain used to the idea that it is achievable. You can also imagine something exciting during intimacy, if that gives you pleasure.
And when the body and brain act in conjunction, pleasure will not keep you waiting.