Platonic love – definition, types of platonic love. What is platonic love?

Platonic love is commonly understood love sublime, idealized, free from sensual and sexual aspects. In platonic love, the spiritual bond is the most important, while the bodily issues are basically absent.

Where does the idea of ​​platonic love come from?

The idea of ​​platonic love comes from the writings of the Greek philosopher Plato. In one of his works, in the dialogue “Feast”, participants in the discussion on love express different views on the essence of this feeling. At the end, Socrates takes the floor, referring to the teachings given to him by the philosopher Deotyma. According to her views, shared by both Socrates and Plato himself, love is gradual.

The lowest level is body love, i.e. Eros, which is born through the smell (here you can see a similarity to today’s views of specialists as to the operation of male and female pheromones), then by getting to know many beautiful bodies, you get to know the idea of ​​Beauty, which according to both Deotyma and Plato is more spiritual than carnal. This leads the adept to want to know the spiritual aspect of the relationship, to want to associate more with the partner’s soul than with his (her) physical body. We are talking here about love called by Plato, Philos, or friendship, a feeling that is no longer accompanied by desire. Knowing the spiritual aspect leads to getting to know the idea of ​​Good, the highest idea in the hierarchy established by Plato.

According to Plato, the lowest form of love is sensual love between a man and a woman. One step higher is carnal love between men. The next level is spiritual love (between partners of any gender). However, according to Plato, spiritual love is only a stage of development leading to the highest love, that is, directed to the eternal ideas of Beauty and Good. The highest love was called Agape by Plato and it was a selfless and devotional love. It is love for another human being, but always in relation to God – the Absolute. In common discourse, the expression platonic love has been used to describe a love that transcends corporeality.

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What is platonic love?

According to the accepted convention, platonic love has only a spiritual dimension, not a sexual or sensual one. Sometimes it is also said of platonic love in the case of one-sided feeling, when the other person has no idea that he has become the object of someone else’s feelings. This may be the case when a teenager falls in love with a teacher or an idol. It is assumed that platonic love plays out more in the world of dreams and fantasies than in the real, physical, sensual world.

However, if we want to give the expression platonic love a meaning closer to the views of the philosopher from whose writings this term is derived, this kind of feeling should really apply to two people who, fully aware of their choice, focus on the spiritual aspects of their relationship, while ignoring the bodily and sexual aspects considering it not so much invalid as making it impossible to remain on a higher level of loving. Plato distinguished between erotic (sensual) love and love in the sense of Agape – disinterested, one whose center is a feeling for the Absolute, transferred to another human being, which is a reflection of this idea. Platonic love properly understood is therefore a conscious choice to love in the sense of Agape.

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Types of platonic love

Platonic love can connect two people who do not have physical contact with each other because they live in different, sometimes very distant places, and they contact mainly via the Internet. The basis of such a relationship is a strong emotional bond, but there is no physical aspect. It should be noted, however, that not every long-distance feeling is a platonic love – due to the current technology, a couple who have never met in the physical world may have some kind of erotic contact with each other. As with one-sided love, distance love can frustrate one or both sides of the feeling.

Platonic love can also happen between married people – these are the so-called white marriages, i.e. couples who share a feeling, but do not realize it in the form of sexual contact. Despite the apparent consent to such an arrangement, white marriages often cause frustration on one side of the relationship.

We can also talk about platonic love in the case of family members, i.e. parents, sister, brother or grandparents. It is a kind of a very specific and the most “pure” variety of platonic love, because it lacks sex drive and is full of altruism.

It seems that platonic love in the proper sense of the word, leading to the knowledge of the Absolute and bringing satisfaction to both sides, is a fairly rare phenomenon.

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Does platonic love have a real chance of surviving?

Depends on what kind of platonic love you’re talking about. In the case of love between family members, of course, but in the case of, for example, a teenager’s feelings for his idol, certainly not.

When it comes to platonic love between two people who are separated by a long distance, it must be said that it is possible, assuming, however, that this form of relationship will not become a burden for them and they will not start to focus on the fact that the joint relationship “in real life” are not possible. The same applies to platonic love for a person with whom we come into contact on a daily basis, but for some reason we cannot relate to it. The answer is also ambiguous in the case of the so-called white married couples who also have problems.

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Who is prone to platonic love?

In the case of platonic love, people who have problems with shyness and are unable to make new contacts may be susceptible to it. People who do not spend time with others, often hanging out in their homes, watching movies with their favorite actor. The longer this goes on, the more difficult it will be for such people to fall in love with the real world trying to find the qualities of their “platonic love” in the other person.

The meaning of platonic love

Admittedly, platonic love, whether it ends well or badly, can play an important role in a person’s life, affecting him emotionally, socially and physically. Research suggests that platonic love can help you develop healthy romantic relationships. Platonic friendships can teach communication, compromise and boundaries, all important aspects of a romantic relationship. Not to mention the ordinary stories of people marrying their best friends.

The myth of platonic love

Plato gave his name to Platonic love (platonic love), but according to University of Manchester researcher Dr. Jay Kennedy, the ancient Greek philosopher never advocated love without sex. Research by an English historian shows that Plato was not at all an advocate of Platonic love, rather he insisted on the middle path. For him, morality meant moderation. He wanted people to avoid both promiscuity and abstinence. According to the researcher, Plato was simply misunderstood and also in his contemporary times celebrated eroticism, homosexuality and shared the Greek view that naked bodies are beautiful, which is why his views are debated to this day.

The term “Platonic love” was coined only 500 years ago. In the Renaissance, postponing sex was an important step towards women’s equality; The Queen of England even commissioned performances to spread the idea. At a time when women were treated as slaves or “childbearing machines,” Platonic love meant longer courtship and delaying the dangers of childbirth.

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Platonic love and its reflection in pop culture and literature

Platonic love has become so entrenched in human history and thinking that it has become a common theme in culture over hundreds of years. Platonic love appeared in the literature of the Renaissance, for example in the works of such authors as Marsilio Ficino (Delia, the object of the highest virtue) or Francesco Petrarch (Sonnets to Laura). It should be noted here that although the Renaissance was very much modeled on the ideas of the great philosopher, this feeling was adapted by the contemporary artists to the Christian worldview. However, the heyday of platonic love was yet to come and the pre-romantic and romantic era. Over the years, this concept has been used by literary, film and music artists.

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