Dear working mothers, your main task is not to worry, but to be an example to your children, to be healthy and cheerful. Such a life sets a better example for your children than lengthy training programs and conversations. Children do and get into the habit exactly what you do, and not what you say.
“The laws of Lycurgus were not written down. In his opinion, everything that is important and necessary for the happiness of the state should become part of the custom and way of life of citizens from early childhood. That is why the main attention of the legislator was turned to the upbringing of children. “Lycurgus believed that the care of children should begin with the care of mothers. A woman should be healthy and cheerful. Only then will her children be strong and strong.”
You need to plan all the actions: from work to household trifles. Even calls to your children and time to worry is also time that needs to be considered and planned. If something happened, then it ALREADY happened, you can do NOTHING. Therefore, calmly do what is planned.
An excellent example from the life of Alla Borisovna Pugacheva: when she was told about the death of her mother, she stood backstage and was about to go on stage. A.B. Then she said: “I didn’t hear anything. You will tell me about this after the end of the concert. And went to work.
In fact, when you have made some commitments, they must be fulfilled. You will be able to experience personal problems later, at the strictly allotted time for this, with gusto, to the full depth and breadth. Again, the planned work, and most importantly its result, distracts from personal troubles and problems that exist in the life of every living person.
Possible questions (those that I have already met):
1. What to do when the child is very small?
1.1. You need to plan for having children. For example, I passed the last test in the 4th year of the State University with contractions, I came to the test with a bag for sending to the hospital. First — business, then everything else :). I gave birth to my third child during the Christmas holidays. Just plan.
1.2. Give yourself and your child a month to establish contact with each other, with the family. Those. try not to work for the first month after giving birth. This will allow your baby to gain strength, confidence, and you will get to know his character, to which you will then adapt.
1.3. Until the child is 4 months old, you can work during the daytime.
1.4. After 4 months, you can use the night for work, sleep with the child during the day and do household chores.
1.5. After a year, 1,5 years, you can hire a nanny for daytime hours.
1.6. If your child «does not let» you work, you need to work on yourself. Because a calm, confident mother is a calm, confident child. It doesn’t happen otherwise.
In my opinion, maternity leave is a great evil for a huge number of women. Families often break up during this time. The reasons are very simple: a woman ceases to look good, both in the last stages of pregnancy and after the birth of a child. Accordingly, ceases to be attractive to her husband; the woman becomes stupefied, narrows her world down to the contemplation of the contents of a diaper; the woman becomes irritable.
A typical mistake that is made by women is that they try to force their husband to help with the baby. To this day, I am occupied with an adequate answer to the question: “Why require my husband to help in washing diapers, and other typically maternal concerns?” To this day, I hear a typical response from women: «It’s hard for me to help.» A very weak and destructive decision to force a husband to help with a child. In my opinion, the decision to have a child belongs entirely to the woman. And a woman should be aware that the chores will fall on her shoulders. And again, no need to pretend to be a victim. After all, the birth of children and caring for a baby is a typically maternal function, but not a male one. There is an opinion in my family: life is unpredictable, so give birth to exactly as many children as you can yourself, if you have something to grow and educate. If there is not enough strength, then the child is born of stupidity. If a husband sees a wrapped up wife, a screaming child, who is also shoved into his arms, God forbid, also dirty, then he simply ceases to navigate reality.
2. What to do when the child is sick?
2.1. Children under 5 years old rarely get sick just like that. Usually (I mean genetically healthy children), they use the disease as a manipulation to get even more attention. This is normal for the development of the child, while he checks the world and himself on the boundaries of what is permitted. Therefore, the recommendation is simple — to treat without fanaticism, without tantrums, while doing the planned work. The child very quickly understands that he is sick or not, in any case, the mother does her planned business.
2.2. It is important to immediately negotiate with the child (perhaps already from a year old) that he is certainly important, but he does not make up his entire mother’s life. Mom has her own plans.
3. What to do when you get sick yourself?
3.1. If you correctly distributed your energy, you have no reason to get sick. Just remember that illness is a signal from the body to your wrong actions.
3.2. If illness is your favorite neurosis for stress and other external influences, you need to plan tough meetings even more carefully.
3.3. In general, always remember that if the body decided to “fuck you out”, you simply overloaded yourself. Those of you who are not particularly busy and nevertheless get sick — this is from laziness and from a lack of purpose. People who have a goal usually have no time to get sick.
4. What to do when the family does not share your plans, considers that they are the most important for me, etc.?
4.1. First of all, you need to prove your right to your personal plans. Prove results.
4.2. Negotiate with family. Usually, this question is asked by people who use their loved ones as a shield to protect their laziness, inertia, cowardice, etc.
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