Studying at school is not the only way to give a child an education. Some parents choose to teach their children on their own. Should we follow their example?
We talked to those who consider home education to be the best alternative to classical education. How to organize homeschooling and what should parents remember before deciding to drop out of school?
A special case
“I have three children and they are all homeschooled. The middle son is from the second grade, the eldest is from the seventh, and the youngest daughter has not been at school for a single day at all, – says Natalia Khmelik, journalist, translator, mother of three adult children and grandmother of one granddaughter. – It started with the fact that I, while working in a newspaper, wrote a sharp article: school is now a profanity, being there is traumatic psychologically and sometimes physically, and it’s time for us, parents, to take matters into our own hands.
After the publication, I was found by a man who was a pioneer of family education in Russia – Igor Moiseevich Chapkovsky. He suggested: let’s help each other teach our children. You know English well – you will teach mine the language, and I, a graduate of the Mekhmat, will teach your mathematics. My husband and I really liked this idea, the children too.
I remember I asked the middle one: “Do you want to study at home?” – he opened his eyes wide: “Is it possible ?!” I was called to school every other day, he stood there on his ears. And he began to study at home – he went into textbooks with his head: just don’t interfere! As a result, he received a certificate at the age of 14. The youngest daughter studied only at home and mastered the entire program by the age of 15. All three children easily entered Moscow State University: the eldest at the Faculty of Computational Mathematics and Cybernetics, the middle one at the Faculty of Law, and the daughter at the Faculty of Psychology.”
With family education, the burden on parents greatly increases, especially at first: you need to organize the process, schedule
“What is good about family education? School often extinguishes the child’s desire to learn, – continues Natalia Khmelik. – But there are no idlers by nature. The child definitely wants something, he is interested in something. And we need to understand and use it. Or figure out how to get interested. Here the daughter was not given calligraphy. She was offered: come on, like a Chinese, you will write in ink on whatman paper. So it was impossible to drag her away from this drawing paper! And this exercise develops motor skills no worse than calligraphy.
Family education can be built on the basis of the individuality of the child. The middle son had such an algorithm: now I will take a course in mathematics, then in geography. And the eldest and daughter were more suitable for the usual system of lessons. As for communication with peers, it was enough even without school: they went to circles, the daughter was seriously engaged in rowing. The house was full of their friends all the time.
Of course, with family education, the burden on parents greatly increases, especially at first: you need to organize the process, think over plans, and so on. And most importantly, there is no one else to blame, now you are responsible for everything.
If you chose homeschooling
“The right of a parent to choose the form of education for their child, including family education, is enshrined in the Law on Education. True, there are only 2% of families who have chosen family education in Moscow. And this is an individual case each time,” says Natalya Evsikova, developmental and school psychologist, lecturer at the Institute of Practical Psychology at the Higher School of Economics. – It happens that a child is seriously involved in music or sports and he does not have time to go to school. Sometimes homeschooling is due to health problems. And in some cases, these are ideological decisions related to religious or worldview attitudes.
You need to really assess your capabilities. As a rule, the main teacher at home is the mother.
In any case, when choosing homeschooling, parents must solve three main problems.
1. Understand your choice.
The reason may lie in their own negative experiences experienced in childhood. Then the adult decides: my child should not go through this. Acts out his own unfortunate plot – but what does the child have to do with it? This is a different person, he lives in a different time, in a different environment. The decision vector cannot be directed back to the past, it must be directed forward.
2. Make sure that the child is not opposed to the school.
It is not known how life will turn out, he may still have to return to school, and with a negative attitude, adaptation will be difficult.
3. Provide the child with an environment for development.
In elementary school, perhaps the company of his parents is enough for him. But in adolescence, communication with peers becomes the main thing. Through this communication, he builds an image of himself: what he is, what qualities he possesses, what is good in him, what is bad. A family, even a large one with many children, cannot provide this: there are other relationships, other roles. When deciding to withdraw a child from school, parents take on a huge responsibility not only for the education of the child; they must do everything so that the child is not deprived socially.
4. Realistically evaluate your capabilities.
As a rule, the main teacher is the mother. To cope with this role, she must be a capable organizer and a positive person who will not be annoyed if the child does not know something or does not immediately grasp something.
5. And of course, find out what the child himself wants.
If he wants to go to school, this must be taken into account.