Contents
Sex can protect us from excessive stress, which lowers our desire for sex. Vicious circle? They can be stopped as long as we learn to get out of the stress zone and enjoy sex.
- Successful sex gives us a sense of bliss, relaxation, fulfillment, for which is the responsibility of a unique mixture of hormones that are released during its practice
- Researchers at the University of Zurich have found that people who have more physical contact – from holding hands to having sex – have lower saliva cortisol levels. Read: Feel less stressed
- Sex also improves the quality of sleep, helps relieve pain, and even … increases our intelligence
- ARTICLE FROM MAGAZINE: NEWSWEEK ZDROWIE 4/2020
- More information on interesting information can be found on the Onet homepage.
After a successful sex, we are relaxed and relaxed as after a relaxation training, sauna or massage. The level of anxiety decreases, and self-esteem increases. Inner well-being rises and we radiate. It is the result of many factors, but it is initiated by pheromones, i.e. the smell of your partner. Then follows a long list of hormones, opened by phenylethylamine – being in love, and oxytocin – attachment (to a partner, to a child, because it is also released during feeding). This is our hormonal love cocktail.
– Good sex is bond-forming, it makes a person feel needed – says Dr. Beata Wróbel, obstetrician-gynecologist and sexologist, author (together with the journalist Aneta Borowiec) of the book “The Art of Femininity”. – And often this is the feeling we lack to be fully happy and have a positive attitude towards the whole world.
- I advise my patients: have sex, please! Preferably for a lifetime.
Effective buffer
Intimate close-ups can become our private anti-crisis shield as they help to resist the effects of stress.
Researchers from the University of Zurich measured the cortisol levels of 51 couples and compared it with the time they spend on intimacy and the quality of these relationships. They found that people who have more physical contact – from holding hands to having sex – have lower levels of cortisol in their saliva.
It also turned out that deep intimate relationships create a kind of anti-stress buffer at work as well. No wonder then that in a progressive Sweden, which cares about well-being and balance in life, Erik Muskos – councilor of the city of Overtornea, requested that each employee should have an hourly paid break from work every day, which he would use to … return to home and having intercourse with your partner. According to the councilor, this would have a positive impact on the improvement of interpersonal relations. However, the proposal was not accepted.
What does sex do for us?
- reduces the level of perceived stress and anxiety;
- increases the level of key antibodies in the body, increases immunity;
- has a positive effect on the heart;
- lowers blood pressure;
- engages various muscle groups, incl. pelvic floor muscles, which prevents their lowering and problems (in women and men!) such as urinary incontinence, constipation;
- helps to burn calories (each minute of the ratio is approx. 5 calories less);
- improves the quality of sleep;
- relieves pain;
- increases intelligence
Close closer closest…
– Sex is a powerful tool, it has enormous potential to build relationships between people – confirms Dr. Beata Wróbel. – But it is not a separate act, but one of the elements of our everyday life. Preparation for sex lasts all day, 24 hours a day. All elements of being together should be consistent, first of all, you need to open up to the joy of being together. An intimate close-up may consist of a smile, erotic conversation, massage, caressing, stroking. Anything that gives us erotic pleasure.
– This is closeness and longing for your partner’s body. However, in order for our senses to open to sexuality and to want to experience the presence of another human being, we need desire, says Dr. Wróbel.
- What to eat to feel like sex? The greatest aphrodisiacs
And it is the sexual desire disorders that are now the most common reason for patients to see a sexologist. Why? As we are stressed and tired, our cortisol levels increase. Chronic stress can also lead to an increase in the level of prolactin, a hormone that, together with dopamine, creates a mechanism that controls sexual tension. Dopamine has a stimulating effect at the beginning of the act. Prolactin, on the contrary, quenches the desire.
– Tired sensory organs do not perceive sexual arousal so effectively, the dominant of which is the sense of smell, but also sight and hearing, and touch all over the body – says Dr. Wróbel. The tired brain also refuses to accept those lovable stimuli that it could translate into sexual arousal.
Lust is very hard to unlock. – It is not possible to give a pill or order any relaxing treatments and then the desire will return. Everyone has to do it themselves. Take a step, two, three backwards and remember who he is as a sexual being. Who is in a relationship, in a relationship. And make a decision to improve – explains the expert.
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Wake up your body and your senses will wake up
Although stress reduces the desire to have sex, if we gradually free our body, the mind will follow it. We should open ourselves to the joy of being with other people. How to do this when many people theoretically want sex, but not in practice. Their body tightens as their partner initiates a rapprochement. – It is very often the case that when people put themselves in the hands of a masseur, they can relax their body with full confidence, because they know that the goal will not be sexual contact. However, when they are with a partner and this contact “threatens” them, they stiffen – admits Beata Wróbel.
This is because when we fantasize about sex, we are left alone with ourselves and we get it right in our head. – We allow only the fragments we want there. And yet we do sex with the body. And there is no such an on / off switch that I dream now and everything is fine. And when I meet my partner physically, I stiffen, because he doesn’t touch me like that, because my body aches from this closeness – says Dr. Wróbel.
Every moment you enjoy together can be a kind of foreplay. The researchers found that couples who spend a lot of time hugging and kissing have lower levels of stress hormones in the body. Often times, it’s important to just be there for your partner and show support. Just talking lowers our anxiety levels. And it doesn’t have to end with sex. A lot happens between words because the word is also sexual. We begin to reveal our needs, describe them, the level of trust increases and relationships tighten.
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– It all depends on whether we will try to be with each other and get to know each other again. Try to talk about so-called difficult topics. To say how I feel, what my dreams are, even though my voice often gets stuck in my throat because we have forgotten how to talk to each other – explains the sexologist.
- Love is always healthy. Only how we love can be healthy or unhealthy
Remember that the level of our desire for sex is not constant due to fluctuations in hormone levels. In women, it changes every month – it decreases and increases with the menstrual cycle. Hormonal changes, fluctuations in estrogen and progesterone mean that at different times in the cycle, women may be more or less willing to have sex. It is – as the sexologist points out – an individual and natural matter.
Likewise, during the menopause, the desire for sex generally rises significantly in the pre-menopausal period and then declines. Physiological changes and hormonal balance are responsible for its reduction. Various psychological and cultural factors also come into play in every stage of our lives, from puberty to menopause.
The king of antibodies
Sexual experiences are very important to our health. Sex increases the levels of key antibodies in the body. Researchers from the Wilkes-Barre University in Pennsylvania have found that if we grow it at least once a week, the level of immunoglobulin A (IgA) increases by as much as 30 percent. Thanks to it, the body protects itself against the penetration of bacteria, viruses and food particles and we are less exposed to infections. Sex also lowers blood pressure and “exercises” various muscles. In order to enjoy good sexual condition at any age, we should not only take care of the body and its vitality, but also redefine our own sexuality.
- Controlling, accounting, jealousy. What roles do we play in relationships?
– Define what we want to do, what is exciting for us at a given moment in our lives – says Dr. Beata Wróbel. – With age, not only our capabilities change, but also preferences. It is good to follow them – says Beata Wróbel.
However, proximity is always the key. Chrisanna Northrup, Pepper Schwartz and James Witte conducted a 24-question relationship survey among respondents in 1300 countries. From the analysis of 70 thousand. The answers (!) show that the happiest in relationships are those who honestly say “I love you” every day. They hug and sleep naked. They address each other by diminutives or names of animals. They hold hands and go on dates all the time.
Substantive consultation:
Beata Wróbel, MD, PhD, obstetrician-gynecologist, sexologist. He cooperates with the Medical University of Silesia. She is a member of the Team for the Treatment of Sex Development Disorders. Author and co-author of pioneering research in the field of gynecological sexology. Winner of the award of the joint Gynecological, Urological and Sexological Scientific Societies for special contribution to the interdisciplinary development of these sciences.
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