The digital age is making its own adjustments to the relationship of the two. Now we are never alone with each other – our friends from social networks are invisibly present nearby. Isn’t it time to go back to old-fashioned love, asks columnist Anthony D’Ambrosio.
Morning. The alarm clock chirps. You open your eyes, and at the same moment the brain starts its usual race. Meetings, calls, deadlines… what else is there for today?
Why is there always so much to do and so little time to do everything? You grab your phone and start scrolling through your messages on your way to the bathroom. You are already awake – at least half.
And she is still sleeping. Nevertheless, you text her: “Good morning, baby. Have a wonderful day.”
There are two messages in this phrase. You let her know that the first thing you think about when you wake up is her. And, more importantly, she must understand that no matter how important things you do, no matter how stressful your day is, she and only she comes first for you.
Sounds great, but it’s not true.
Instead of thinking about her, you go to Instagram or Facebook, where you curiously study the lives of strangers. Perhaps you’ll send her a link on your way to work.
Relationships today lack purpose. People “meet”, but what does this mean and in general – does it mean at least something? Go out together somewhere to “hang out” twice a month? Chat all day? Kissing on every corner? Something is lost. Why are our relationships deteriorating?
Relationships grow from mutual understanding. We reserve the deepest feelings for the one we love – and how can we never show them? But somehow we take for granted what is unacceptable. For example, sitting next to each other at the dinner table, we keep our phones close at hand and, while talking, we read or continuously post something on social networks.
Cheating actually causes a lot more damage than physical infidelity.
You know what’s the worst here? The fact that we, the whole society, agreed to consider the norm of the relationship in which we cheat on a friend every day.
You think the old fashioned way that cheating is a physical act, sex with someone else. That deeply intimate situation when the person you love and with whom your life is connected enters into a relationship with someone else.
Such betrayal destroys trust. But think for a moment about the concept itself. Of course, sex with another is cheating, perhaps the most traumatic of all. But did it ever occur to you that we are already being deceived every day? We lack understanding, attention, passion, intimacy and even love. Why do we think that this is normal, why do we agree to this inferior relationship?
After all, this deception actually causes much more damage than physical betrayal. You love a person with all your heart, but you have to beg for his or her attention.
You watch him or her constantly update statuses or post photos, counting on comments from strangers.
We must be vulnerable and free. But all this is impossible if we are consumed by someone else’s life.
Take a moment to tell her how beautiful she is. Call her after work and tell her: “You have half an hour to change and restore beauty. I’ll drop by and take you to some amazing place.”
Try. Gotta give old-fashioned love a chance to come back. Everything that made her up cannot be allowed to go away forever: when two people hold hands, when he opens the car door, leans over and takes her in his arms, when he sends her flowers just to see her smile in response.
We must become children again when we fall in love.
We must be vulnerable and free. But all this is impossible if we are too absorbed in the lives of strangers.
Let’s focus on each other. In the end, this is the main thing that we have in life.
Appreciate her and show her how much she means to you. More importantly, put your phone away and stay in touch with the person sitting across from you.