Doctor of Tibetan medicine Phuntsog Wangmo came to Moscow for a few days, but still found time to answer our questions. First of all, of course, we were worried about relationships – with other people and with ourselves.
Dr. Phuntsog Wangmo graduated from the University School of Traditional Medicine in Lhasa (Tibet) in 1988 and completed a fellowship program there (1983-1990).
For 4 years she underwent clinical training with the outstanding doctor of Tibet Khenpo Troru Tsennam. Until 1996, she also worked at the Shang Shung* Institute in Italy, where she taught seminars on Tibetan medicine.
From 1996 to the present, Dr. Phuntsog Wangmo has been the coordinator of the ASIA project for the development of the Gamtog Hospital in Tibet.
Dr. Wangmo currently heads the School of Tibetan Medicine at the Shang Shung Institute in the United States.
Psychologies: What do you think about love?
Puncog Vangmo: All sentient beings, not just humans, need love!
Why are there so many difficulties associated with love?
P. V .: Difficulties arise because we are not ready for change. If we take a man and a woman, then when we meet and fall in love, there is acceptance of each other. But gradually people change, and relationships between them change. Life is full of impermanence, we cannot expect that what started once will always remain as it is now.
What is the most important thing for a couple relationship?
P. V .: Confidence. To maintain good relationships in the family, in marriage or with your partner and friend, you need to trust each other, this is very important. Trust means that both must fulfill their obligations and do what their partner expects of them. Sometimes it starts to seem to us that the partner is doing something wrong without us somewhere out there, and sometimes it is, and sometimes it’s just our thoughts, but in any case, problems arise in marriage. Therefore, it is important to keep your promises, not to make the other worry. And no matter what happens, you make a commitment to be together.
Read more:
- Tao lessons
What is the most dangerous time in a couple’s life?
P. V .: In Western countries, it seems to me, a lot of divorces happen when spouses approach the age of 50. After 45 years, a woman changes, menopause occurs, her hormonal levels change, and she becomes more emotional, experiences more stress, this is reflected in her behavior. And I see many couples breaking up at this age, and many resorting to antidepressants in an attempt to cope with their condition. But this is not a very good solution. If you accept the situation, then you see that nothing special and dangerous is happening, it’s just that both you and your husband are changing the combination of elements in the body. Eat nutritious, warm foods and try to get support from your family.
That is, from a partner?
P. V .: From a partner first. But the family is not only a partner, but also all relatives. Children, brothers, sisters, parents, grandparents. When someone is angry or depressed, it means that they feel bad, and the family should be more kind, supportive, gentle and loving towards this person. This is the meaning of the family. If a wife or husband rejects another, then this other may end up in the hospital, but hospitals do not help much, I was convinced of this when I worked with people with mental disorders.
Read more:
- Lama Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche: “Happiness lives in each of us”
How to keep yourself in good shape?
P. V .: It is useful to drink a glass of hot water with a spoon of honey every morning to cleanse your body, it is good for bones and skin. It is helpful to follow a diet that suits your constitution and season. However, remember that the most powerful thing is your mind. The mind is the king and the body is its servant. If you are eating the healthiest food in the world, but your mind is not at peace, that food will not help you. The mind should be humble and peaceful.
If we do not feel modesty and peace, where can we get these qualities?
P. V .: You need to understand from the very beginning that everything changes, everything is impermanent, including your body. Your power, wealth, fame, and even this nature and the world around us are fickle, all this is fickle. The only constant thing is consciousness. Knowing this, we try to give value to what is most important.
Read more:
- “To own the energy of peace”
And what is the most important thing?
P. V .: Humanity. Let’s take the life of a businessman as an example. Everything is impermanent in business, business is the most impermanent thing in the world in this world. Your business is rising, developing, try to restrain your jubilation. When something grows rapidly, it is a sign that it will soon begin to wither. Business growth is also the cause of decline. Keep this in mind, but when the decline comes, don’t worry. This is a sign that you have acquired certain abilities and dignity. Keep this dignity, use your abilities, show your human qualities.
How to manifest them?
P. V .: Help other beings. If you cannot help, then try not to harm. Any creature, not just humans. If you have this quality, you will be at peace and happy.
Sometimes it’s hard to cope with age changes …
P. V .: The same applies to beauty. Everything passes, our beauty changes. Look at nature: summer has the beauty of summer, followed by autumn, and she is also beautiful, but she has a different beauty. In winter there is the beauty of winter. And in the spring – the beauty of spring. Likewise, each age has its own beauty. As you get older, you don’t have to pretend that you are a teenager. There is another beauty in you. But the ultimate beauty is in your mind. Because physical beauty changes, but inner beauty and wealth remain the same. Inner knowledge always remains, and even if you die, your knowledge, your inner beauty is preserved for other generations. So remember that everything is impermanent and try to be harmonious and contented. Beauty and wealth are never enough, only when you say “enough!” – then it will be enough.
Read more:
- “To live in the present, you need to question the Western way of thinking”
What can we do when we feel sad or lonely?
P. V .: If it is mainly a state of the body, then warm food, sweet, sour and salty tastes can improve the mood. If this is more related to the state of mind, then in a moment of loneliness you need to look for how you can be useful to others. Many people think: “I can’t do anything, nobody needs me, I’m useless, I can’t help anyone.” But actually you can do a lot! Some can help others on a physical level, some with their voice, some with their talents or abilities, and some with wealth. And someone can wish, just wish that everything was fine with other people. Others need it! You need to learn to understand this, and this is the best cure for loneliness.
* The Shang Shung Institute for Tibetan Studies was founded in 1989 by Chögyal Namkhai Norbu and inaugurated in 1990 at Merigar by His Holiness the XNUMXth Dalai Lama.
To learn more:
Website of the School of Tibetan Medicine
tibetanmedicineschool.ru