Philosophical tales (N.I. Kozlov)

This book was born under the star of my dear Miracle. She is dedicated to her with love.

To the second edition

The biggest surprise for me after the release of the book was letters from readers: a huge flow of letters with sincere warmth and gratitude. I couldn’t believe it: gratitude for all these harshness, for prickly, on the verge of a foul, humor and injections on every page! But, apparently, the reader had the wisdom to see behind the thorns an invitation to smile together, and behind the backhanded wording — trust in him and sincere pain for our common human stupidities. You have seen it. Thank you.

True, reliable information also reached me that one of the readers demanded to buy up the entire circulation — precisely in order to destroy it. All.

• As a form of attention, this is also pleasant.

However, most often letters came from others. For example, things like this:

Good afternoon, Nikolai Ivanovich!

I continue to read your book (slowly).

How clear, understandable, simple, complex, fascinating, witty, fun, talented — and unexpected for me personally. I was looking for something for my soul in the most serious teachings, which have everything: colossal experience — knowledge — wisdom — love — the path to the Light, but for some reason this path was always with anguish and at the limit of human capabilities …

You also have a path to the Light, and it is also not easy. But your path is through joy!

To the Light — through Joy, not through Suffering, that’s what shocked me!

And how good it is in my heart! This book came to me just in time, thank you, life!

Natalya G.

Also drawings came to me. Light!

They were sent by a tired hostess and a worried mother of three wonderful children. And thus the book had an artist:

Irinushka, thank you for the smiles and the Sun.

To the third edition

Like any serious philosophical work, this book was originally intended for a very select circle of readers, namely sensible and peppy humor and spirit. Therefore, the XNUMXth edition of the second edition, which quickly sold out, was undoubtedly a major compliment to our readership.

• This means that living people have not yet died out.

Moreover, all the pleasant reasons have appeared to be aware of oneself as a trendsetter in printing fashion, since now a variety of authors are releasing their books with covers “under Kozlov” and even with such designed

• comments. With such a point, font and slope.

The flow of readers’ letters is not weakening, I apologize in advance for the rare answers. I can answer half of the letters in bulk, because every second letter repeats with a refrain: “Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your wonderful book, I really liked it, although I disagree with many things in it.” I answer: “From the bottom of my heart, I don’t agree with many things in this book either, but I still like it.”

Women write a lot. I already understood that if a feminist movement unfolds in Russia, then Kozlov will undoubtedly be its founder. But how? Many calmly slumbering women, having read his Books, were indignant so vehemently that they began to write large articles and small books refuting him. The fate of a Woman demanding respect has become their fate. And all thanks to what?

• Kozlov’s books.

Well, good. Using the opportunity, I wholeheartedly hug all my readers and writers, regretting that only in absentia. I’m always ready to blame bad men with them, especially since I know that women’s letters are combative, but personal meetings are sincere.

• Genre rules?

What’s new in this third edition?

Many small additions and small inserts, from serious news — «Harmful Lectures on Science». Even more serious news is that my views have already changed (perhaps unfortunately) on many things, but more on that in the next book.

• What is the name of? «The True Truth, or a Textbook for a Psychologist on Life.» About what? About life and not only sincere. About the Sinton Club, that is, also about life, and about psychologists, that is, about the attitude to life.

The most pleasant thing for me in this third edition is new pictures from Ira Chekmareva!!

foreword

1

What is this book like? Like my previous one, “How to Treat Yourself and People, or Practical Psychology for Every Day”, apparently, no matter what. That is why she is beautiful. But if that book was written with an eye on the reader and was done in many ways for him, this one was written by me for myself. And practically without internal censorship.

• Well, maybe even for friends. And with my wife’s mild censorship.

This is definitely not Science, although the book grew out of science and the density of its own and borrowed scientific material used in it significantly exceeds the average. Rather, it is Literature, in its best places becoming Poetry.

• Indeed, if poetry, according to Akhmatova, grows out of rubbish and weeds, why shouldn’t it also grow out of science?

2

The first and working title of this book is How to Treat Yourself and the World: A Practical Philosophy for Everyday. Accordingly, both the first and second books are very similar: the only formal difference is that in the latter the emphasis is shifted from “people” to “the world” and the scale of the view is changed — not “psychology”, but “philosophy”.

• The author looks at the same thing and the same way, he just flew higher above the ground. And space opens up other perspectives, and gives rise to other feelings …

Philosophy and psychology are just languages ​​of different levels. A psychologist is a wise practitioner who, without flying high, chews philosophy in relation to everyday specifics. And a philosopher is a sage who, about a variety of everyday problems, without delving into the specifics, says the same things — those that remove these problems. Philosophy, literally translated, is the love of wisdom.

• Do not confuse with metaphysics — the doctrine of the structure of the world. I do not like these teachings: they are easy to believe, but impossible to verify, and, most importantly, what do I care about all these problems? If the soul hurts, you need something about the soul, and not about matter, space and time.

The philosophy of this book, like the psychology of the previous one, is applied. It is for everyday life, for a living and feeling person from morning to evening of his day and life, in the familiar environment of near and far, for work and holidays, illnesses and TV.

• Philosophy, like the psychology of the first book, is practical.

3

If you count these books as children, then my first child was born an extrovert and a cutie-for-everyone, although not without depth and zest. The second child is a deep introvert and a sage from birth, but just as mischievous and outgoing.

• Later children in general, as a rule, in all respects turn out to be much further from the statistical average: more often deviations are towards both genius and pathology. Let’s say this kid is lucky.

The child, however, is very mocking, ironic, and even just caustic, although on the whole it splashes with health and optimism. His rare anger, I think, should be forgiven — it is bitter and is generated, apparently, by sentimentality that has not yet been completely outlived. This charming child perceives his stories exclusively as Fairy Tales and point-blank does not understand the question: “Is this the Truth?”

• His response: “I don’t really care. What I tell is Tales, and all I need from them is for them to work. Ordinary fairy tales should put children to sleep, but mine should wake them up. But are they true — who cares if everything happens to the children who listen to them, which should happen?

4

With joy and quite sincerely I confess: these Tales are my favorite book. No matter how I open it, no matter how I start reading, I admire both the style and the content. This must be so well written!

• Hey Pushkin! Ah yes…!

You always read with pleasure what was written with great pleasure.

By the way, about us with Pushkin. Many accuse me of cynicism, but this is a misunderstanding. Any realism in relation to people gives rise to nothing but sadness, and when this already sad realism is served against a cheerful background, yes, this is called cynicism. But your author, doing this — and the author did it with undisguised pleasure! — the author only continued the tradition of great Russian literature.

• Only those who have not read it for a long time can deny Pushkin’s cynicism. But what else gives «Eugene Onegin» such charm?

5

Many compare this book with the works of Nietzsche — if I am flattered, then in so far as. I read Nietzsche, and some things quite carefully. But my book is more interesting for me to read. Nietzsche, like an improviser, spreads with brilliance — but spreads, and I am laconic. He suffered excruciatingly from his stomach, eyes, headaches and depression, and his cheerful rampage against this background is sometimes unstable, sometimes painful. And I have complete order with my health, and I write more cheerfully. As a pioneer, he was still cautious — and I am already bolder and tougher. But, strangely enough, kinder.

It was difficult for Nietzsche to imagine that his superman would turn out to be so mentally rich and strong that he would gladly allow himself care, warmth and tenderness. We are divided by many things, but there is also something that unites us — this is sincerity and unconditional concern for humanity.

6

The book has been read and heard by a variety of people. Reviews of very many: “This is not psychotherapeutic! This is dangerous! This is only for the strong! Only those who have traversed the Path, only the advanced will be able to understand this!”

Maybe. But I did not at all set the task here to provide spiritual help to someone, I did not intend to educate anyone, and I do not bear any responsibility for the clumsy spiritual movements of those who cannot withstand the load of this book. If I made a heavy barbell, and someone began to lift it and overstrained — my condolences, but only his stupidity is to blame for his misfortune.

At the same time, someone can use the book as a guide for personal growth. Many of my students (although this is not my inner word at all) use it this way, and they like it that way too.

7

The characters in this book are familiar to those who know me. Here the members of my family flash by: my wife, who was like a Miracle, so she remained a Miracle, and the kids: the growing up bubusi and mumushi Vanya and Sasha. Sasha the niece is a bright phenomenon of my every summer, when, in fact, the book was written. The rest of the year I am surrounded by members of the Club — the club of practical psychology «Sinton». The club, this world, created by me twelve years ago, still occupies a large place in my soul and life: it demands a lot, but it also gives a lot. At least you won’t get bored with him.

8

The book strives for perfection, but its author is not perfection. It reflects not my level, but my guidelines.

• It’s not even a goal. They strive for goals, but among my landmarks I just live.

As for my further self-development, now I am rather cool about it. I am far from ideal, but my self as an apparatus for life works in a way that suits me, stably, and although you can get more sophisticated in self-improvement, I’m not sure that I need it. I guess there are other things to do now.

• If the car has no brakes, won’t start and is just dirty, it needs to be washed and put in order. Of course, if you get carried away, it can also be made flying and singing. But is it worth it? Maybe you just need to sit in it and go on business?

And there are a lot of things. Now, for example, my wife asks to fix her broom.

Preface completed. And the book began. Began — Fairy tales.

Tale of the Science of Psychology

Prolegomena

About language and method

When I was a student and spent time on agricultural work, my friend Sasha Agafonov, looking at the sorting machine, along the belt of which a stream of clods of earth and potato tubers moved through our frozen hands, once thoughtfully said: “It only reminds me of the process of perceiving perceptual information!” — and then convincingly illustrated the activity and selectivity of the perceptual process, including the work of short-term and long-term memory, using the example of our sorting. The content of the corresponding chapter of the textbook was substantively reproduced almost completely — in a few minutes.

• As I understand it, the image of something similar to such sorting was originally in the minds of the authors of the textbook, but they themselves could not admit it to themselves and therefore tried to use the language of science.

And then the inner, living language changed — was revealed. And what could be interpreted for hours in the bird’s scientific language, began to be seen immediately: visibly and distinctly. And then, suddenly, I realized that behind the high and so empty for me scientific language there are (can and should be!) simple and earthly things — such as this rattling sorting. I allowed myself to see and speak like that.

• Once I allowed myself to do this, everything fell into place.

Don’t expect the bird language of science from me

Now, when I need to talk about the Soul, about the Inner World, I draw convenient working pictures. I, as an architect, discuss the design of the Personal Facade, the layout of the Inner Courtyard, and the arrangement of the Inner House of the Soul; as a physician and anthropologist, I describe the Inner Man; like a charioteer, I inspect the design of the Crew of Soul Forces; as a political scientist, I comprehend the life of the State of spiritual peace. I will be an engineer and a gardener, a manager and a shepherd, whatever, as long as the pictures thus obtained are clear and convincing.

• Moreover, I consider them not just as analogies — no, this is a real language in which one must speak about the Inner World and which is capable of building the Inner World.

What is seen on the inside

Feel and look: “From these words it immediately became cold — and the soul shrank so that subsequent apologies already hung in the void. The soul was closed … «Look and feel:» This look warmed, and the words sounded like lovely music. The sun rose in the soul — and it became light … »

• What reality does this language describe?

The inner plan is what is done in your soul behind the shell of external actions. This is what your Inner Man does in his Inner World. And this is what is absolutely clearly seen by Soul Vision, heard by Soul Hearing and felt by Soul Touch.

Only by examining the internal plan of their actions, adults can understand what kind of badly brought up children they are.

“I just said …” — no, in the inner plan, this is attracting attention to yourself: you erased the interlocutor’s thought and put yourself at the center of the conversation. “Well, we argued …” — decipher: everyone broke what the interlocutor was building, and desperately defended his own, in order to allow himself to outlive the precious: “I’m right” — the most expensive prize for fools. “Well, I scolded …” — in reality, you were now beating your interlocutor, caring most of all about the biting of the blows — and, preferably, on open wounds.

It is only by looking at the internal plan of action of another that we can understand how unrealistic most of our expectations and requirements for him are.

He uncontrollably (but not in time) laughs, you pull him: “Stop immediately!” No, it is pointless to turn to the subtle energy of his consciousness now: he is now bathed in a splashing stream of laughter, from which there is simply no strength to swim out yet. The situation is the same as if the child were sandwiched between two concrete slabs, and the parents demanded: «Run here quickly!»

• What to do? Or wait until the elements subside, or «wedge with a wedge»: overturn his laughter with something even more impressive …

And if he is now desperately lying — do not be indignant, but take pity on him, because in the inner plan he is hopelessly pressed and, if he does not wriggle out of it with a desperate jerk, he will be trampled …

• And by the way, it was you who pinched him. Did you see that?

And now —

The Hard Life of the Inner Man

Behind the appearance, behind the shell of the human body, I always see the inner person, and almost always it is a small, miserable child. Sometimes a child has grown old early, with dull, tired eyes and drooping, sluggish hands. Sometimes — in bruises, wounds and abrasions, a small animal, hunted looking around and fighting to the death with enemies only visible to him.

It is a sad sight to watch how weak and helpless the Inner Man is… For one bull, endowed with natural animal strength, there are usually ten dystrophics who are unable to stand on their own shaky legs and cannot withstand any pressure.

• They are really weak, but even more like to imagine it. Their game of Weakness is a game that makes it possible to avoid responsibility and burdens. You should have seen what heroic strength and remarkable perseverance they show, proving their weakness and helplessness on occasion!

Instead of learning to stand and walk on their own, they gather in pairs and heaps, which, of course, is more stable. They call it friendship and appreciate it very much. In such a symbiosis, they almost do not fall, although, getting used to the support, they soon wean themselves from independent walking and increasingly become disabled.

They are also nearby because the frozen ones want to warm up so much. Having snuggled up, and then for reliability and attached, it becomes really warmer for them, but now their elbows interfere with them.

You can hardly meet those calmly staying in their ranks, some kind of swaying is constantly noticeable. Someone was drawn to the light, another was swayed by the wind, the third was pushed by those around them — they are constantly fluttering. But when one twitches, then, as a rule, he pushes with his elbows and pulls others tied to him — relatives. They twitch in turn — and so on in an endless living chain.

• In addition to being stupid, it is quite painful.

So they live like a herd of porcupines: separately — it’s cold, but together — it’s sharp, you constantly stumble on the needles of your neighbor …

They are usually hungry, and their perpetually empty stomach requires constant refilling. Accordingly, something is constantly poured into their wide mouths, open to all winds and debris, occasionally chewed and partially digested, something is assimilated, albeit poorly. Having been filled, and even devoured, they calm down, but now the process of fermentation begins in them, and the results of poor mental digestion in one form or another come out.

• People call it «I’m overwhelmed and can’t help but share.»

Like cow cakes or steam from a teapot without a lid, something always comes out or falls out of them. If something fell out of one (a thought, a desire, an experience, including an acute one) and hurt (or even scratched or pushed) the other, then the recipient is now put into action. Having pumped out and shaken up his inner content, on the reverse swing he splashes out something in response to that, now starting his hydraulic processes, etc.

• If shit was splashed, then such an interaction is called swearing, and if sweet water, then a pleasant conversation. Usually the consistency is mixed.

Most people prefer to consume anything, just not to remain hungry. The remaining minority tries not to eat foul-smelling foods, but the difficulty is that almost none of them knows how to close their constantly open mouth. Therefore, if someone didn’t dodge his neighbor, then he still has to eat all the nasty things thrown out to him.

Nasty things often turn out to be simply poisonous. Then male beings, either more notorious, or in concern for the environment, try to digest all this inside themselves, which results in their earlier mortality. Beings of the female gender, more liberated and not bothering themselves with unnecessary reflections, dump everything on those around them. As a result, it is dirty around them, but it is good for them.

• And in general, it turns out even somehow harmoniously.

It is hard for little men without each other, but they are poorly adapted to joint actions. Clumsy and constantly in some kind of half-asleep, they constantly hurt each other, point-blank not noticing it. When they are hurt, they respond extremely aggressively, they try to hit backhand and preferably in the most painful, vulnerable places. Because of this, their thin skin is always bruised and scratched, as if in constant irritation, and the wounds may not heal for years.

• Many hard-faced Victims pick their own wounds.

Almost the only and perfectly effective medicine, which is also a universal general healing procedure for them, is stroking, but, oddly enough, stroking among the suffering population is practiced extremely rarely there.

• Either they don’t know about this medicine, or they consider it something indecent …

Trying to protect themselves from the poke of others, they hide their body in a protective shell, skillfully depriving themselves of scratches, strokes, and in general a living stream of life. Some mobile shells with a set of social templates, admittedly, are very convenient, plus in appearance they resemble a completely living person.

• You can guess that this is a shell only by its mechanical nature and because it is always cold next to it.

The miserable appearance of the Inner Man, entangled like a mummy, with ropes from head to toe, tied to others and even tied to a mass of things around him, is completed by heavy Glasses on his eyes plus a tight Cap over everything.

As for the Caps, by pulling them over the eyes, everyone can see the Real Picture of the World and the Correct Routes of Life drawn on them. The cap is called the Mind, and every older mummy is in a hurry to put it on tightly for those who try to look at the world with their own eyes.

• Paradox: at the same time, those whose Cap is torn and on whom the light of the world gushed through holes and slits, they call happy.

Glasses on the eyes are a much more individual thing. They allow the Real Picture of the World to be distorted in any direction desired by a person: for example, to see the world in mournful colors if you want to grieve or make it rosy when you demand to arrange a holiday.

• Lenses-light filters in glasses men change with their own hands, but the most surprising thing is that they do not see this. And the world for them remains Objective, and not arbitrarily Colored by them.

Obligatory — and at the same time prestigious — for each Inner Man is the acquisition of Culture. Outwardly constructive, Education looks like countless Prohibitions and Precepts, which, neatly intertwined and surrounding the little man from all sides, form a kind of cell-prison. At the same time, each owner of his Prison is very proud, considers it the most Correct Prison in the world and carefully wipes the bars of its bars, indignantly rejecting proposals to leave it and live freely.

• Moreover, parents always take pride in passing on a copy of their personal paddock to a child.

Who is a Psychologist?

When a person introduces himself: “I am a Psychologist!”, uninformed schoolchildren squirt on the topic “Psych”, and knowledgeable adults show respect with caution. True, they always want to make sure that this is a Real Psychologist, and not some impostor. After all, there are so many who claim this High Rank!

• Naive …

In fact, a psychologist is an ordinary employee of the Public Service, a cross between a locksmith from the house management and a dental technician.

A woman’s sewing machine is out of order, her boot is torn or rubbed — she goes to the workshop, the master cleans her dirty machine and mends her worn-out boot. When her relationship with her children went wrong, her relationship with her husband and friction at work are about to break, she goes to another workshop, where the master is called “Psychologist”. The psychologist cleanses her terribly littered soul, somehow sets her brain, and for some time she lives almost without friction.

• However, as she did not deal with her soul, she will not deal with it. But he will live for the time being, and so on until the next breakdown.

And the Psychologist helps her with this.

Or it doesn’t help, but continues to hold high the banner of Scientific Psychology. For example, yes.

No patient, no problem…

A patient came to the doctor. Complaints — insatiable hunger, eats everything: salty and sweet, edible and not. A swollen belly leaves no doubt, the sad eyes of relatives call for sympathy. And the doctor treats the patient — God grant him success!

A psychologist solves a similar problem a little differently. A client comes to him and, after a minute already sobbing, tells about his unlucky life. His life is full of events. In fact, everything in his life turns out to be events, everything evokes a new mood in him, and behind it is either a waterfall of joy, or a stream of tears. “Our lap dog sneezed twice yesterday, I immediately became agitated, my soul is torn, I didn’t sleep for half the night.”

• The same hunger is evident: only a hunger for embarrassment, a craving to cry and admire. And the same insatiability and promiscuity.

The psychologist, like his colleague the doctor, will not remain indifferent. No, he, of course, will not undertake treatment: airing littered brains, setting up a disordered soul, changing rotten values ​​- the hassle is too troublesome. He would rather leave everything as it is, but advise the client in which feeders and sources it is better to quench this thirst for experiences, given the very difficult circumstance that this thirst is insatiable for the client.

Further. A couple of questions to this frantic collector of emotions, and now you can see those who are next to him: a nervous and tired wife, children around her with the same fine mental organization and frail health. These are his jewels and affections, for the sake of which he suffers. He suffers, they suffer even more with him. All dreary eyes look at the Psychologist with pain and hope. They look with pain. So, after all, in front of him is a patient? But he’s not the only one…

• This was the clue. When there is a lot of pathology, it can always be called the norm.

Offering to weep his regular experiences and expressing his conviction that sobbing is an inalienable right of every authentic personality, the Psychologist confidentially reports that science considers these character traits to be the norm, and this disgrace is called in science, sorry, your type is “labile type with hysterical features” .

• No. Since he is a humanist, for the sake of gentleness, he will formulate this to the client as “sensitive” and “artist”.

All. No pathology — no problem.

The client is inspired, and now he can no longer be treated, but examined. That’s easier. To be sure, the Psychologist will make a long report about this at a scientific conference, write a clever article with all the necessary references, and soon, instead of an ordinary psychotherapist, he will become a doctor — a doctor of science.

Professional consultant — and a little about Self-actualization

A counseling psychologist has been hired to guide adolescents and young people in the right choice of their future profession. From the theoretical works of the humanistic direction, he already knows that for a person, his self-actualization is most important. And if a person finds that in which his essence is most fully revealed, which most of all meets his deepest needs, the more satisfaction he himself will receive and the more desire — and, consequently, efficiency — he will work.

• In fact, the state only cares about the last thing: efficiency, and only for this the consultant is paid money. But in the heart of our consultant, I repeat, a high spirit burns, and he will sincerely seek out in every sloth his true essence.

However, the highest humanistic urge for self-actualization still needs to be clothed in something more or less worldly, and then there are formulations about the need to take into account the individual characteristics of a person, which includes the psychophysical characteristics of a person, his inclinations and interests.

• Just in case, my reader — have you felt the substitution yet?

Because a little later, in a specially designed questionnaire, questions like: “Do you have strong hands? back muscles? legs? Do you respect people? Do you like a life that is calm, measured or filled with fast-changing and unexpected events?” — and, of course, questions about a person’s values ​​and his interests.

• Which are deciphered by a normal teenager as: “What is scrap for you, and what is high?”

And now a young man sits down in front of the consultant. Muscle mass grows on him undisguisedly violently and everywhere, he respects big money very much and does not respect people at all, and in life he loves baldness, adventures and dangers most of all.

Accordingly, if the counseling psychologist does not keep silent and does not lie, then the young man, on a scientific basis, will recognize the profession in which he will be able to realize himself most of all. This profession is called Bandit. And only in it he will be able to self-actualize, to the greatest extent reveal all his hidden — and very obvious — potentials.

• And rest assured, he will be all right with potency.

Past the soul, or What the Psychologist does not do at school

To make it clear: explanations from the Author

They called, they invited me: there will be a working seminar of practical psychologists who lead groups and work mainly at school. Intention? Gather the best forces and in your narrow circle go through the pain points of each.

• This was the Main Lure. After all, don’t feed a psychologist with bread — just let someone go through his pain points …

Accordingly, there was confidence that everyone would speak as they are, without masks, and this attracted even more. Therefore, we gathered.

So, a narrow circle of specialists. We looked at each other, made Reports, showed the Work. And then I realized that I could not be silent, so many feelings poured out of me. different. I was delighted with the people, and indignant at their work.

• Maybe it’s because people are what they are!!

In short and softly, the final impressions are as follows: “Psychologists are cool people, they just do something wrong.”

So sketches.

Very Cautious Psychologist

The Very Cautious Psychologist talked about his work. He was a really good and honest Psychologist, but the more he talked, the harder it became in my soul.

• Why not?

The psychologist was a Tired Humanist and emphasized many times that it is dangerous to touch other people’s souls. He spoke long and heartfelt about how dangerous psychological groups are, hurting and exposing the soul, especially in a school class situation. He said that tests are dangerous and knowledge of human psychology is dangerous, since all this makes it possible to psychologically manipulate.

• He spoke smart text, but I saw pictures.

I saw: the Psychologist has his Psychological Arsenal. It looked very much like some kind of dense armory, which stores very dangerous weapons. And the Psychologist walks around him and says that there are a lot of weapons and dangerous weapons, but he will only show him and won’t let him touch anything.

Well, it’s very dangerous!

• More attentive people could read the subtext: “If you are smart, take it, but without me.”

At the same time, the Psychologist asked his colleagues what, in their opinion, is necessary for students to study with desire, what methods should be used for this.

I listened and remembered my life. When I was a teacher at the institute, I also composed nice lectures under the slogan “And here’s something else interesting”, told psychological stories, and everything was generally good, but occasionally smart and lively people came up to me and asked: “So what ?” It meant, “What do I do with this? How can this change my life?”

• My studies did not help them live. And so I had to look for methodological techniques, use pedagogical influences and launch Teasers.

As I understand it, this glorious Psychologist also found his own, very smart solution.

Very smart solution

Premise: The psychologist knows that his job is to equip people with psychological knowledge. A difficult circumstance: he is a humanist, and therefore does not want to arm the savages with dangerous weapons. The result is a creative problem: what can be given to students in order to give them nothing at the same time? How to work as a Psychologist so as not to touch the soul?

• Once again: how to remain a Psychologist, and keep innocence.

Hint to the solution: there are normal teachers around, walking around with notebooks, tired, but without these highly humane mental anguish. Or maybe this is the solution?

Yes, but it needs to be implemented. And so the Psychologist plunges into methodical creativity: he develops a training course. This is a school course, but only in a fascinating form, that is, something Strict in essence and Light in form. And now, in the classroom, he begins to give smart Theoretical Knowledge, and in order to swallow it, he tells Interesting Psychological Tales for lubrication.

Outcome: Everything is going well. The psychologist fulfilled the holy commandment “Do no harm” and is therefore clean, and the students spent time with him.

• And not just carried out, but a complete attack.

Psychology as an Educational Subject

God is abominable before God anyone who teaches geometry, and all the sins of the soul are to love astronomy and Hellenic books.

Teachings of the XVII century

At school, as part of the curriculum, children are told a lot of curious and at the same time completely unnecessary things, backed up only by the authority of the Program and the whip of Assessment and Exam. Well, what about without Physics? Well, even if it is not clear why to study Newton’s third law, the phenomenon of Faraday’s electromagnetic induction and the Boyle-Mariotte curve, but these are the Basics! Everyone should know physics!

• And they learn the answers to questions they’ve never been asked. Or which you can ask only out of curiosity, when there is nothing to do.

For the best teachers, Physics also becomes an applied subject, that is, teachers show how this can sometimes help students in life. The amount of usefulness turns out to be small, but at least some sense appears.

And now — triumph and apotheosis: now Psychology becomes the Subject of Education. They begin to teach it as the same Physics, only with other troubles. It was as if they had changed her clothes, created for her the appearance of something Solid and Real. It’s all right: time will pass, a tradition will be created, and stupid questions “Why do we need to study this?” will disappear. Well, what about without Psychology?

• “Perception”, “sensory perseveration”, “afferent synthesis”, “attitudes”, “frustration”, “affiliation”, “independence”… See how highly scientific it all is! Impressive?

And then there is the Weber-Fechner law, the Zeigarnik effect, and the Ebbinghaus forgetting curve. Learn this because it is the Fundamentals of the Science of Psychology, and the Fundamentals of Science should be known to everyone!

• Forgot to learn the chapter on Memory? Too lazy to read about Will? Deceived that he taught about Decency? Sit down, two!

Naturally, a good subject should also have an applied aspect. The psychologist looks for him and finds him. Now he develops memory, attention and other mental functions, teaches the language of communication and the psychology of passing exams. And he could, with no less benefit, develop functions, for example, physical ones, teach a language, for example, English and psychology, for example, hammering nails.

• Naturally, these are all generally necessary things. It’s just that they are all off the hook.

Why is it sad? Here is a picture, feel it: a dilapidated, suffering country, a Wizard lives in it, who could stop wars and epidemics, who could save the country, but he lays down his Magic Wand. No one will reproach him, he is not idle: The Wizard is engaged in the cultivation of potatoes … A good thing is potatoes, but does it not ache in the chest?

Why did an aunt come to the children, or seduction of youngsters

If you are not tired, I want to keep you a little longer at school and introduce you to another Psychologist.

• They say that a male psychologist is not a man, and a female psychologist is not a psychologist, but in this case it is completely unfair.

So, my aunt came to school. Yes, not just an aunt, but a real aunt Psychologist. The aunt is literate, she is able to write even methodological manuals, therefore she sets the task: to lure the kids into psychology, and when they get into trouble, call it a formed interest and fix it.

• This whole lexicon is hers.

What do the kids want? They want many different things, but there is one thing that they want with all their guts. Although many of them are unaware of it, although many will refuse to admit it, they all want warmth and closeness. But they don’t have this. And when Aunt Psychologist says: “Let’s master the Science of Psychology!”, they hear: “You will be loved. You will get warm. You will be happy!» They have hope. They go to her — to the Psychologist! and sit down at the desks.

Lessons begin: texts are read and questions are posed. So that the legs do not numb at all and the soul somehow moves, the Psychologist even puts on some scenes with them. Then it becomes interesting, almost like in the yard. No, it’s really interesting for kids, because sometimes Aunt Psychologist tells something about them. For example, she gives tests, and after answering several hundred strange questions, they can then read their testimonial if they wish.

• Which tells about them what they knew about themselves before.

The course is long, but the kids don’t complain. After all, they are in school, that is, in a place of strict imprisonment for their soul and mind. And here there is an opportunity to occupy yourself with at least something interesting, sometimes even useful. The class is warm, familiar, you can talk, and the teacher does not swear …

The children still live in the Jungle and are mortally afraid that someone next to them, the same embittered little animal, like themselves, will see their wound and cry into it. Therefore, to the question of the questionnaire, which Aunt Psychologist will carefully offer, they will convulsively answer: “No, we don’t want our mental problems to be touched here …” Aunt Psychologist in this regard will state some anxiety of the students and continue to give material in line with their current cognitive activity .

• Together they will avoid what is so important for children.

And Aunt Psychologist has her own worries, unknown to children. For example, she is very worried about whether the Psychology she teaches is scientific? She worries about whether the conceptual grid she introduces corresponds to the scientific rituals and within the framework of which academic school she loads the brains of the kids.

She worries about how to do Science. It is a pity that there is no one next to her whose concern would be how to make a person.

• At least the same as her. Because she herself is the brightest person. And I love her dearly.

What I want

What do I want when I work with people? All I want is to free the inner man and illuminate his inner world. Heal wounds, open sources of energy and love in him, make a person strong and kind. So that he does not stagger from the winds of moods, does not dangle from the expectations of those around him, does not bow under the yoke of circumstances, but stands firmly on his own, firmly walks on his own path. So that he opens his eyes and sees the world, and not just pictures of the world. To throw off a heavy shell and become open to the world, perceiving it in its entirety, sensitively and subtly, but at the same time becoming invulnerable and not injured — nothing.

In this sense, the ultimate goal of my work with people is always the same, common. But everyone has their own initial incompleteness and pain, so everyone needs different help.

One only needs to be supported so that it does not fall on sharp stones. The other is to knock out crutches so that he learns to stand on his own feet. The third is to break the shell so that it hatches into the world: at first there will be a shiver, but in the fresh wind the fluff will quickly dry out. The frozen one needs to be warmed up. But this one, so dusty, really wants to be wiped with a wet cloth.

But just please don’t call me a psychotherapist.

I am not a psychotherapist

Watching the work of my colleagues, I was convinced that I absolutely do not want to be a psychotherapist.

• I realized that psychotherapy is cleaning the soul of shit, and deep psychotherapy is deep digging in shit.

Watching my colleagues busily clean these souls filled with dirt, I realized that I did not want to be the same vacuum cleaner. I do not wish. Perhaps this work is very noble, but I am not a fan of human garbage.

• Remark from the audience: “You are lying, Nikolai Ivanovich, because this is exactly what you are doing. And here — in the book, and in the Club.

Yes, I understand that this work is very necessary. Indeed, if human souls are initially disfigured over and over again by ordinary family upbringing, and then they hone their evil and emotional idiocy with series like “Just Maria …”, then such a person is not only constantly filled with shit — from life, he himself carries this shit into life. . And then he and an army of normal, that is, mentally crippled people like him, need an army of attentive psychotherapists.

• I won’t be a psychotherapist because it’s a dead end job. Purely not where they sweep, but where they do not litter.

I am not a psychotherapist. I am the builder and tuner of the soul. I like it. I like to tune the soul — my own or someone else’s — so that it is more and more open to the light … To absorb heat more and more … So that, working without waste, it not only keeps itself clean, but also makes the world around more beautiful and cleaner .

Of course, I can hardly be called a kind person. I do not like the weak, who consider it their right to be weak. I do not like cripples who have found their calling in this, and I do not want to engage in mental prosthetics. I don’t like sick people who don’t know how to be healthy, and I’m not fascinated by the prospect of helping them crawl safely from one disease to another. They get sick because their mental or physical body is always ready to get sick. These always sick do not get sick only when they have not yet had time to get sick again. And having cured the current disease, they are just waiting for the next one with doors open to diseases.

• Healthy is not the one who is treated, but the one who knows how to be healthy.

I am not a doctor.

I am a master of mental health.

“Sinton”, or the Tale of Cooking

Invitation to the Kitchen

The art of preparing and conducting training psychological sessions is a high art, akin to culinary art.

The essence seems to be simple: the people come hungry, and they need to be fed — with good warmth, beautiful experiences, strong thoughts. But “Sinton” is not an eatery, and we arrange not a snack, but a Meal, therefore everything is important for us: what is, and how it is, and in the name of what.

• After all, just having something to feed is not enough. In order for all this to be assimilated, it is also necessary to prepare for the Meal the one who will take this food into himself.

If a person is not ready to receive, for example, knowledge, and we load and load him in immoderate portions, what will be the result? Poorly digested knowledge in some will give rise to scientific diarrhea, in others — vomiting of protest, which is universally observed in academic institutions.

• I have never had problems what to give people, but there has always been and remains the question: how to give it? How to give it in such a way that people eat it and that it is assimilated by them?

Therefore, the most important thing in “Sinton” is Sinton Cookery, the selection and composition of dishes: themes, games and exercises. Is that what I did today? Yes, as always, cooking. And he did a very appetizing activity: there is something to chew on, and to worry about, and have fun. Delicious, nutritious, and healthy!

• Eat for health. As my secretary, Andy, says: “Enjoy your concentration!”

Those wishing to learn how to cook in the same way — we invite, of course, to our Kitchen.

What’s on the menu, or Our Meal

For every lesson at Sinton, people come from the Street, and their street dirt must be washed away. Therefore, every lesson begins with “A Minute of the Guys, a Minute of the Girls”, when after a whole week of separation, everyone can meet with whoever he wants — and with the one who wants to meet him. Music, words, hands, hugs, many hugs, cheerful kisses… Let this warm tenderness make their eyes clean and warm their hands.

I will definitely try to arrange face-to-face communication with them, it’s like drinking clean water. Unfortunately, most of this has already lost the habit and prefers water with jam. Well, you can add canned berries: music and meditative text, there is enough sweetness and vitamins there.

The nectar of any occupation is a carousel of short, but close meetings. New eyes are every time a new challenge, a new world, a new test, and what could be sweeter than that?

If you mix in close physical contact and gentle touches, then for some, out of fatigue or unaccustomedness, your head starts to go around. As a maître d’ I know that foods that are too exotic and unrefined (usually from sexology gardens) can cause extreme intoxication followed by nausea.

• It is curious that people are ready to pay well for this — but we at Sinton practice only healthy nutrition.

The lesson cannot be without discussing some important topic in small groups: it is not always especially tasty, but almost always nutritious. Like a potato. But the topic should still be lively, and the discussion should not be drawn out, otherwise it just starts chewing gum.

Those who chew sluggishly turn out to need to burn their throats with hot pepper in a timely manner: about everyone you can find so much and such Truth that with a burnt throat — and even heart — you pass a week, and then it will not heal …

• For many people I know, the road to personal growth began with a pre-heart attack. I have nothing against shock therapy — as long as it works …

Real black caviar, a spicy delicacy — if you arrange some other short, but cool running around.

• For young people best of all store in their heads what came through their feet.

And then you need to sit quietly and smartly and listen to the leader, then the food will settle down and digestion will begin.

Digestion usually takes a couple of days, by the end of the week he is hungry again — and again runs to class.

About newbies and jaded

When a newcomer comes to the Club, he walks with his mouth open and eats everything with an appetite. In portions, we do not save, people eat up to satiety — and go crazy with goodies. Three months later, the people are already well-fed and satisfied. True, some have already become so accustomed to the restaurant that they once begin to curl their lips: “We already ate this a couple of months ago!”, But they forget to say thank you.

• However, if they are given a barrier-class enema in time, these diseases usually go away.

Some become regulars, that is, they no longer want to eat; they just hang out and often get in the way of serving normal patrons.

My sadness…

I often feel sad, especially after good classes. The people leave well-fed and satisfied, and in thought I sort through the sheets of my manuals and the faces of my visitors. I think sadly of those who run to my restaurant just to forget; just to eat. I fed you: are you going to sleep or work now? Many went to sleep — or to rage.

I don’t want to feed them and now I’m making my restaurant closed. Now I do not serve everyone, but only the audience dear to me, and the pass to me is not hungry eyes and plaintive intonations, but the opportunity to pay with dignity.

• Yes, I serve the wealthiest, only I look not into wallets, but into souls.

My students have already opened their own restaurants: one has more of a dietary canteen, another has an elegant artistic cafe, and the third has a riotous nightclub. The most unexpected was the development of the healing fasting “Overture”, when the leader not only does not feed the group with tasty and nutritious dishes of topics and exercises, but directly interferes with the group’s life, and in the struggle with him for its survival, time after time, it survives stronger and more festive. For supporters of a balanced diet, I recommend the restaurant “U Malysha” — Grisha feeds with soul, and his service is excellent.

The Evil Deed of Cooking

Those who know me know that the word “cooking” is a dirty word for me. It’s as bad as advertising. Advertising draws me to the product and makes me buy it. Cooking makes food tasty and makes me eat it. Cooking, like advertising, is the art of squeezing as much as possible into me by any means, with little thought as to whether I really need this and how much I need of it.

• Remember how happy Socrates was after visiting the market: “There are so many things in the world that I don’t need at all!”

I don’t know any cooks who are worried about me eating less and that my body is nourished and not clogged. They tell me: “Eat, it’s so delicious!”, And I decipher: “Buy and pay, there is such a beautiful wrapper here!” And under the wrapper — poison.

• Oranges need the least packaging, and sweets and alcohol are the brightest packed.

I am against cooking. For my taste, there is nothing better than pure water and fresh fruit.

But why then?

Why, then, do I myself, at Sinton, care so much that everything is tasty?

Everything is simple and sad. The fact is that I am not the only one who feeds the people. There are plenty of feeders, and any TV with a margin will fill your soul with spicy, spicy, and satisfying! It’s bad with cleanliness and health, but about spices, everything is in order there!

How can I not howl here: “But earlier!” Yes, under our past communism, the people were glorious — both hungry and unassuming. I worked frankly poorly, but how hard people worked! I was just an excuse: they did the classes themselves. I was just a door — they came and fed themselves.

• And what you cooked yourself, eat with a completely different appetite! ..

And then I had to compete with discos. And so that people would not go there, I also had to work brighter and louder. Tastier. And I became a cook.

We invite you to dine with us!

Tales of personality

Chapter 1

Man on the street

Every man has his Man-out-and-afar, his Representative Façade to present to a diverse audience. What a great variety of options!

One of my acquaintances turns on the whole set of festive lights and sparkles already for two random passers-by; the other is persistently gray and, as in a besieged city, is ready to cover its facade with a camouflage net. Rarely, but there are specimens whose appearance is made in good faith and with taste; for the most part, however, personal façades are conceived by weak architects and executed by irresponsible builders.

• How do you rate your facade? Is it harmonious, bright, with a good finish? Or sluggish and inexpressive?

Those who want to be a landmark need to work and do what the Street demands. The street, on the other hand, wants to see your Façade—your Man-from-outside-and-from afar—something bright, maybe somewhere brilliant, energetic, and perhaps even luminous. On holidays, fireworks should be arranged.

• Well, whatever you want, a street is a street.

However, look at the passers-by: amuse the kids with flashing neon advertising, and present a businesslike and strict facade to serious people. Give people what they need by choosing from what suits you. I hope you have a wide choice.

Patio for guests

The Man came up to you — and came into contact with your Man-near-nearby. The same is required from you here as from the Courtyard at the House. This is no longer a facade: there is no need to sparkle and rattle here, but it is very useful to warm and shelter the one who comes up. True, for this you will need good spiritual weather, and the weather is different: sometimes boiling Spring, sometimes noisy and warm Summer, sometimes wise Autumn. And always — affectionate and unobtrusive Sun.

• Does your inner weather always please those around you? Do you have enough sun for everyone?

Your Patio should be safe, without the risk of being run into by something cutting or stabbing (for example, looks, words or intonations). It is better, of course, not to demonstrate various garbage dumps of bad feeling and dirty thinking, and even better — to take and get rid of them altogether and keep your Yard clean.

• Unless, of course, you need your Purity not only for show.

Something especially for you It is not recommended to store something valuable in the yard, although let pleasant — and even expensive — surprises delight guests on every next lawn. For the stupid, it might be worth putting up fences and signs with warnings: “Don’t go here,” but it’s even more reliable and easier not to leave guests unattended, show attention to them and carefully guide them: drive along those paths, walks along which will cause mutual delight.

Some of them, frozen, are so hardened that they can bring in the uncomfort and dank wind of the Street. Then, if you are Weak, your Yard freezes over, it becomes cold for both of you, and you have to say goodbye, seeing off … The one who is Stronger does not freeze himself, but does not warm the other, and then the guest leaves on his own. And only the Strong, always keeping his warmth, is able to warm even the frozen. His spiritual power is enough for this. Are you Strong?

It’s good to be close to you and warm. Always and to everyone.

• You are not obliged to feed everyone, especially with delicacies, but at least warm everyone — is there really not enough warmth?

Many tend to present their Yard as Mysterious and begin to artificially complicate life inside it: to darken, confuse, hide — or inflate the scenery. It really sometimes attracts — but only Lovers of Attractions, but your Incomprehensible is rather alarming for everyone else. The most important thing to have in a Patio is comfort and a sense of security, so the more soft simplicity the better. Nearby it is necessary to be simple and understandable.

And leave your Riddle for the treasures of the Inner House.

Inner House and its spaces

Attracted by the Facade, people enter your Patio, but then they stop in front of the Doors of your Inner House. To whom do you open its doors?

• There is, however, a counter question: how many people are eager to go there? You would like a select audience, but for this you need to HAVE FROM WHOM to choose from. And do they come to you? What have you done for this?

Homeowners, however, are more often tormented by the most trivial: without guests — lonely, and with guests — troublesome. You let them in, and with dirty feet they go to the Holy Places …

I don’t know about these problems. I just find it hard to imagine how my Inner Home could get dirty. Firstly, it is beautiful, my House, and there are not many who want to spoil the Beautiful just like that. Secondly, the one who behaves badly is out the door. And thirdly, dirt just doesn’t stick to anything.

• In my world, something ALIEN cannot appear without my consent. In extreme cases: he littered — I shook it out.

Our souls are not soiled by others, we are soiling them ourselves. Here, for example, is a sad sketch. He said goodbye and left her forever. With her he was fine, but with the other he would be better. The one who perceives this as a “spit in the soul” will indeed be spat upon with her soul. And the other will remember only his warmth, and her soul will remain beautiful and pure. But then — who is polluting your soul?

Let’s dream. Let the Inner Home be spacious, filled with air and light through wide open windows. In its numerous and so different rooms there is everything you need for life — and in principle there is no need to leave it. There are rooms for guests, for relatives, for official meetings and children’s games, at the top there is a poetic dovecote, and at the base there are huge cellars that go deeper and deeper: pantries of knowledge and experience. Powerful rechargeable batteries create a huge supply of life support, although every day you feed on just the energy of the Sun, the light of which you always catch — even when the Sun is behind the clouds.

The home of your soul is clean and in order, although it is constantly being built — both up and down. Tomorrow it is no longer the same as yesterday, but the year changes its appearance and interior almost unrecognizably, although the supporting structures of your House are permanent and cannot be confused with any other. Your Palace will not lose height and will not sway, because it was built not on a shaky swamp, but on a hill in the middle of the world. The sky above it is clear, and beautiful roads diverge in all directions from it. The house is rich, and all who are admitted into it receive as a gift as much as they can carry.

My house

My fine, poor, old house!

In your spacious corridors

Silence froze in the curtains —

It owns it.

In that hall facing away

Where no one has been for many years

There is an out-of-tune piano,

And in the morning the sky enters the windows.

It was a long time ago. Since then, thousands of people have visited my House, the House itself has grown and can no longer be called poor. But the silence in the inner rooms remained just as transparent, and the echoing steps of my lonely walks along it are still dear to me.

Am I letting everyone inside and deep into me, into the House of my Soul? Of course not. It can be dangerous, but not for me, but for unprepared guests. At the very top, under the sky, from the opening height and freedom they are dizzy, and they are clearly not ready for flying. In the interior rooms, where only the layout is unusual, the guests are already wandering, they can’t find the usual steps in any way and constantly bang their foreheads on unexpected partitions. Camping in the basements in general requires a different physical preparation.

• Some people’s legs give way from the loads — because weak, and some shining treasures seem like a coldly shining Horror … By the way, there, in the basements, very unusual Creatures really sometimes walk.

But I love to be a guide, and when training walks show sufficient preparedness, any routes and access to any room are opened to all interested.

• Joint trips, as a rule, end with the discovery of new jewels. And someone is going to fly.

I know that many have Skeletons in their Houses, in distant rooms, and therefore the owners themselves avoid opening the doors there, not to mention letting strangers in. I did it differently: I collected all my Skeletons, provided with explanatory tablets and placed them in the Historical and Biographical Museum.

• In combination with other exhibits, a very moralizing and pedagogically verified composition was selected there, so now even schoolchildren can be sent there.

But the doors of my House are also closed. My house is not a passage yard or a rooming house, and I have no obligation to gather under my roof everyone who likes it. I am often busy and do not receive guests. If someone starts breaking into my house, it can hurt him, because my walls and doors are strong. In the same way, I always see off any unwanted strangers from my inner territory, and they do not even always notice how enthusiastically I do it.

Strange …

Recently, I begin to understand that my beautiful Home is only one of the points on my path. I built it for a long time, and yet I am against the fact that he tied me to himself and became my prison. I won’t hold on to him and I won’t be his hostage. I am a traveler, and if my house burns down, I am not afraid anymore.

Chapter 2

In my opinion, a person does not understand two main things. The first is how FREE it is. He does not see his vast freedom, his infinite possibilities and countless choices — and thus refuses them.

A person is much more free than he thinks in the external world around him — and only dusty stereotypes and internal prohibitions, often created by himself, prevent him from living this freedom. But if the external, material world inevitably imposes certain boundaries on a person (even with a mortal body), then the internal, spiritual world is a world of absolute freedom.

• You can surround a person with stone walls on all sides — but by what force can you force a free person to place these walls in his world?

The remark of Igor, a cheerful pessimist: “And do not try, he will do it for you. He will voluntarily surround himself with walls of all kinds of prohibitions and, amazingly, he will feel relatively free, and even teach you, standing behind these stone fortifications. My friend Yulia chose just such a lifestyle.”

But the second thing that a person does not understand and does not see is how NOT FREE he is. It may seem to him that it is he who makes the choice, makes decisions and bears responsibility — but in reality he does not have any freedom. He has hardly more freedom than sophisticated household appliances, and in this respect Gurdjieff is right when he claims that it is not psychology that is needed to describe an ordinary person — just mechanics is enough.

Why know it and why think about it? To understand WHAT you are and what you can expect from you. Man will never be free until he realizes that now he is nobody, only something. And until he realizes that being free is wonderful. And just. It’s just not building walls around yourself. Just BE free.

• This is, in fact, the whole book.

To you — about not-you

To start doing something with yourself, you need to find yourself. Need to know where you are. What you are and what you are not.

Oddly enough, this is not such an easy task.

Let’s get loose!

What does a person consider his self? Usually, in his I, he first of all includes his body, his thoughts and experiences. Many people add their loved ones, relatives, friends and buddies here, and some are ready to include in their I their usual work, their home, and their favorite ue, from which they never get out.

• I always think about such a wide one: is it expansively capturing everything around, or is it captured by everyone who is not lazy?

A person is surrounded by many things that he used to consider as his I, but this much is not yet himself. I am a person with many stuck together.

This sometimes happens between a weak child and strong parents. A weak child is a mechanism that reflects the will and mind of his strong parents, especially since without them he simply will not survive; they are inseparable from him, especially in the mind of the child. They stuck together, but nevertheless it is obvious: the child is not the parents.

• This is obvious to you — but try to convince the child of this!

Now just imagine that you are the same child. And someone is trying to tell you that something without which you cannot imagine yourself is not you … And yet —

Take a closer look: it’s not you

Your thoughts are a product of the particular culture in which you happen to be born. In another culture, you would be stuffed with different thoughts.

• Thoughts can help you, they can interfere with you, they can be absent, they can crush you — but it is obvious that they are not you.

It is obvious that the difference between I and experiences for many people is not a fact at all. When an adult becomes like a child and swims in his feelings, identifying himself with them, he is one with them.

• Asleep I loves to sleep in the cradle of experiences. But as soon as I wake up, it gets up and leaves this cradle.

From club life: when newcomers have a desire to take a break from something difficult in the classroom, they try to allow themselves statements like “I’m not in the mood today”. My reaction is quite standard: “Who is stronger — You or the Mood that attacked you? Yes, your inner weather right now is dark and slushy. Can’t you leave the house in this weather? Mood is the weather, these are your inner circumstances. Can you be stronger than these circumstances?”

As a rule, a bit advanced unstick from their moods and make the right decisions.

Disidentification with one’s experiences is the basis of any self-regulation. The easiest and most effective way to put things in order in your experiences and feelings is JUST TO OBSERVE THEM. It’s really simple: I just step aside and watch how love seethes, anger rises, self-esteem twitches, grief sobs and anguish groans.

• Who watched, knows — the spectacle is curious.

Moving away from such unbalanced companions, the Self becomes pure and free. Included in the game of experiences, the I feeds them with its energy, but when it interrupts the games together with them, the experiences with energy become scarce and soon calm down.

• Sometimes it seems to me that experiences calm down simply because they become uncomfortable — under the calm and deep gaze of the Self.

I will not even argue that the place I am is always outside this company. When experiences mature and grow wiser, I again comes to them. It may also dissolve in them, but this will be the decision of the Self, which decided to give itself to Others.

• Because Experiences are OTHER.

And the last. Of course,

You may have, by local standards, an ugly body and a beautiful soul. A weak self is combined with a strong body almost as often as vice versa. Your body can help your Self, it can interfere with it; your I can be friends with the body or be at enmity with it. In any case, identifying yourself with your body is strange.

• Another question is which of you is stronger? Which one of you is the owner? The body wants to sleep or wallow, but you have to go. Lie down or go?

You are fighting with the body. But the very fact of the struggle, even if it was a lost struggle, points to the independence and sovereignty of both sides.

How to deal with a person

These are our main three non-Selves: Mind, Feelings and Body. Put them together: Body + Mind + Feelings, and you get what is most often called the Human Personality: with respect and with a capital letter. The sum of three non-I gives the Personality? Everything is right because

Your Personality is the main instrument of your Self; it is what you use to move through life. But your Personality is not you.

• In my internal picture, I am usually above myself, a little behind the back of my head, sometimes somewhere above my left shoulder. However, when I like what is happening in the Personality, all the more I like it very much, I immediately dive into it and take a lively part in everything.

Naturally, it is very important to establish the right relationship between you — between Yourself and your Personality. Perhaps it is reasonable to love her and take care of her, but it is rather stupid to consider her a Shrine and tremble before her every flutter. You, as the Master, can use your identity — if you are the Master of it.

• Sometimes you want to give her freedom — and let her live on her own, as she knows. But if she is ill-bred, which is almost always the case, she actively organizes expansion and deprives you of your freedom. Therefore, it is better to keep it mostly in check.

Personality needs to be processed and kept in shape so that it works without failures. Left without a living thing, the personality usually becomes dusty and rusty, and from vigorous use it develops and improves, although if used improperly, it can jam and crack. Nevertheless, sometimes you can rape her, sometimes you have to ask for her — so what? You are always above your Personality, and its grief and discontent concern you in the same way as an intelligent Owner concerns the grief and discontent of his kind dog.

Your personality is not you. And the problems of your personality are not your problems. You can love yourself, but don’t get attached to yourself. You are not responsible for yourself, you are free from yourself. You can help yourself, you can even educate yourself — if your personality has allowed you to do so. Treat yourself the same as you treat any other close person.

And stay invulnerable.

Clarification about Freedom and a new riddle

It is bad when your Personality does not suit you: a frail Body, weak Thoughts, poor Feelings. But by and large, this (WHAT are they — the components of your Personality?) is not so important: the main thing is that as soon as I attached myself to them, identified myself with them, it immediately lost its freedom. How can BOUND to something be FREE? And the whole trouble is only because you have confused I with not-I.

Whether you are free or not depends primarily on where you place yourself. Or: in what and where do you find yourself. If you are confused and take something else for your Self, you are not free. And as soon as you disidentify, leave the bondage. Flip out.

• Take a look at your thoughts and say: it’s not me! And you will be free. Be surprised at your feelings, open up with them: it’s not me! — and be free. Smile at your body: it’s not me! — and you will be free.

But what is I? Who are you? And, by the way, is your confidence justified that you, that is, your I, IS? ..

This is such an interesting question that I will not deprive you of the pleasure of playing it yourself.