Peter Pan syndrome – origin, symptoms, relationships

Proven content

Peter Pan Syndrome is a psychological description of the attitude of a man who, despite his physical maturity, cannot and does not want to behave maturely and mature, while rejecting a responsible attitude, remains an “eternal child”.

Peter Pan Syndrome – origin and name

Peter Pan syndrome, also called Peter Pan complex, in its name refers to the title character of James Matthew Barri’s novel “Peter Pan” from 1904, known today, among others, due to the animated adaptation of Disney. Peter Pan Barrie is a man who, not wanting to grow up, moves to the fantastic land of Neverland, where he becomes the leader of a group of boys, together they experience wonderful adventures and do not get old. As a kind of affliction of modern men Peter Pan syndrome described in 1983 the psychologist Dan Kiley in the book “The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up”.

However, it is worth bearing in mind that the Peter Pan syndrome belongs to the so-called pop-psychology, which can be media and popular, but is not scientific. Peter Pan Syndrome is not included in lists of diseases and mental disorders prepared by psychological societies and should be treated only as a category of describing the mental world or the condition of modern society, and not as a disease or disorder requiring treatment.

Symptoms of Peter Pan syndrome

Peter Pan Syndrome means that an adult man behaves like a child. But how is his childhood behavior manifested? Like a child, a man with Peter Pan syndrome is selfish and narcissistic, self-centered, and at the same time convinced that others should also focus on him.

Sometimes we may wonder what’s going on a man suffering from Peter Pan syndromeand this is because – like children – he has a problem with specifying his expectations, and most of all with expressing emotions. The emotional problem can take two forms. It can lead to emotional withdrawal, secretiveness, and withdrawal. It can also lead to excessive, inadequate emotionality, which turns into states similar to hysteria or boils down to being emotional.

Also read: Emotional disorders – types, causes, symptoms, treatment methods

Yet another characteristic of the Peter Pan sindrome is complete no sense of responsibility. Such a man always blames the circumstances – always “something bad happened”, instead of “I did something bad”. In addition, he looks for justification wherever he can, shifting responsibility to others (superiors, friends, partner, but also the government, politicians, society). He also avoids situations in which he would have to accept this responsibility, and this leads to another feature – the inability to make decisions. A man with Peter Pan syndrome will try to postpone the decision indefinitely or he will try to pass it on to someone else, because it will also shift the responsibility.

Peter Pan syndrome and relationship

A relationship with a man suffering from Peter Pan syndrome is colorful, but not necessarily successful. At first, it may seem like an exciting adventure, because such a man is usually playful, resourceful, energetic. Over time, however, this behavior can start to bother you. What’s more, Peter Pan needs constant attention, recognition and admiration – just like a child. Usually, the partner is not able to meet this need one hundred percent. This means that over time, Peter Pan will begin to seek attention outside of the relationship. It does not have to mean betrayal, but you have to take into account the fact that a man with Peter Pan syndrome is the life of the party and as such is not the best partner for introverts.

The biggest problem with a man suffering from Peter Pan syndrome has already been described in Barri’s book, in which neither Tinker Bell nor Wendy can build a normal relationship with Peter. And this is because Piotruś is not looking for a partner relationship. In his adult life, the woman is to replace the woman from his childhood, i.e. the mother. Men with Peter Pan syndrome do not look for partners who suit them with temperament, childlike energy and the will to play, but just those who will mother them. Such a man tries to take advantage of a woman, shifting responsibility for duties that he finds too boring.

Read also:

1. Male depression does not exist? This is a problem that is underestimated
2. Men and women react to stress differently
3. What is the difference between the brains of men and women? The psychiatrist explains

Men with Peter Pan syndrome are usually not good fathers. In general, they are often opposed to having children because they subconsciously sense that their position in the family would be at risk. The partner’s attention might be focused on the baby rather than on them. In addition, a child is associated with responsibility, so Piotrus try to avoid them. Even if such a man becomes a father, his contribution to caring for children can be disproportionately small. Unless we consider playing with children, because this is what men with Peter Pan syndrome are doing perfectly well.

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