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Persuasion is an art. Jacques Page, a former illusionist who became a well-known business coach in France, shared with us the secrets of his skill and spoke about five universal ways to convince the interlocutor that he is right, without resorting to deception and manipulation.
The professional fate of Jacques Page was predetermined by a meeting with the owner of a large company in the field of information technology. During the performance, carefully watching the illusionist, he noticed how skillfully he uses the skills of persuasion and suggestion. The delighted businessman asked the magician to teach these techniques to the employees of his firm. Fifteen years have passed since then.
Over the years, Jacques Paget has advised many entrepreneurs. His task is to explain to them the psychological principles that his fellow magicians use and which can be successfully applied not only in negotiations, but also in everyday life. We are talking about applied psychology, and not about manipulating someone else’s consciousness.
“What I do is pure work on myself,” warns Jacques Paget. “And therefore the only object of my manipulations is myself.”
A strong position is occupied not by the one who expounds, but by the one who is silent
How to convince the interlocutor to agree to your request? There are no magic formulas, but we offer five basic principles that, according to a professional coach, can bring success in almost any situation.
Be able to be silent
The main principle of the illusionist is to pause as long as possible. Contrary to popular belief, it is not the one who speaks, but the one who is silent who takes the strong position. Starting to speak, we immediately provoke the interlocutor to criticism.
However, there are situations when you need to start a conversation. In this case, try to start the conversation with «yes» or «okay» and then pause a little. Speak not too loudly, but calmly and confidently. Every detail is important here: a pause will set the interlocutor in a positive mood, and the word “good” will make you think that everything that will be discussed has been thought over by you in a positive way and has a clear argument.
In a tense situation — a family quarrel, a request for a raise — this principle can serve you well.
seem calm
The illusionist is not the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland: haste and fussiness do not suit him at all. Only amateurs think that the faster they move, the greater the effect they will achieve. Everything is exactly the opposite. If you perform the movements nervously and hastily, the viewer begins to suspect a catch. The same thing happens when we face a difficult situation in life.
Take, for example, a request for a pay rise. such a conversation is always associated with stress, which means it inevitably makes you worry. And this cannot be hidden from the eyes of the interlocutor. Do you hope that he will want to meet you halfway in order to make you feel more confident and comfortable? Hardly — rather, he will unconsciously strengthen himself in the thought that you yourself are not sure of the legitimacy of your own request. Even the slightest doubt about a positive outcome will immediately be transferred to him.
If you radiate calmness, the interlocutor will automatically think that your claims are justified and serious. Pay close attention to your movements — they should be leisurely — and the pace of speech. The calmer and slower you speak, the more convincing your arguments will sound.
Keep your head straight
Working at a very small distance from the audience, the illusionist always runs the risk of being exposed. For example, demonstrating the disappearance of the ball, which he actually hides in his other hand. What if someone from the audience notices his manipulations? Fearing this, the magician involuntarily tilts his head to one side. No matter how fleeting this movement may be, the viewer will certainly notice it. We bow our heads instinctively when we fear that we will be caught in a deceit, as if we are appealing to the mercy of the interlocutor.
When demanding a pay rise, defending a dissertation, or taking an exam, keep your head straight — this way you will be able to avoid unnecessary doubts from your opponent. If you have a sense of confidence, the interlocutor will not have the desire to ask additional questions.
Exaggeratedly friendly behavior looks unnatural if it is not caused by anything.
You can also use the so-called energy boost technique. Find a point of support: a window sill, the edge of a table, the arm of a chair — any object is suitable that will help you find physical and moral balance. Things have their own energy, which, in case of doubt, will restore shattered self-confidence. See for yourself: as soon as you “recharge”, your voice will begin to sound lower and deeper, and your speech will acquire a fundamentally new quality — it will become more convincing and weighty.
Dare to be obnoxious
The viewer understands the specifics of the work of an illusionist and expects a trick from him in advance. Therefore, he is ready to be fooled, and chooses the tactics of distrust. The same thing happens in everyday life.
Exaggeratedly friendly behavior looks unnatural if it is not caused by anything. If a stranger turns to you, smiling from the top of his head for no reason, you must admit, it will seem strange. Any form of friendship must be the result of mutual sympathy — otherwise it arouses suspicion.
It is best to use a neutral tone and stick to the facts as closely as possible.
Suppose someone needs to decide how to behave towards you. If your attitude towards him is initially positive, he has no reason to somehow change his behavior towards you. If everything is so good, why change anything? Conversely, if you are closed and reserved, he has only one way to win you over — to give you at least partially what you ask for.
Don’t say the word «I»
Illusionists know from experience that every person respects logical reasoning, even if the conclusions from them at first glance seem absurd. For example, the right hand can imperceptibly transfer the ball to the left, provided that this action is due to something — for example, the intention to take another object. In this case, this movement looks logical and the observer will not doubt it for a moment.
If you want the interlocutor to agree to something that seems unacceptable to him, back up the point of view with compelling arguments — flawless from the point of view of logic. It is best to use a neutral tone and stick to the facts as closely as possible. Never focus on the pronoun «I» — report only objective information, as if not directly related to you personally.
Example: “The nature of my work has changed, my job responsibilities are becoming more diverse and require more and more responsibility from me. I don’t think my salary matches that.» The psychological effect is achieved immediately: even if the interlocutor refuses you, he will feel embarrassed and will try to make amends at the first opportunity.