The story of this girl is inspiring and striking in its truthfulness.
She really did it! Italian Stefania Lampdecchia told her story of how she managed to cope with being overweight.
– Obesity means, first of all, that health is under constant threat. But also shame, difficulties in accepting others, rejection of oneself. My obesity story was born with me in 1978. I was born in an ordinary modest family. My parents divorced almost immediately after my birth, and I was practically forgotten and abandoned by my father. I grew up with my mom who made thousands of sacrifices to raise me. No matter how much she worked, there was always not enough money. I have little recollection of this period, but I remember well when I had a piece of meat on my plate for me and a piece of cheese and bread for her. And she, as if making excuses, said: “You eat meat, because I am not hungry.” Despite the fact that I was little, I understood very well for whom she was suffering and how much this gesture meant.
As a result, I grew up convinced that nothing should be left on the plate, at least out of respect and love. Yes, it is love. The very love that we did not know how to express in words, but it was expressed in gestures, this love was expressed through food. I still remember that little Stefania who was underweight, and at school I was teased about the family situation, in those days I was a black sheep. I was advised to put stones in my pockets so that I would not be blown away by the wind. I also remember that until the end of the first pregnancy I was normal.
When I was young, I was a single girl because I never had a good relationship with myself. I have always felt like an ugly duckling in any situation, felt inadequate and the worst of all. As a teenager, I experienced the love disappointment typical of this age, when I want to withdraw even more into myself and begin to think that you will never find the love of your life. And so I met Michele, my husband. We fell in love, got married, and after a short time I was already waiting for my daughter, our first child. What has changed and influenced me so much? I dont know. Maybe because I had to take on a new responsibility with family responsibilities, or maybe I wanted to recognize myself as a woman and a person, and not just a mother, in general, my weight began to grow dramatically.
With the appearance of Laura, I gained 22 kg. It was still acceptable, although a little heavy, and I quickly got tired. The first health problems appeared: polycystic ovaries, lack of menstrual cycle, hormonal problems. After the second pregnancy and the appearance of Daniel, I continued to gain weight.
Paradoxically, but, internally ashamed of my appearance, from the outside I became very affable, open and friendly.
I became Stephanie, available to everyone. Stephanie, who never says no, so as not to be rejected. I always smiled, I pretended to be happy and contented, and I myself ridiculed myself with derogatory nicknames, calling myself “whale”, “fatty”, “fat ass”, “cow” … I was in a hurry to sneer at myself before others did it. And it seemed to hurt me less. It hurt me to look people in the eyes, where I read compassion, contempt, disappointment. It was especially painful to hear from relatives and friends that it was enough for me to close my mouth to lose weight. I believed them. I was constantly looking for my “comfort zone”, places and activities where my weight does not affect anything, where I can be in demand regardless of appearance. And where I could be good, even though I’m so huge.
If you ask me how I got to the 116 kg mark on the scale, I cannot answer. I understood that I was obese, and I was afraid to get on the scales, and my image in the mirror was so disgusting and disgusting that I simply removed the mirrors from the house.
I’ve tried countless diets. Soup diet, amphetamine diet, food accompaniment with different nutritionists and nutritionists, Ducan diet, tube diet, weight watcher diet, miracle pill diet and much more. The only thing I missed was shamans and a trip somewhere in Burundi. Every power system was unsuccessful for me. Every day it became more and more difficult to live, find clothes. I didn’t want to look like a circus tent, so I began to dress in all black. I have faded away. And once I felt the full depth of shame when I flew in an airplane, because my seat belt was not fastened. And the stewardess helped me, tried to attach an extension cord for the belt. Everyone looked at me, and I dreamed of sinking into the ground. I felt like disappearing, but I’m too big to go unnoticed. At that moment I hit the bottom. And I decided that I had to save my life, save myself, at least for the sake of my family, so that they would not feel such shame because of me.
One fine moment I met my angels – people who told me about their course of treatment. With open-hearted people who have experienced the same thing, with the Obese Friends group, and finally with my doctors.
I was able to live and overcome my shame, my fear and decided on a risky operation – sleeve gastrectomy. (This operation removes most of the stomach (about 90%), leaving only a sleeve-like part of it. Thus, the patient can only eat a small amount of food, which usually leads to dramatic weight loss. Ed.) On the day of surgery, I weighed 116 kg, my body mass index (BMI) is 47 (the norm is 18,5 – 24,99, above 40 is considered “very severe obesity.” Red.), and the result of the operation is unpredictable. I was warned about everything. But the team of doctors at the Zucchi Clinic in Monza still took my hand to accompany me on this difficult and dangerous journey.
I didn’t want to survive anymore. I really wanted to return to normal life. And I went to the operating room with a great fear of not getting out of there alive. Standing in front of the door to the operating unit, most of all I wanted to escape, I got a panicky feeling, and at that moment I was able to mock, said to the nurse who was holding the stretcher: “I want to escape, but I won’t run, because the shirt for the operation is too narrow and everyone will see my bare ass. ” I remember how cold it was, I remember my fear and the piercing blue eyes of the anesthesiologist, who looked at me intently and said that he would not allow anything bad to happen, and that he took everything into his own hands, and that from that moment everything is changing for the better.
I remember waking up and seeing those same blue eyes again that smiled at me and said that everything went fine. It happened on October 5, 2016, and I consider this day my second birthday, as if I was reborn.
Surgery is neither the easiest way out nor a magic wand.
After the operation, I went through another difficult period. I had to re-learn to eat, to understand how much my stomach is now able to hold, to step over new fears, through shame and laziness, to sign up for the gym. And then gradually the results began to come. Weight decreased, heaviness disappeared, and food was no longer a pleasure, but a necessity in order to simply live. I stopped pampering myself with food, consoling myself with food, and so on. I finally feel strong. Maybe for the first time in my life I managed to win and complete something positive.
I do not know if I have overcome obesity to the end, or if I will consider myself fat for the rest of my life … And I am still afraid that I can return to the body that I had. Two years ago I weighed 116 kg, today I weigh 50. It seems impossible, but it is. Today I finally recovered and I am happy. I have never regretted that I did the operation that changed my life. If I had to, I would do it again at least a thousand times.