Between the ages of one and three, a child already knows how to move independently, although he still does it awkwardly. Motility is actively developing. But besides that, the child for the first time begins to show his will. Which leads to a crisis, but after – to development.
Movement is both the work of skeletal muscles and the ability to navigate in external space, a close relationship between visual perception and movement, the correct position of the body and its parts and switching from one posture to another. By the age of three, the child masters the main motor skills.
“Hot, cold”
What does a child need to develop? He needs to move, get the first sensory experience, touch, try, find out what is warm and cold, soft and hard, familiar and unfamiliar. The child learns what the world is like to touch and taste. During this period, he no longer wants to sit in his mother’s arms, he is eager to move independently. He needs impressions, and the richer they are, the sooner the psyche is formed.
To become dexterous, a child must fall, hurt himself, get up and move on. This not only develops the body, teaches movement, but also gives the knowledge that everything that happens to the child is a consequence of his actions. How often do we demand responsibility for our actions from teenagers, although up to 14 we protected them from any dangers … Where will responsibility come from if it was not taught before? Everything must be mastered gradually.
Education begins at the age of one and a half to two years, when the child makes the first attempts to explore the world. When he comes into contact with what is around, when he has his own attitude to what surrounds him. The task of parents is to protect the child as much as possible: remove boiling pots, bare wires, sharp and breakable objects.
It is difficult for a child to sit still. And when we try to get silence from him, order him to sit and be silent, slipping him a tablet with cartoons or games, we slow down the development of his brain. Yes, we achieve what we want: the child does not distract us. But in doing so, we harm him. As a neuropsychologist, I know that this sometimes leads to awkwardness in movements, a lack of attention. It is more difficult for a child to learn to count, read, write, master new material and develop intelligence.
“I myself!”
At this age, the child’s emotions are simple: joy, fear, anger, surprise. Speech is not yet developed, so it is too early to talk about complex inner experiences. However, parents are often worried about the tearfulness and aggressiveness of their children. Why do they act up if they are full, dressed, if they are loved and taken care of? Perhaps the fact is that parents do not communicate enough with the child. They do not just sit next to the laptop, but play, listen to it, draw, read. After all, up to three years, a parent is more important for a child than a nanny or grandmother.
Mom knows better what a child needs, who still does not know how to understand his desires, to formulate thoughts. With her acceptance and emotional warmth, she gives him the basis on which his attitude to his own emotions, to himself, will then be built.
It happens, although less often, that the child is naughty, because he is tired of the guardianship of adults. Since the year he has been in need of freedom. A child needs freedom, however limited, he needs time alone, however short. He needs to “digest” impressions, “talk” to himself. If we pester him all the time with all sorts of entertainment and educational activities, then the child simply does not have time to master the new experience.
At about the age of 3, a crisis begins, which in the psychological literature is called “I myself.” This is one of the most important crises of childhood, which can be compared in importance only with adolescence. The first step towards autonomy. The child begins to perceive himself as a separate being, and not part of the mother. The pronoun “I” appears (before that, he spoke of himself in the third person). The child declares his desires, strives to get what he wants.
Run through the puddles – you can
How to properly relate to the new reactions of the child? For me, the answer is obvious – to give him the opportunity to be independent. Where he can be trusted with this independence: choose a game for himself, eat on his own, walk through puddles or draw. Yes, the prints of children’s hands will remain on the wallpaper, the porridge will be on the floor, the clothes will get dirty. But the child will be able to create, he will feel that he is capable of much himself. And in the future it will be more likely to show initiative, curiosity and enthusiasm.
It all starts at the age of 3, and not later, “when he grows up”, and it ends around this period if an adult takes a tough position and does not allow the child to show his will. Strangled at the very beginning, it will not develop as parents would like.
Read a series of articles by child neuropsychologist Svetlana Lukka about periods of child development. The first article “Periods of child development: infancy” is already on the site.
About the Developer
Svetlana Lukka — psychologist and consultant, specialist in the field of parent-child relations, child neuropsychologist. Conducts webinars, private and group consultations. Author of the book “The Threads of Parenthood”. Her .