Patriarchy is harmful not only for women, but also for men

Feminism has a feminine face, and this is understandable: after all, we are the initiators, activists and defenders of the movement for equal rights. But when we focus solely on the benefits that feminism brings to women, we miss another important perspective – how patriarchy affects men. Since the dawn of the modern feminist movement in the early XNUMXth century, there has been much discussion about whether men can be feminists. The answer often depends on your understanding of the term.

The famous intellectual and philosopher Simone de Beauvoir, for example, argued in The Second Sex (1949) that men cannot be feminists because of their innate sex differences. Even today, some believe that they can only be allies: they say they are incapable of truly empathizing with women, and besides, their intentions are often questionable. According to journalist Kat Stoffel, “there is something suspicious about anyone who wants to identify with the oppressed.”

But in general, modern feminism seems to be moving towards a consensus on this issue: men can and even should be feminists, because patriarchy affects their lives too. Of course, in most cases it is beneficial for men, because it reinforces the advantages of the male sex in society “by default”. On the other hand, patriarchy harms men.

1. Toxic masculinity

No matter how unbearable and destructive social standards for women may be, the attitudes with which future men grow up are no less dangerous. From birth, boys are condemned for showing emotions, tears, tenderness, softness – this is considered the prerogative of girls. Boys don’t cry, do they? Deprived of the opportunity to express their feelings, generations of men are forced to suppress their emotions and turn to unhealthy defense mechanisms, such as alcohol abuse (men develop addictions more often than women).

In addition, studies show that the fear of discovering weakness is so ingrained in men that they deliberately begin to show brutality when they feel that their reputation is under threat. Such overcompensation can lead to unpleasant consequences. Men who have doubts about their masculinity are more likely to stalk gay people and act more violently around women.

2. Sexual abuse

This topic is traditionally considered relevant exclusively for women, but statistics show that the proportion of men among victims of sexual violence ranges from 10 to 38 percent! Ignoring or completely avoiding this topic in society prevents men from seeking help and admitting to what happened. This may prevent them from recovering from the psychological trauma they have experienced.

3. Sexual aggression

While women are shamed at every opportunity for frivolous and “lecherous” behavior, society willingly encourages the sexual activity of men. Moreover, a man who does not show sexual hunger can be ridiculed for his lack of masculinity. The stereotype of men as sexual aggressors is so ingrained that decades of scientific research has been based on this assumption. Only recently has this idea been challenged.

4. Domestic violence

Domestic violence, like sexual violence, is considered a women’s problem. Statistics confirm this: women have a much higher risk of becoming a victim of rape. However, this also happens to men. Especially if we talk about violence in the broad sense of the word, not only physical and sexual, but also psychological, which includes ridicule, devaluation, ignoring, gaslighting and other forms. However, the culture of toxic masculinity is so strong that some men may not even realize they are being abused.

5. Paternity

Raising children is traditionally considered the responsibility of women. As a result, men are in no hurry to spend much time with their offspring. Even today, stay-at-home fathers are considered weaklings if they “let” their wives be the breadwinners. Research confirms this: Men whose wives provide the main income are more likely to be dissatisfied with their lives, thanks to a culture that views childcare as a female occupation.

6.Mental health

Another result of the rigid gender norms of a patriarchal society is the high rate of male suicide. This sad fact is also explained by the cult of masculinity, because of which men are less likely to seek help from psychotherapists and psychiatrists to solve their emotional problems.

With all the obvious benefits of patriarchy for men, it is clear that the disadvantages of this social organization far outweigh the benefits. Fortunately, feminism is precisely aimed at the “dismantling” of patriarchy. Of course, there is a long way to go, but if we move hand in hand, perhaps we will be able to go it faster.