Paternal and maternal model of love

If you love not children, then whom?

Children are the continuation of the best in us, children deserve our attention and love, the only question is in the details: what kind of love are they worthy of? How exactly should this love be expressed?

The child wants to sleep longer in the morning. He sleeps so sweetly, snores so sweetly, and when you want to wake him up, he makes a disgruntled face, kicks his legs and covers himself with a blanket with his head. How will our love be manifested: “Well, let him sleep!” or “Honey, good morning! It’s time to get up!»

Love has two wings — Warmth and Demanding. There are two models in love — maternal and paternal. Maternal — is the unconditional acceptance of the child, that is, the joy of his very existence. According to the plan of maternal love, a mother always loves a child and any: clean and dirty, cheerful and tired, contented and irritated, good and evil … Decent and a bandit …

For you, he is a bandit, but for her, he is a native blood!

The idea of ​​father’s love is different, and it is definitely not unconditional acceptance… The father’s model of love is a requirement to conform. «You are my son and you cannot be a coward.»

And if you’re a coward, are you my son?

“Go get up and brush your teeth, dirty people don’t sit at the table!”

And indeed without breakfast can leave…

“There are no lazy people in our family!”

With the subtext: “If you are lazy, you are not ours!”

The paternal model of love is rigid.

The paternal model is not necessarily male. It is better, at least more familiar, if the father has it, the man, but it also sounds in women, especially when there is no man nearby.

Pants seem to be men’s clothing, but they are also comfortable for women, and warmer in them, and sometimes they look good …

Also, the maternal model is more often female, but it is also close to many men. And simply, if a child needs it, then what difference does it make who gives it — mom or dad?

Both of these are love.

The main thing is that there is love, but once, we know, there is not enough love for children. Love is scarce. When the maternal principle of love becomes scarce, we lose our readiness to rejoice at the very fact that we have children — look what! We begin to get angry with children, they annoy us: “These constant screams, antics, fights, everything is scattered, dirt, God, there are no forces …”

When the paternal principle of our love is waning, we become indifferent. The child begins to grow up in an atmosphere of permissiveness, loses guidance on what is possible and what is not, may not pay attention to “this is good, and this is bad”, becomes a wimp and a woman.

Love is needed. Need both one and the other. Paternal and maternal models of love are like two hands in a person: how can one hand be without the other?

If there is only exactingness and rigidity in the family, only discipline and duties, there is no warmth and it is impossible to snuggle up, the little man can break down. If there is only relaxing warmth in the family, only mild interest, there is no “must” and the tension of overcoming — then how to prepare a child for the fact that life is still work, it is a lot of things that must be done without discipline, including self-discipline , in life you will not achieve anything?