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The exactingness of parents to children is not the right of the strong, but the duty of the elder. If parents do not acquaint their children with what demands and exactingness are, children are not ready for the demands of adulthood. Combined with caring, reasonable exactingness of parents works to increase their authority, gives them the opportunity to fulfill their duties as parents. On the other hand, the authority of parents disappears when parents, by their undemanding attitude, teach children that elders can be disregarded.
Watch the video «Age of Darkness»: the father taught the children that his orders can be ignored, that you can ignore the father. See →
Ignoring Father — «Calm down, you’re hurting me, psycho!»
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What requirements for children work to increase the authority of parents?
Children should know what the format of communication with elders is, and follow this format.
Children should be taught not to raise their voices at their parents. In a conversation with parents, one should not grimace and grimace, and this skill should be learned by children. When talking with parents, you need to choose words and expressions — that is, behave like children behave with respected people. Naturally, this does not exclude the possibility that in other situations you can play with your parents, make noise and ride them — it’s just that there is a time and a place for everything. See the issues here →
Children need to be taught to follow the orders of their parents.
The orders of the parents are binding. Children must get used to the fact that parents can give them orders, and these orders must be carried out without delay or comment. If now is the time to do the lessons, and not the TV, the children do it. If it’s time to go to bed, the children are told to go and lie down. If you have taught your children that your orders can be ignored, that you can ignore your father and mother, they will not reckon with you. How to teach children to obey you? We have already written about this, we remind you: Teach your child to listen and obey you.
Children need to be taught to cooperate, not to fight with their parents.
If parents are worthy, then children do not need to quarrel with their parents, there is no need to rebel against them, and in a situation where a child tests parental stability, parents need to show firmness. If the parents are not good, the situation is special … ↑
Demanding to the child and contact with him
Many mothers are afraid to start being demanding with their children: “I’m afraid that if I start speaking strictly, demandingly with him, I will lose contact with him, he will stop listening to me and run away.” The fears are understandable, but it would be more accurate to formulate them differently: not impersonally, not “contact will be lost”, but “a child dissatisfied with the strictness of his mother will begin to take actions so that warm communication with his mother stops.” And what to do? See →
The authority of parents grows when parents combine caring and demanding in their approach. Demanding without caring is perceived as pressure, caring without exactingness does not cause respect: children quickly «sit on the neck.» See →