Parents often come to me for consultations. The questions are very different, we sort it out quickly, the children get better and smarter before our eyes. One of the traditional requests for what to do when a child whines and whines all the time: “Parents, why don’t you buy me? Mom, buy me this! Daddy, buy me something!» I am publishing a fragment of the conversation where we played: the mother played her child, I played the role of the mother.
Mom starts as a child: Well, when will I have a balance bike? You promised, well, give me 8500.
I’m playing as mom: Do I understand correctly that you’re upset right now?
Son: I really want a balance bike.
Mom: Stop! I asked you a question.
Son: How can you not be upset when you do not give me money.
Mom: I hear you’re upset?
Son: I’m upset.
Mom: I understand correctly that you are upset because we promised you?
Son: It cannot be said that you directly promised, but you do not promise.
Mom: Do I understand correctly that if we didn’t promise you, you wouldn’t be upset?
Son: I also want a computer. But you promised me a computer, but you don’t buy it.
Mom: Do I understand correctly that if we remove this promise now, then joy and peace will reign in the family?
Son: What peace can there be if I want a balance bike and I want a computer, I really need it.
Mom: Great. And what do you suggest? How are you going to earn it?
Son: I’m going to earn. I keep asking how can I make money?
Mom: Great. And who should think about it?
Son: Dad.
Mom: Interesting. And tell me why? Who wanted a balance bike — dad or you? Whose project is this, dad’s or yours?
Son: Well, where can I earn …
Mom: Stop! The question was: whose project is yours or dad’s?
Son: My project, okay.
Mom: Who should be the motor of the project? The one who wanted a balance bike — or someone else? I think the one whose project.
Son: Logic.
Mom: Great. Then who should think how you can earn?
Son: It turns out that I am.
Mom: You are my amazingly smart boy, all in me.
Son: But I don’t know, I’ve already thought about everything. You are adults…
Mom: You’re right. Therefore, it is correct to use the mind of adults, fathers and mothers, they are smart people, don’t you think?
Son: I think so.
Mom: You think correctly, let me hug you, you are my smart boy. Now your task is to get the necessary knowledge without mom and dad. Right?
Son: Right. Here I am asking…
Mom: Stop. How can this be done? I’ll give you a hint. The first way: to make parents want to do this for their wonderful son. Second: try to achieve this by whining and getting parents. In your opinion, which would work best?
Son: The first option.
Mom: Yes. I like your ingenuity. And whining, pressure, and other tediousness — what gives rise to parents?
Son: Annoyed.
Mom: Right. After all, you never do this and never will. Right? I love you very much.