PSYchology

A child has more energy than adults. Therefore, it often seems to adults that children absorb their energy. What to do? A few unexpected tips from coach Leonid Krol.

  • If you feel completely drained, change tactics. Choose a stationary role for yourself, but still be «in the center of the cyclone.» The tree is standing, and the monkey is climbing on it. The pole is standing, and the ball flies into it …
  • Parents often waste energy on long dogmatic moralizing monologues. Stop, stop, so you can plant the batteries! Better short words and small movements. Everyone has learned to squat next to a child, but not every parent succeeds in becoming adequate to his short attention. If you learn, you will stop running out of breath quickly and losing patience.
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  • Down with many hours of confrontation about the lessons! Relationships are more valuable. Much more expensive. The school eats them up. Even if you have a dramatic choice — an ignoramus and a good relationship, or vice versa — choose the first option. Believe me, he will have time to learn at any time, but you need to build relationships now.
  • If you find a common language, it will take much less energy to conduct a dialogue.
  • If you’re anxious, overwhelmed by something, and completely out of energy, don’t try to be the perfect parent. Today you can put on cartoons or just lie on the sofa and fall asleep. A child needs a human parent more than an ideal parent. Knowing that you are tired also educates.
  • Children’s lives are detailed and material. Adult — general and abstract. In fact, a detailed life charges much better than a general one. If you have the right attitude to sitting near a puddle, watching anthills, running around, messing around, meaningless questions and other companions of life with children, you will not waste energy on them, but get it from them.
  • Too many rules — too much effort to follow them. Believe me, the best children grow up not where there are a lot of rules, but where there are few of them, but all participants in the process have enough strength to comply with them.
  • Find many options for everything in the world, even if you don’t have the patience for one. On the hundredth you will have a second wind, like a marathon runner. We actually can do more than we think.
  • Feel free to be together, even if you don’t like the behavior of the children. In the end, let them yell, fight, scatter things … And you sit in the middle of this with a book and a cup of tea, call them, stroke their heads and say, lisping: “Oh, you are my dear paws!” Checked — it’s funny and immediately defuses the situation!
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  • Talk to your child, but do not repeat the same thing. From the point of view of children, adults too often speak dogmatically and peremptorily.
  • Ask, don’t tell. Even at a critical moment, ask yourself the question — do you want to increase tension or really communicate?
  • More humor, speak different languages, joke, use metaphors and images. The more serious things are, the better to treat them with humor and sometimes irony. Seriousness is salt, do not shift it.
  • Filter out the platitudes, otherwise the only response you’ll get is «I’ve heard that before.»
  • Remember yourself in your youth and childhood more often. Learn to talk about your mistakes and achievements. Preferably in detail.
  • Be interesting, think more often (and this is not easy) than you are interesting to children.

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