Parenting styles: permissiveness, guardianship, freedom of choice

Contents

If we imagine a scale called “parent strictness”, we get the following alignment:

(Permissiveness) ——- (Free Parenting) ——— (Freedom of Choice) —— (Guardianship) ——— (Authoritarian Parenting)——->

Everything is possible for a child, as long as we, adults, have enough nerves and strength. The adult forbids himself to limit the choice of the child, except in situations fraught with serious harm to the child or other people.
An adult forbids any coercion in relation to the child’s personality.
The only task of an adult is to interest the child.
An adult proceeds from the ideas of humanism, which, in the view of an adult, in themselves guarantee the well-being of a child.
Position from below — the interests of the child are higher than the interest of the adult.

An adult gives a child more freedom and more choice than traditional education provides.
The adult makes sure that the coercion of the child is minimal or imperceptible to him.
An adult proceeds from the fact that the child is brought up by his acquaintance or encounter with life, with reality, and, as far as possible, takes care that this acquaintance is close and adequate, that is, directed both to the interests of the child and to the interests of other people.
The main task of an adult is interest the child.
An adult cares more about the freedom and happiness of the child than about his social success.
Position from below — the interests of the child are higher than the interest of the adult.

Adult he decides all matters relating to the child.
The adult does not give the child the opportunity to make his own choice. Or provides, but in such a form when the choice of the child does not affect anything.
The adult does not consider it necessary to explain his own decisions to the child.
If a child starts to rebel, an adult pushes his decisions power or authority.
Position from above — the interests of the adult are higher than the interests of the child. The child’s opinion is ignored.

The adult gives the child a choice one of several alternatives.
The adult gives the choice to the child based on his own experience and his own ideas about the well-being of the child.
It is also possible that the child offers his alternative, and the adult approves it if it suits both.
The adult gives the child all necessary clarificationswhat caused the need to choose and what options are available.
An adult will not give a child a choice in a situation that could cause serious harm to the child or others.
With the exception of the described situation, freedom of choice implies that the child can choose any option you like, including erroneous from the point of view of an adult (mistakes are valuable experience).
position of responsibility. On the one hand, the interests of the adult are higher than the interests of the child. In this case, the adult takes into account the opinion of the child. On the other hand, in those matters where the child takes full responsibility for himself, he acts on an equal footing with an adult.

As a rule, free choice suggests a smarter approach than permissiveness and more harmonious and flexible than care.