The morning of February 24 brought news that we had feared for a long time. Our Country has attacked Ukraine, airports are bombed, people are dying. Attacks are also taking place in the western part of Ukraine, near the border with Poland. In this situation, it is difficult not to panic, not to be afraid of what will happen. We ask psychotherapist Joanna Godecka about how to deal mentally in this extremely difficult moment.
- The last two years have been a time of great anxiety. Due to pandemics, lockdowns, and economic and economic problems, Poles experience permanent stress
- For several weeks now, the specter of a war in our eastern neighbors has loomed over us. On February 24, this dark scenario became a fact – there was an armed invasion
- Under such conditions, it is difficult to simply return to your daily activities and not feel anxious. Joanna Godecka advises you on what to do to regain your balance and feel safer
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Agnieszka Mazur-Puchała, Medonet: The morning of February 24 began in Poland with the information that Our Country began bombing Ukraine. Suddenly, we found ourselves right on the border with a real armed conflict. I get messages today from people who can’t handle it. They panic, they feel that the world is ending. How do you deal with these feelings? With this state that many people have now found themselves in?
Joanna Godecka, psychotherapist: The world as such is not coming to an end, but we can certainly talk about the end of an era, solutions that turned out to be very non-functional, not good. If we look at our everyday life, we see politicians who have become their own caricature. The Church, which has also become a caricature of what a person should expect in this sphere of life. Plus climate issues, etc. It’s not that the world is terrible. It is people who do such terrible things that make the world somehow turn against us. Also against those who are directly responsible for it.
We must be aware that what is happening is the result of certain processes that take place around us. In any situation where people act in the energy of fear, they act against themselves. It is from the level of fear that we allow ourselves to be intimidated and manipulated. We have examples of rushing at people, which creates divisions and antagonisms. If people enter this narrative, they start to divide, quarrel, go into negativity. They value themselves, they humiliate themselves. The effects of such a policy always end in escalation. And I’m not just talking about Ukraine, because it’s a very complex situation.
The rest of the text is below the video.
What can people do when they start to fear what is going on around them? What can we do on an ad hoc basis now to stop feeling this fear, anxiety?
People in such situations should strive to enter into positive relationships. We can feel safe when we have positive relationships with people, with the world. If we isolate ourselves in the face of threats, be it a pandemic or an armed conflict, we start to think selfishly. That I would be well, that nothing would happen to me. And we ignore other people and treat them as enemies, competitors. Because if we are fine, perhaps someone else will have to give up his “good”. In this situation, we do not feel supported, because we do not give it ourselves. Loneliness appears. For a change, in positive relationships, we can count on others, they can count on us. It is a tremendous force.
Note that in hard times, people often unite. Only, unfortunately, sometimes external narratives mean that union is true, but one against the other. People become antagonists, attack each other aggressively. In this way, we destroy our safety, because we again enter a state of fear and danger.
The simplest answer to the question of what to do in order not to be afraid when we have a pandemic, inflation, and now the invasion of Our Country, is first of all: to think what kind of relationships we create in our lives, what is their quality. Are they constructive or antagonistic? Because if the latter, they lead to loneliness and overwhelming. This is a signal for us.
- Read also: There is a plan by the Ministry of Health to help Ukrainians. Among other things, the “sanitary train”
Among the most immediate, quick methods of letting go of fear are, for example, breathing techniques and relaxation. When the body relaxes, the head relaxes as well. And it is much easier to relax the body.
Besides: physical activity. Even 20 minutes of walking, cycling or jogging will improve your mood and allow you to ground yourself in reality. Or a dance of emotions. That way is of course also talking to someone, but not about how terrible and bad it is. More about what we feel, what we need. I also recommend engaging activities such as solving crosswords, fixing something, gardening. It all helps to reduce your stress hormone levels, so get back into balance here and now.
Do you have people on the couch now who are overwhelmed by what is happening? Which ones need help not because of some specific event, but because of this fear of what else might happen? We have two years behind us when something bad happened every now and then …
I have many such people. I am already signing up people for April / May, because before that, each appointment is busy. I come to people who are in such a bad condition due to the pandemic, isolation and stresses of everyday life that, unfortunately, I often have to send them for drug therapy. Lots of teenagers, young adults who experience severe anxiety, panic attacks, are afraid to go to school. I can say that this anxiety is very much felt in my practice.
Global process people say we are facing a new pandemic about the mental state people are in today.
How do you know that this fear and anxiety have gone too far, that now we cannot cope alone and we need professional help?
First of all, if stress and what we feel about it affects our lives a lot. We are accompanied by anxiety, sadness, as if we were constantly expecting that something must go wrong. For example, when we have such a mechanism that when we do well, we wait for a cataclysm. That when we got a promotion, a raise, someone became interested in us, we immediately think that it will soon turn out to be a mistake, that everything will fall apart. We cannot relax, we reach for stimulants, so we enter into addictions to relieve this tension. When we find that life brings us more anxiety than joy and pleasure, and we cannot deal with it.
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If such a “dip” is not temporary, does not last for a few days, but becomes commonplace, you need to go for help. Because if we do not react, our body will start to intensify the symptoms, for example, panic attacks, fears that will start to withdraw us from life. Then pharmacotherapy may be necessary, because therapy is not enough.
Today I spoke with a doctor from Ukraine. She told me that the war had actually been going on there since 2014, and in the beginning there was indeed terror, life under unimaginable stress. However, time passed, years passed, so this situation became a chronic condition. In a way, it’s everyday. Is it actually possible to just get used to it? But does this fear accumulate and silently destroy?
On the one hand, we are dealing here with habituation. On the thought-feeling level, we get used to this situation. Our internal system has the function of maintaining balance when it is not around us. Otherwise, we would not be able to survive cataclysms, wars, but also, for example, living in a toxic relationship or pathological family, where life may also be endangered. Through habituation, we “make everyday” things.
- Check also: A Ukrainian doctor working in Poland: I am devastated by this situation, my parents are there
However, in the long run, it is not that simple, because when the many years of threat ends, we do not get over it. It’s not like we say to ourselves, “OK, now, today, my stress is over and I’m back to normal.” It’s a complex process. Our system has got used to living in danger and it is impossible to get out of it just like that. Often it is necessary to take therapy or a long process of getting used to, that we no longer need to be afraid. It’s hard to believe we’re finally safe.
Psychotherapist and life coach, runs the Indie You Psychotherapy Center, author of the best-selling guides, “How to silence the inner critic”, “Don’t put off your life”, “Stop worrying” and Inn.
At the same time, we encourage you to listen to the latest episode of the RESET podcast. This time we were talking about breathing. Breathe with your mouth or nose? How To Get Rid Of Bad Breathing Habits? What is breath re-reduction and how does it affect our mental and physical health? You will hear about this and many other aspects of breathing below.
Also read:
- A doctor from Ukraine working in Poland: I am devastated by this situation, my parents are there
- There is a plan by the Ministry of Health to help Ukrainians. Among other things, the “sanitary train”
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – causes, symptoms, treatment [EXPLAINED]
- Psychiatrist: The depressed doctor gets up in the morning and goes to his patients. Work is often the last stand