The moms shared what the most difficult things to cope with – and this is not a lack of sleep or even physical pain after childbirth.
A young mother can complain about her harsh lot only in a whisper. Or his own mother – under the conditions of a good relationship with her. And it happens that even a loved one does not understand, he just shrugs it off: “Everyone gave birth, all the children raised, and you whine.” Therefore, most often they complain either in anonymous groups on social networks, or using special applications. One of them is Whisper, which means “whisper”. After all, the “silent” situation has developed not only in our country, all over the world mothers have something to cry about, but they cannot afford it. And we have collected 10 things that women consider the worst in motherhood.
#1
“For me, the worst moment of motherhood was not childbirth or any nuances of childcare. It was the moment of discharge from the hospital. A friend recently sent a video of how her happy husband met her: with a bouquet, balloons and an expensive gift, brought her to a clean apartment, ordered food – she didn’t have to worry about anything. And I … My husband didn’t even hold the door to the car when I tried to get into it with the child in my arms. At home – a barn, dirt on the floor, dirty linens on the bed, a bunch of laundry, an empty refrigerator, even the cat’s tray is not cleaned. And the traces of the drinking bout – he clearly marked all the days while I was in the hospital. Watching me roar, I got up and went to the nearest supermarket for five hours. And I washed the apartment until nightfall, while my husband played at the computer. “
#2
“I hate night feeds. It’s just hell for me. My daughter is already teething, and she dangles on her chest all night long, literally chewing me to bruises. I practically do not sleep, and I have to get up at six in the morning – this is how the elder wakes up. Every day I pray that the evening will not come longer. I already have no strength. And it is impossible to wean from the breast – without her the youngest does not sleep at all … “
#3
“When I got pregnant, somehow 30 percent of all my friends and acquaintances were automatically weeded out. They became uninteresting with me, because I could no longer walk as before. Then – a divorce. After the divorce, I lost another third of my friends, who turned out to be more friends of my husband than mine. The last friends fled when I gave birth. And then I realized that the worst thing in motherhood is loneliness. “
#4
“For me, motherhood has become a continuous pain. During pregnancy, varicose veins appeared – I have a hereditary predisposition to it. Then – tears, seams, hair creeps in, some rashes on my face, as if I was a teenager, and not a 30-year-old woman, the hormonal background went. But the worst thing for me was that my teeth were crumbling. There is no money for treatment – they don’t get richer on maternity leave. I’m not even talking about how terribly my back hurts, you yourself know everything. I feel like a wreck in my 30s. “
#5
“Constant guilt. I don’t know what to do with it. All the time it seems to me that I am not coping. Because the baby is crying, I have a panic. I look at other moms on the net – they are both beautiful and happy, and the children are laughing clean. No, I seemingly, too, seems to be all right. But not as perfect as we would like. I’m even scared to go to the doctor for a routine round – suddenly he says that I’m doing something wrong. I shout at the children – then I cry all evening because I am a terrible mother. “
#6
“I have to lie all the time. It didn’t work out with breastfeeding – before giving birth, I was very sick with sore throat, it was impossible to feed for a week, since my antibodies were contraindicated for my daughter. It was no longer possible to establish the GW, and there was no strength either. The pediatrician almost cursed me, said that I was an enemy to my child. All the acquaintances in one voice: “Are you lazy or do you want to spoil your chest?” The grandmothers clutched at their hearts, as if I had decided to poison the baby. Well, I have no milk, what am I going to do here? In general, I began to answer everyone that yes, I am breastfeeding, day and night on my breast, and everything is fine with us. They all fell behind. Although, it would seem, who cares about this at all? “
#7
“The worst thing is not that you have to drink cold tea or eat cold food. The most annoying thing is that you always have to eat alone. You are sitting at a common table and chewing food that has cooled down for a long time, when everyone has already eaten and went about their business. But not you. “
#8
“I haven’t gone out on my own for three years already. I have the same weather, both breastfed. I am literally attached to the house for a tit. I can only go out for a walk, to the store, to the clinic. Beauty saloon? The gym? Meet your girlfriends? No, this does not seem to happen in the near future. I already howl within these four walls. It would be possible to pump and leave the children to her husband. But he is against it. “
#9
“Questions about ‘you didn’t give birth yourself”? I mean, not herself ?! The birth lasted 22 hours, I thought the baby and I were both going to die. An emergency caesarean, about which I just begged, resuscitation, stitches, pain – is this all called “not herself”? Do we have a choice in such a situation? To say that caesarean is, as it were, not real childbirth, maybe a person is either stupid or ill-mannered. When will we all be a little more tactful? “
#10
“I am a good specialist in my field. Professional. I had a very dynamic career, everything was developing well. But I got pregnant, went on maternity leave, two years later gave birth to a second one. And now I can’t go back to work. The company from which I left on maternity leave went bankrupt during quarantine. Nobody wants to take me stupidly – they say, there will be constant sick leave, you will have to take the children, we do not need this. The maximum they offer is freelancing on such terms that it’s time to hang yourself. It turns out that I literally put my life on the altar of motherhood. The family cost me everything. “