Own and someone else’s

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Own and alien are fundamental categories of interpersonal perception, characteristic of the hostile world. Own — my flock, my team. Alien — alien flock.

Psychology of relations within the framework of «Friend or foe»

In a hostile world full of dangers, he will protect his own, but not someone else’s. “Own” is always “good” for us, and “alien” is, if not an enemy, then at least a fearsome one. We are friends with our own, we keep our distance from others.

• The problems of someone else may not concern us. He will not leave his own in trouble.
• We are honest with ourselves. The enemy can be fooled.
• Outsiders can be used to your advantage. They don’t set their own. We do not throw ours.
• The interests of strangers do not concern us directly. Our interests are our interests, we are obliged to help ours.

Their captors are heroes. Alien invaders — enemies

Compare combat operations for the total burning of the enemy’s territory from the films «9th Company» and «Avatar». And there, and there — the invaders in a foreign land. In the film, the 9th Company is ours, and when a child kills ours, it seems normal and fair to destroy the entire village with fire: this is a necessary cleansing. In the movie «Avatar» we live life from the other side, here it seems to us understandable and forgivable that the children, angry, set fire to the enemy’s military equipment. When in response the enemy destroys the ancient forest with fire, this fire burns our hearts.

The plots are identical. But on which side are your sympathies in the film «9th Company»? What about the movie Avatar? Your sympathy is on the side of those with whom you have lived more and with whom you have spent more time before, who are your own. We lived half the movie with Soviet soldiers — your sympathies are on their side, they are theirs, and the dushmans, that is, the indigenous people, are strangers and enemies. We lived half the movie with the inhabitants of the planet, our sympathies are on the side of the indigenous people, they are their own, and the soldiers are strangers.

The actions of one’s own are usually understood and justified (strangers are to blame), the response actions of strangers cause only indignation, there is no justification for them. In social psychology, the peculiarity of such perception is called causal attribution.

Definition: Own or Alien?

How to determine whether it is «our» or «alien»? The most important clues for us are the suggestions of others, the feeling of the first impression and the experience of relationships. See →