We do not live in the present because we are busy with our memories or anticipation of the future. Time becomes a source of depression when it draws attention to our disappointment, because pleasure eludes us as soon as we reach it. How to get rid of the desire to do everything in order to find happiness?
Psychologies: Is there an idea of time that is common to all people?
Brigitte Sitbon: Our concept of time is relative, it varies according to individual differences between people, and besides, it has changed throughout human history. For example, the ancient Greeks had an idea of eternal return, because in ancient Greece time was understood as a cyclical phenomenon, similar to the rotation of the planets. Later monotheism, first Jewish, then Christian, led to a linear vision of time. It is this point of view that prevails today in the West. We are all influenced by the idea of progress oriented from beginning to end and the notion that we are mortal.
- How do you spend your time?
What strings in the soul of each of us are touched by time?
B.S.: It touches on two of our foundational properties: our initial «anxiety» and our will to overcome. We are inherently «restless» because we are driven by numerous, ever-new desires that we feverishly seek to satisfy. But we are also aware that we are mortal, and therefore cannot satisfy them all. Hence our typical impatience. Impatience and the desire to enjoy at any cost intensify as our needs, real or virtual, multiply and all kinds of boundaries disappear. This desperate search for more and more objects of pleasure that we imagine are necessary for our well-being is the cause of the existential anxiety of our age. Today, time is a factor of depression because it draws attention to our frustration and disappointment in the face of pleasure that eludes us once we reach it.
Maybe because of this we get the impression that time has accelerated, that it eludes us and is beyond our control?
B.S.: Time cannot accelerate by itself, it can only seem to us that it has accelerated. The speed of time has not changed. What has changed is the focus of our attention: it is dissipated due to the pace of our work, the need for high performance, the constant calls for consumption … Hence the impression that time is running out, eluding us. This feeling is explained by the fact that we are not completely in the present, but are always busy with our memories or anticipation of the future into which we project ourselves. “The fact is that the present usually hurts us,” Pascal argued, because if it is pleasant, we want to keep it, and if it is unpleasant, we turn to the future. And he adds: «So we never live, but only hope to live»1.
Does this mean that all attempts to live in the present moment are only self-deception?
B.S.: Not necessary. Living in the present moment means savoring the present and extracting all the joys from it, not worrying about the day or hour of our death, which is predetermined for everyone, whether we realize it or not. In the end, this means getting away from the concept of mortality that worries us so much, and therefore from the acute desire to do everything in too limited a time. In a sense, this means living with the idea that we are eternal. It is possible, but for this it is required to move away from the material side of life, which overwhelms us.
- How to get more done in the same time
Is it possible to slow down the speed?
B.S.: At first glance, this is difficult to imagine, because for this we have to suppress in ourselves that sense of urgent need that makes us act quickly within a limited time. This would imply a rejection of the active individual (and this is the predominant type in modern societies) and an appeal to the contemplative, idle man who lived in the mythical and paradisal Eden; this would mean praising laziness and condemning work, and not giving it super value! But such an approach would force us to give up for some time all the activities that ensure our existence.
So we need to change our view of the world?
B.S.: Today, the world for us is a collection of tools. We should stop looking at our environment as tools, stop thinking in terms of goals to be achieved, and stop at the very action that leads us to them; for example, stop thinking of food as healthy and focus on the pleasure of eating itself; do not consider fresh air as a source of oxygen and appreciate the joy of movement on a walk. In essence, our relationship to time tells us how predisposed we are to living happily.
1 B. Pascal “Thoughts. Aphorisms” (AST, 2011).