We live for good, not personal entertainment. Our task is to leave a good mark in life, and our life is dedicated to this, and not to sleep more, eat better and buy everything of status. Our inner comfort is not a value, but only a tool to help us live properly. Ensure your happiness for yourself, it is not difficult, and always be a joy and a smart sun for your loved ones. Similarly, they are only tools, not values - well-being, an interesting life, social status and other self-care.
Positive, constructive, responsibility is the basis of relations to oneself, people and life. If there are difficulties that can be dealt with, we do not run away from them, but cope with them. If you find yourself in trouble, ask for help.
Confidence. We initially treat each other as decent people. Thinking badly of each other without real reason is forbidden. We do not have serious secrets from each other, and everything that is useful to know, we do not hide from each other and tell. Unnecessarily, we do not look into the life of another, but in serious cases, the concept of «confidential information» is not ours.
Healthy lifestyle. Being energetic and healthy is our duty to the loved ones we love and to the life we need to improve. We go to bed on time, we eat what we should, we do sports.
Development. We are not vegetables just to support ourselves safely. It is natural for us to think, seek, develop.
Materialism and science. No higher powers, religion and esotericism. Signs, miracles and witches are not ours. You can have fun with this, take it seriously — no. We build our lives with our own head, choosing our values on our own. When deciding what to do, we turn not to heaven, but to facts and our own mind.
Reason is more important than feelings. Feel whatever you want and do what you have to. In the discussion, crying, heavy emotions and other pressure on feelings are unacceptable, we discuss everything calmly and reasonably, formulating theses and giving justifications. When your emotions outweigh your reason, by default, the one who has his head in place is right. The smart ones are always the best.
Decency. Until a person proves otherwise, he is a decent person for us, we respect him, we don’t just say nasty things about him and we fulfill all agreements with him without reminders. With decent people, we behave decently, even if they are our rivals. If we have disagreements, we resolve them on the basis of existing agreements and our Family Constitution.
Honesty and self-control are the basis of trust. We live in such a way that we can be trusted without checks: we monitor our behavior ourselves, we never lie to our own and do not hide anything important.
We do not build our happiness on the misfortune of others. You can take a cool person from a bad family, but we don’t take a married man from a good family, no matter how much love we have flared up.
All the best for adults. We love children so that they grow smarter and grow up, and not grow up as children, thoughtless people and unfortunate victims. If a child cannot or does not want to live like this, in extreme cases we are ready to give it up in order to invest in those who can and want to be a quality person. Children obey their elders when they fulfill their parental responsibilities and raise them as quality people.
For men, a rigid position in education is normal and correct. For a man, children are not just blood, but the successors of his work and the defenders of his values. Taras Bulba abandoned his son, Andriy, when he went over to the side of the enemies. A.S. Makarenko broke up with one of his pupils, who chose the life of a thief and bandit. If children have the right to choose their life position, parents have the right to determine their attitude towards this choice of children. See Father’s Model of Love
Gratitude. We appreciate smart help to us and are ready to thank for it not only in words, but also in deeds. If parents gave us life and took care of us intelligently for decades, we take care of them whenever they need it.
If children value their family, they build their family only with those people with whom their parents will have good relations.
Mutual support: everyone supports everyone. Indifference is unacceptable; having fun when one of the family members needs help is dishonorable. No one can offend our mother. The family members obey the head of the family — everyone. Our children are always under our protection.
«You don’t fight with your parents.» If adult children do not agree at all with their parents, they thank them and do not argue further: they stop using their help and begin to live completely independently. They leave the family to create their own family, even better!
These values, as guidelines for life, are accepted in the family of the editor of the Psychologos, Prof. N.I. Kozlov. Perhaps in your family the values are somewhat different — the main thing is that you have values uXNUMXbuXNUMXband are shared by all members of your family. If these values are close to you or, moreover, fully correspond to your views, it will be very great if you write about it in the comments. We will be pleased to know that there are many people with similar values.