Typical mistakes in setting goals when working on yourself are general, not specific formulations.
“Spend more time on household chores, creating comfort in the house.” Or “Be more tolerant of your husband’s habits, talk and explain calmly with him” … — These formulations do not oblige to anything, they are almost impossible to check. How much more time did you devote to household chores? For 1 minute? for 1 hour? How much more tolerant was her husband’s habits? One less scandal?
The volume of the planned result (ORM) — the specifics of how much and what I plan to receive by a certain date based on the results of work on the Distance exercises or other obligations in working on myself. The formulation of the ORM contributes to a clearer and more efficient performance of work (including work on oneself), gives the criteria for performing the exercise and the answer to the question: “How will I know that the exercise has been completed?”.
It is important to determine the ORM not only in relation to one’s own goals, but also in relation to the client’s goals in the consultant’s work. How the translation of an indistinct description of the problem into a clear ORM may look like, see the table:
ORM is a wonderful tool for planning the day’s activities. See an example, you will understand everything:
Problem formulation before | ORP wording |
| leads | From 10 to 11 and from 14-16 call the leads, start with those who are closest to the money |
| renewals | Call, fill out the NPS form and issue an invoice |
| zoom Stas | * draw up a negotiation plan,
|
Typically, ORMs are numbers, facts, or expert judgment. Let’s talk in more detail about the typical ways of formulating the ORM:
For example, «I got married.» Or — I get a diploma, it has a state seal and a line on the website: «successfully defended.» With this method of fixing ORM, a person should have a clear image: what I see, what I hear or feel. “I want a respectful relationship” — what does this mean to you, what exactly is it expressed in? «We are together, look at each other, look in love.»
When there is no one clear image, it can be replaced by a list of specific indicators. Indeed, instead of “Spend more time on household chores, creating comfort in the house,” it sounds more specifically: “One hour of household chores daily” or “From this day for a month: the bed is always made, the dishes are washed immediately after eating, there is order on the table and nothing superfluous.»
Also, instead of “Be more tolerant of my husband’s habits, talk calmly with him and explain”, more specific obligations: “Make a list of my husband’s habits that I am ready to accept and hang in a conspicuous place”, “Ask my husband to track my calm voice, 2 squats per every tense intonation of the voice.
As for the wording on a healthy diet, they can look like this: “There are high-quality, healthy foods in the diet (list) and there are no harmful ones (list).”
For example: I plan to regularly pull myself up on the horizontal bar every other day. ORM: after six months, I easily pull myself up (without sharp jerks) with a direct grip 20 times.
Or, I plan to study English every day for 25 minutes. ORM: in a month I know by heart the table of irregular verbs.
A woman comes with a request: «The child does not obey me.» We give her 50 matches, the task is to lay them out — in the left pocket, when he obeyed, and the right one, when he did not obey. What will be the specific result?
A variant of the numerical criterion is the use of one or another conditional ruler. For example, if there are seven days in a week, then the obligation “I go to bed at least three times a week today, that is, until 24.00” sounds quite understandable and very clear.
The wording “Improve our relations” is not good: really, on what scale will we measure this improvement? However, if the psychologist, together with the spouses, builds an understandable scale of relationships, consisting, for example, of the wording “Divorce” — “Dog to death” — “Just dog-like” — “No way” — “Respectful relationship” — “Harmony” — “Synergy” or “Honey month”, then the couple got a convenient and understandable scale. There was clarity.
If a person knows the scale of emotional tones, then it is quite legitimate to make commitments with the wording “I will not fall below the line“ The world is good ”.
Sometimes almost the only way to formulate an ORM is through peer review, as the expert determines the quality by eye: “Yes or not. Passed the exercise — not passed. A variant of an expert assessment is a figure, in a group of how many people I can be the first or among the best (in leadership, in royalty, in Sun). For example, in a group of three, I will always be the most energetic person. But in a group of 10 people, I can’t promise this yet, here my level of sunshine needs to be tightened up.