The Option® Method (Option Process®) is an approach to personal growth created by the American Barry Neil Kaufman which aims to shed his negative patterns and choose happiness. In this sheet, you will discover what the option method is, its principles, its history, its benefits, the course of a session as well as the training required to practice it.

The Option method is defined above all as a process of personal growth. Its different techniques aim, in short, to acquire all kinds of means to choose happiness rather than discomfort, in a multitude of circumstances. They nevertheless have a therapeutic aspect. Their benefits, it is claimed, have repercussions on the state of psychological and physical health.

According to this approach, happiness is a choice, even though “discomfort” and sadness remain inevitable. Barry Kaufman and the supporters of the Option method defend the idea that ill-being is neither more nor less than one of the survival strategies of the human being. We would often tend to consider suffering and its various manifestations (revolt, submission, sadness) as an inevitable part of our life. However, according to them, it would be possible to get rid of this old reflex and adopt a new survival strategy. One could “choose” inner peace and happiness rather than becoming a victim of one’s suffering, even when one is sad or angry.

The main principles

One could reach the path to happiness by becoming aware of his beliefs and personal myths – what everyone has forged since childhood in thoughts, emotions and behaviors to protect themselves from the outside world – and especially by transforming them. In other words, when we realize that distress is not the only possible way out of pain, we open up to happiness and pleasure.

Concretely, the Option method comprises a set of techniques for learning happiness (or “unlearning” of unhappiness…) whose applications, depending on the case, can be educational, therapeutic or quite simply in the order of personal growth.

For example, the option dialogue technique, which is inspired by the “mirror” technique, allows us to go back to the sources of discomfort. Based on an emotion – hatred, anger, sadness – expressed by the person, the mentor questions the beliefs attached to it, so as to help him to free himself from them.

Some typical questions

Do you feel sad Why? Do you believe in this reason? What would happen if you didn’t believe it? Do you think this sadness is inevitable? Why do you believe it? What would happen if you didn’t believe it?

By opening the door to other possibilities, and by clarifying the issues, we aim for an objective understanding of discomfort, an essential condition for achieving inner peace. The technique is characterized by the deep respect for the emotions of the person who calls upon it and by the great openness of the mentor, often presented as “unconditional acceptance”. The idea that the person is his own expert and has in himself the resources to face any situation (aggression, bereavement, separation, serious handicap, etc.) is also at the center of the process. The mentor’s role of interrogator and mirror is essential, but the latter must remain a catalyst, never a guide.

The Option Institute has also created a program for families with a child with autism or with another pervasive developmental disorder (such as Asperger’s syndrome). This program, named Son-Rise, has greatly contributed to the reputation of the institute. Parents who adopt the Son-Rise program are not choosing just a method of intervention, but literally a way of life. Such a commitment entails high costs, in both time and money: the program is carried out at home, with the support of friends and volunteers, often full-time, and sometimes over a period that may extend over several years. .

The Kaufmans say today that by getting rid of personal myths, one can come to accept and love a person completely, even a child radically cut off from the outside world. Thus, thanks to this unconditional love, the parent can integrate the world of the child, join him in this world, tame him, then invite him to come into ours.

On the website of the Option institute, we can read many testimonials from people struggling with different problems, such as panic disorder, depression, and various illnesses of psychosomatic origin, who have regained their health thanks to the approach. . Thus, the benefits stated here have not been the subject of any scientific studies to date.

Promotes personal development

It is by succeeding in adopting this attitude of unconditional love, both towards themselves and towards others, that the “healthy” would manage to heal their inner wounds, and to tame and then to choose happiness. They would thus accomplish, to another degree, a process similar to that accomplished by autistic people who become functional again.

Helping children with autism or other serious developmental disabilities

Only one research seems to have been published on the subject and looked at the psychological health of families participating in the program rather than its effectiveness. She concluded that these families are under high stress and should be able to count on increased support, especially during times when the method is perceived to be less effective. More recently, an article published in 2006 also reports the results of this research, this time suggesting the necessary prerequisites for the evaluation of children with autism. However, no new information is provided regarding the effectiveness of the program.

Learn to make better decisions 

The option method would allow clear and insightful decisions to be made

Build confidence

Mobilize your resources: the option method would make it possible to become aware of your resources by identifying and removing negative beliefs.

The Option Institute manages programs that include many themes and formulas: The Happiness Option, Empowering Yourself, Couples Course, Exceptional Woman, Calm Amid Chaos, etc. The vast majority of them are offered in the form of more or less extended stays at the institute (located in Massachusetts).

The Institute also offers a home training program (Choosing to live happily: an introduction to the Option Process) which allows you to learn about the method by forming your own growth group. For the Option dialogue, a telephone service is offered.

Mentors from the Option method and trainers from the Son-Rise program practice independently in a few European countries and in Canada. Consult the list on the Institute’s website 3.

In Quebec, the Option-Voix Center offers some of the services specific to the approach: dialogue on site or on the phone, course sessions on the Option method, preparation or follow-up of families involved in the Son-Rise program (see the Landmarks).

The specialist

It must absolutely be accredited by the Option institute since the option method is a registered trademark.

Course of a session

For the optional chat sessions, the conversation lasts about an hour and takes place face to face or over the phone. After a few sessions, the person generally integrates the principles of this form of dialogue, and then applies them independently. She may call on a mentor again occasionally, as you have a tool sharpened from time to time.

Devenir therapist

Training is offered only at the institute. Two certifications are offered: Option Process or Son-Rise. No school prerequisite is required; the selection of candidates is based on their understanding of the basic philosophy and on the quality of their engagement.

Barry Kaufman and his wife Samahria designed the Son-Rise program based on their personal experience. The story of the Kaufmans and their son Raun, diagnosed with autism at the age of one and a half, is told in the book A Miracle of Love and in an NBC-made TV movie called Son-Rise: A Miracle. of Love. As no conventional medicine treatment offered hope for a cure, or even improvement for their child, the Kaufmans adopted an approach based on unconditional love.

For three years, day and night, they took turns with him. They have become real mirrors of their child, systematically imitating all his gestures: swinging in place, crawling on the ground, examining his fingers in front of his eyes, etc. The approach has borne fruit: little by little, Raun has opened up to the outside world. Now an adult, he has a university degree in biomedical ethics and lectures around the world on the Son-Rise program.