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In general, barely has the mother left the maternity hospital when the question arises: “So, when is the baby second due?” “They answer:” Never! “. They love their family as it is, three-way, but must constantly justify their choice. Testimonials.
Being able to give it all
Sophie : “We both come from a large family. I have five sisters. It was obvious from the start that we would only have one child, so that we could give him the best. Anyway, I don’t feel like a mother of several children. When I see my sisters who each have between three and five, I can’t imagine myself in their place. I would be very scared that I wouldn’t be able to love another child like I love Alice. I have been told several times about this image of the heart which grows larger with each child, but that does not really convince me! And I would be afraid to break the special relationship that I have with my daughter. In addition, I do not like pregnancy at all, the pounds that accumulate, nausea, fatigue too. So really, despite my young age, I’m going to stop there. ”
Cédric : “The certainty that we would only have one child came at the same time as I was learning to take care of my daughter. I saw the work it took to educate a child. I did not imagine that. You have to think about everything all the time, and no longer just yourself. This is the end of recklessness. Financial considerations also come into play. She can have what she wants, it’s important to me. I did not grow up in very secure material conditions. We have a small budget, we must be able to insure for his studies. Because I won’t let go of it. We can devote all of our time to him. “
“Another child would slow down my career”
Aurélie ” I didn’t want a child. I dreamed of traveling, having fun, with exciting love stories. And then, I met my current companion. It was obvious that such a great love had to come true in a child. We lost our first baby, at five months pregnant, and it hurt me a lot. The second pregnancy came very quickly. I lived it with great anguish and even today, I overprotect my daughter, our relationship is fused. Motherhood has been a revolution for me. I had never lived with babies, babies did not interest me, and there, I discovered this unconditional love. Pregnancy gave me wings. I changed jobs. I didn’t want to waste my time anymore. I love my job and love my life as it is. I want both devote myself to my child and fulfill myself professionally, find time for me, for my relationship. My partner agrees, he is afraid that we will be overwhelmed. We live in Paris, I have two hours of transport per day, exorbitant childcare costs. With one child, it’s already very complicated, with two, it seems unmanageable to me. I think that going from two to three children is a change of organization, but not a upheaval. Going from one to two is an upheaval. With me, the vital need of motherhood does not take precedence over these very practical considerations. I know that in the collective unconscious, the ideal family is two children. Not for us. We joked about it with my partner at the beginning: “Here, our toothbrushes are in the same cup. Soon we will have two children, a Scénic and a Labrador! ” In another context, living in a big house in the countryside, why not. But not there, with this way of life. “
“My need for motherhood is met”
Ameline : “I am of an anxious nature. I often worry about my son. I always wonder if he’s okay, if he’s not sick. If I had several children, it would be difficult for me. I think I would not mind my relationship at all. Before Viktor’s birth, I imagined myself with two or even three children. But it’s a strange feeling now that my son is here it’s like my motherhood need was met. I no longer feel the need or the desire to have another baby. It’s amazing how people allow themselves to judge: “It’s very selfish to be one, he’ll be bored”. As if we were making a child to give a playmate to the elder! He is in a super-nursery, we do a lot of activities with him, he is very open to the world. Everything is fine. Others maintain that since I am young, I have time to change my mind. Really, no. Some women are sure they want three children, I’m sure I only want one. I don’t worry about the future. And then, in my entourage, I see wars for inheritance. Siblings are not the guarantee of solidarity and support.